Home

Do you feel differently when you’re around men than women?
1, 2  Next
 
Post new topic   Reply to topic    Forum -> Relationships -> Manners & Etiquette


View latest: 24h 48h 72h


amother




OP
 

Post Thu, Jan 07 2021, 7:02 am
Also act?

When I’m around men, whether I know them or not, I feel different than when I’m around women. With acting, with women, it depends on how well I know them. I do try to act more demure, tznius around men.

I wanted to put this in interesting discussions, but it’s amother disabled.
Back to top

singleagain




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Jan 07 2021, 7:32 am
Absolutely I act differently.... But not bc men v women. But bc of who the person is. Plus most men I know through work. Still that's an automatic different relationship.

But say I'm talking to a male customer v a female customer who's complaining (I work in a grocery store) I recently was able to stand up better to a female customer where as I got the male manager to talk to the male customer.

But not bc of tznius but bc I had this feeling the male customer wasn't going to listen to me. Don't know if that's his personality or bc he's male and I'm female though
Back to top

tweety1




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Jan 07 2021, 7:39 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Also act?

When I’m around men, whether I know them or not, I feel different than when I’m around women. With acting, with women, it depends on how well I know them. I do try to act more demure, tznius around men.

I wanted to put this in interesting discussions, but it’s amother disabled.

Of course I do. It's sort of comes subconsciously.
Back to top

allthingsblue




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Jan 07 2021, 8:30 am
When I'm around yeshivish, chassidish men: sometimes
When I'm around men who grew up with women etc: no I don't feel different
Back to top

behappy2




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Jan 07 2021, 8:40 am
With men I will joke less, less chit chat
Back to top

shabbatiscoming




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Jan 07 2021, 8:41 am
Nope. I dont act or feel different.
Back to top

amother




Papaya
 

Post Thu, Jan 07 2021, 8:59 am
Men in the family, no difference.
Men not my immediate relatives, definitely not as heimish & more formal. It's supposed to be like that. We're not supposed to be heimish & comfortable around men that aren't our relatives.
Back to top

thunderstorm




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Jan 07 2021, 9:00 am
I only feel uncomfortable around frum men.
Back to top

amother




Chocolate
 

Post Thu, Jan 07 2021, 9:11 am
allthingsblue wrote:
When I'm around yeshivish, chassidish men: sometimes
When I'm around men who grew up with women etc: no I don't feel different

Same! I'm also more anxious around men. I don't feel safe.
Back to top

shabbatiscoming




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Jan 07 2021, 9:12 am
thunderstorm wrote:
I only feel uncomfortable around frum men.
But you feel comfortable around not frum and non jewish men? Care to explain?
Back to top

amother




Babypink
 

Post Thu, Jan 07 2021, 9:17 am
thunderstorm wrote:
I only feel uncomfortable around frum men.


Same. Because frum men probably feel uncomfortable around women.
Back to top

shabbatiscoming




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Jan 07 2021, 9:27 am
amother [ Babypink ] wrote:
Same. Because frum men probably feel uncomfortable around women.
Thats quite a large generalization.
Not all frum men :/
Back to top

thunderstorm




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Jan 07 2021, 9:32 am
amother [ Babypink ] wrote:
Same. Because frum men probably feel uncomfortable around women.

I think that’s the reason. I find that it’s the frum men that make me feel awkward and uncomfortable. They give off a certain vibe, that I have not experienced with secular Jewish men or non Jewish men.
Back to top

thunderstorm




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Jan 07 2021, 9:33 am
shabbatiscoming wrote:
Thats quite a large generalization.
Not all frum men :/

Perhaps in the MO world I wouldn’t feel that awkwardness as much. But in the more heimish world, it’s definitely felt.
Back to top

amother




Papaya
 

Post Thu, Jan 07 2021, 9:34 am
Frum men that are friendly towards non relative frum women creep me out. Any non relative man that's too friendly makes me uncomfortable, but for some odd reason when it's a frum man, I get creeped out.
Back to top

Crookshanks




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Jan 07 2021, 9:40 am
amother [ Papaya ] wrote:
Frum men that are friendly towards non relative frum women creep me out. Any non relative man that's too friendly makes me uncomfortable, but for some odd reason when it's a frum man, I get creeped out.

Exactly! I feel like they should know better and I can trust them to keep boundaries. If they don't, it makes me more uncomfortable if it's a frum man.
Back to top

singleagain




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Jan 07 2021, 9:43 am
Disclaimer voice to text

I just wanted to add that for me it's less about the gender of the person and more about the exact situation that the interaction is going on

especially since I am sometimes in a customer service situation if the customer regardless of gender is antagonizing I am already more on guard and feel differently than a customer who is nice
Back to top

Frumme




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Jan 07 2021, 10:20 am
amother [ Papaya ] wrote:
Frum men that are friendly towards non relative frum women creep me out. Any non relative man that's too friendly makes me uncomfortable, but for some odd reason when it's a frum man, I get creeped out.


So a frum man can't have a friendly personality or they're creepy? Really? IMO I really appreciate rovs and male teachers who are approachable and kind vs distant and treat women with a sort of distain/necessary evil....

Sure it's important to build boundaries between the genders. However, not so much as to mistake politeness for flirting.
Back to top

amother




Papaya
 

Post Thu, Jan 07 2021, 10:29 am
Frumme wrote:
So a frum man can't have a friendly personality or they're creepy? Really? IMO I really appreciate rovs and male teachers who are approachable and kind vs distant and treat women with a sort of distain/necessary evil....

Sure it's important to build boundaries between the genders. However, not so much as to mistake politeness for flirting.


It doesn’t have to be either friendly or disdain, there's an in between. You can be polite, respectful, and approachable without being friendly and getting too comfortable.
Back to top

amother




Burlywood
 

Post Thu, Jan 07 2021, 12:39 pm
thunderstorm wrote:
Perhaps in the MO world I wouldn’t feel that awkwardness as much. But in the more heimish world, it’s definitely felt.
I identify as MO and I feel it. The more RW the men, the more uncomfortable I feel. I don't usually feel awkward around secular or nonJewish men unless there's something about them that's off or inappropriate. Which is a good thing as I work in what is still a male-dominated field although not quite as much so as it used to be.
Back to top
1, 2  Next Recent Topics

Page 1 of 2 View latest: 24h 48h 72h


Post new topic   Reply to topic    Forum -> Relationships -> Manners & Etiquette

Related Topics Replies Last Post
Does this not freak you all out?
by amother
128 Today at 5:41 am View last post
How many hours are you on baby care?
by amother
7 Today at 1:02 am View last post
[ Poll ] When is the last time you read your kids “McElligot's Pool” 43 Yesterday at 11:38 pm View last post
Do you tidy up after your kids in other people's houses?
by amother
16 Yesterday at 11:13 pm View last post
[ Poll ] S/o which Satmar school did you go to?
by amother
38 Yesterday at 10:31 pm View last post