Help!! Why does my dd not listen to a word I say! 😕

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amother

Thu, Dec 31 2020, 9:12 am

Any ideas? I am at my wits end.
My dd (6 years old) is Kah a delightful child! She is at the stage of anything I tell her to do, is fun??? To do the opposite. The simplest things like pick up your coat, gets a no. Reading Homework is fun to do any other page but the one she needs to. Just now I asked her to hold her breakfast so I can close her zipper and she just put her hands behind her back.

I go between calmly explaining and yelling that she doesn't listen to a word I say and then feeling bad. Can't Believe It

Experienced mama's please share your secrets!

FranticFrummie

Thu, Dec 31 2020, 9:28 am

Have you tried telling her to do the opposite of what you want her to do?

"Sarala, throw your coat on the floor! Don't you dare hang it up in your room!"

She thinks this is a really funny game, and she enjoys your reaction. Try ignoring her every time she's oppositional. She's getting your full attention this way. Praise her every time you "catch" her cooperating.

Natural consequences. If she won't cooperate with her coat, she can go to school cold. If she doesn't do her homework, she will get a bad grade.

You could try reverse role play. Only do this when things are calm. "Sarale, when you did this it was very naughty. If you were the mommy, what do you think you should do about it?"

You may have to try a few things before you get through to her. I'd start out with walking away from her every time she tries her schtick.

Motherhood

Thu, Dec 31 2020, 4:30 pm

Kids (and people in general) don’t like to be told what to do. How about rephrasing and pointing out what you see “I see someone’s coat on the floor. Someone might slip if it stays out”. Another option is only give what she asks of you once she does what you ask of her. “I’ll listen to you when I see you listen to me”

amother

Seagreen

Thu, Dec 31 2020, 5:20 pm

As much as you can, avoid giving her direct commands. Don't give her the opportunity to say no. Give choices that are both acceptable to you.
You can say - Oh it looks like you're not ready now to do your hw/go outside/get dressed, let me know when you're ready. If you want you can add, if you're ready by a specific time we will have time for a sticker/story/treat. Otherwise, we won't have time.
You can try making things into a game and setting a timer.

amother

Scarlet

Thu, Dec 31 2020, 5:30 pm

My kids get oppositional like that when they have strep. Sounds crazy but it’s true.

silverlining3

Thu, Dec 31 2020, 6:17 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Experienced mama's please share your secrets!

Hey, we got something in common.
Hoping this stage to pass quick, I'm at my wits end too.

Hugs

I have to add, she can be really good and helpful too. And I make sure to compliment her every time.

Last edited by silverlining3 on Thu, Dec 31 2020, 6:46 pm; edited 1 time in total

trixx

Thu, Dec 31 2020, 6:42 pm

How to talk so kids will listen

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