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My daughter's teacher just called
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amother




Magenta
 

Post Thu, Dec 31 2020, 11:25 am
amother [ Teal ] wrote:
Hugs, op
My 11 yr old also comes home telling me how mean and unfair her teachers are. I've just been shrugging it off


I would try to relax the topic, and tell my kid I want her to behave well. I know she can, and I know the teacher will lover her when she behaves well.

Then we can address her temptations to act up. she will say: but when others... or when the teacher does... and I would allow her to talk, and the say: Ok , lets see how you can act in a way that we will both br proud. ask her for suggestions, make some "maybe if you..., would that be an idea"?

Its a chinuch opportunity.

My DH tells me his second grade was misbehaving that they had 13 teachers quit in one year.
BH he loved to learn, and didnt join the mis.

I hope my kids will be the same. Refind, love to learn, ok not joining a crowd when behavior is negative.
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naomi2




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Dec 31 2020, 1:05 pm
It's just that the principal got more than one complaint about your daughter. It would take more than what your daughter said she did for a few moms to get involved and make a call to the principal I think
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amother




OP
 

Post Thu, Dec 31 2020, 1:22 pm
Just to clarify a few things, the teacher herself was surprised the principal got calls about my daughter, I don't think she's misbehaving too much. Some talking to the girl next to her, came 5 min late once - that's all I was told.
Talking to the teacher would not have solved her issues because that's exactly what she was upset about - the teacher not listening to her. The situations were the teacher not giving her credit for work completed correctly, and teacher ignoring her when she was trying to tell her she didn't get certain supplies or handouts cuz her table was skipped, and the teacher kept insisting that she got what she needed.
I am mostly surprised to hear that my daughter had influence in the classroom with the other girls. She gives off a quiet, meek type of impression. She usually likes to go to friends and not play at home, so I don't see her so much in social situations.
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amother




Wheat
 

Post Thu, Dec 31 2020, 1:34 pm
My 11 yr old also doesn't like her teachers. She complains endlessly about them. She feels they are treated like babies.
The way I see it, since it's such an in between age, some girls are more mature and some less. The teachers cater to the less mature level.
So my daughter feels disrespected and gives back what she gets.
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amother




Magenta
 

Post Thu, Dec 31 2020, 1:43 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Just to clarify a few things, the teacher herself was surprised the principal got calls about my daughter, I don't think she's misbehaving too much. Some talking to the girl next to her, came 5 min late once - that's all I was told.
Talking to the teacher would not have solved her issues because that's exactly what she was upset about - the teacher not listening to her. The situations were the teacher not giving her credit for work completed correctly, and teacher ignoring her when she was trying to tell her she didn't get certain supplies or handouts cuz her table was skipped, and the teacher kept insisting that she got what she needed.
I am mostly surprised to hear that my daughter had influence in the classroom with the other girls. She gives off a quiet, meek type of impression. She usually likes to go to friends and not play at home, so I don't see her so much in social situations.


Imagine you are in a classroom, ands kids "only talk to the friend next to them" while you are tryng to teach. Imagine your husband saying torah to the kids oevr shabbos seuda and the kids are nice kids "only keep talkint to each other>

talking to others is class is an interuption which will disturb the whole class from being able to learn. Dont they sit in class so they can learn and grow?

Recess is good time to talk to friends. Class time is not. its a major interruption to all including those who do want to learn.

its also lack of respect to authority.

and being late doesnt seem to be compliant either.

so teach your children how to be appropriate. what you listed is not "small".

If you want school to be able to be mechanech your children, children need to learn respect and following rules. Dont focus on what the teacher does right or wrong. focus on empowering your child to do whats right. it will serve her well for many years to come.
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funkyfrummom




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Dec 31 2020, 1:50 pm
I'm a teacher of 10 and 11-year-olds (5th grade) and just want to add in that at this age there is a dramatic shift in socialization. It's typical child development. It is not at all unusual for a child to be very different in class, as they are shifting to adolescence, than what their parents know them to be historically.

In other words, often what I report to parents as far as what their child does in class in social situations with peers is hard for parents to believe because it is different from what they have known in the past. Doesn't mean it isn't the case, though. I always think of it as a learning year for parents as they get to know the adolescent version of their child.

Additionally, again from a teacher's perspective, I never think badly of the children because of this. It is all just a part of growing up. The other girls may have been involved in some way, but remember that their parents also probably are not recognizing the new social reality and how their children are growing into different roles.
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cbsp




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Dec 31 2020, 2:24 pm
amother [ Magenta ] wrote:
Imagine you are in a classroom, ands kids "only talk to the friend next to them" while you are tryng to teach. Imagine your husband saying torah to the kids oevr shabbos seuda and the kids are nice kids "only keep talkint to each other>

talking to others is class is an interuption which will disturb the whole class from being able to learn. Dont they sit in class so they can learn and grow?

Recess is good time to talk to friends. Class time is not. its a major interruption to all including those who do want to learn.

its also lack of respect to authority.

and being late doesnt seem to be compliant either.

so teach your children how to be appropriate. what you listed is not "small".

If you want school to be able to be mechanech your children, children need to learn respect and following rules. Dont focus on what the teacher does right or wrong. focus on empowering your child to do whats right. it will serve her well for many years to come.


All that's fine and dandy from a teacher perspective but OP clearly said the parents called the principal to complain about her daughter- and the teacher was surprised.

Do you know any parent that calls the principal to complain about a child in her DD"s class who comes 5 minutes late?
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amother




Forestgreen
 

Post Thu, Dec 31 2020, 2:32 pm
If parents are calling the principal to complain, I am sure there is something more going on than a classmate who comes in from recess 5 minutes late or is whispering a bit in class.
Phone calls to the principal about another child are almost always due to concerns about being a bad influence.
Maybe it's not just coming in late, maybe it's encouraging or pressuring the other girls to also come late. Something along those lines.
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