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Teaching High School while pregnant
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amother




OP
 

Post Sun, Jan 10 2021, 9:29 am
So I teach computers in a bais yaakov high school (same high school I went to). I am pregnant and one of my 9th graders asked me where babies come from because she heard ‘things’ but doesn’t know. Knowing how sheltered these girls are, I strongly believe they should have the basic concepts from their parents but I’m aware that some don’t. I thankfully had more info than some of my friends who were shocked in Kallah classes... With my own kids I plan to be very open and honest. Anyway personal feelings aside, what do I answer? When she asked I said I have to go get my kids from school now but we can talk next week.
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amother




Burgundy
 

Post Sun, Jan 10 2021, 9:31 am
Honestly I would just answer that it’s not my department I teach computers. She can ask the bio teacher or her mechaneches.
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trixx




 
 
 
 

Post Sun, Jan 10 2021, 9:34 am
Tell the mechaneches or biology teacher that this q came up and you believe admin has to address it. Obviously they can/will probably botch it up. But in your setting I wouldn't take the achrayus to be the one to educate her. Or at least call her mom to tell her.
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amother




Puce
 

Post Sun, Jan 10 2021, 10:04 am
I would give mother a call.
"Your daughter just ask me, do you want to speak to her or should I ask someone to do it in school?"
It might be you if you feel comfortable or another staff member.
I know it's always better if parents do the job but sometimes (very often?)they don't because they are embarrassed or they're not sure of what to say.
She might tell you she'll take care of it or she might be relieved you're offering to do it!
Btw not sure that it has anything to do with you being pregnant! Wink
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amother




OP
 

Post Sun, Jan 10 2021, 10:19 am
amother [ Puce ] wrote:
I would give mother a call.
"Your daughter just ask me, do you want to speak to her or should I ask someone to do it in school?"
It might be you if you feel comfortable or another staff member.
I know it's always better if parents do the job but sometimes (very often?)they don't because they are embarrassed or they're not sure of what to say.
She might tell you she'll take care of it or she might be relieved you're offering to do it!
Btw not sure that it has anything to do with you being pregnant! Wink


Yes! I was so thrown off guard and literally didn’t know what to say so I bought myself time. I’ll def mention it to her mother. Also I think the only reason she asked me is because I’m pregnant bec idk why else she would choose to ask me.

Telling the bio teacher prob wouldn’t be a great idea since she’s straight out of Sem and still single though I’m sure knowledgeable.

Thanks to everyone who answered I will also mention it to the mechaneches.
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amother




Seafoam
 

Post Sun, Jan 10 2021, 10:20 am
trixx wrote:
Tell the mechaneches or biology teacher that this q came up and you believe admin has to address it. Obviously they can/will probably botch it up. But in your setting I wouldn't take the achrayus to be the one to educate her. Or at least call her mom to tell her.


I wanted to hug you, but I was worried it would be seen as a dislike.
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amother




Rose
 

Post Sun, Jan 10 2021, 10:20 am
Are you sure she's not just messing with you?
(to be fair I didn't know until I was studying for the 9th grade bio regent Very Happy )
regardless of that though it's a little bit socially off for her to ask you that question so that should probably be addressed as well
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amother




Honeydew
 

Post Sun, Jan 10 2021, 10:26 am
I would say "This is an important conversation to have with your mother" It's not a teacher's place. Any teacher.
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amother




Mauve
 

Post Sun, Jan 10 2021, 10:35 am
amother [ Rose ] wrote:
Are you sure she's not just messing with you?
(to be fair I didn't know until I was studying for the 9th grade bio regent Very Happy )
regardless of that though it's a little bit socially off for her to ask you that question so that should probably be addressed as well

My exact thoughts. Come on. Even if she doesn’t know, it would be the weirdest thing to ask a teacher.
~Coming from a girl who grew up VERY sheltered (and loved it!)
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clowny




 
 
 
 

Post Sun, Jan 10 2021, 10:36 am
I think it’s pretty bizarre, weird, disrespectful and more, for a that age Bais Yakov kid to approach a computer teacher and ask that question.
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WitchKitty




 
 
 
 

Post Sun, Jan 10 2021, 10:36 am
Say "ask your mom"
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amother




Indigo
 

Post Sun, Jan 10 2021, 10:38 am
amother [ Mauve ] wrote:
My exact thoughts. Come on. Even if she doesn’t know, it would be the weirdest thing to ask a teacher.
~Coming from a girl who grew up VERY sheltered (and loved it!)

So true. No way are you the first pregnant teacher she has had.
Sounds more of an attempt to be attention seeking than anything else.
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amother




cornflower
 

Post Sun, Jan 10 2021, 10:43 am
amother [ Indigo ] wrote:
So true. No way are you the first pregnant teacher she has had.
Sounds more of an attempt to be attention seeking than anything else.


If she's seeking attention, then maybe she needs attention. And maybe she feels like the op is a non-threatening adult. Don't embarrass her, whatever you do.
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amother




Indigo
 

Post Sun, Jan 10 2021, 10:45 am
amother [ cornflower ] wrote:
If she's seeking attention, then maybe she needs attention. And maybe she feels like the op is a non-threatening adult. Don't embarrass her, whatever you do.

In which case my advice is to hand this off to the guidance counselor.
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amother




Rose
 

Post Sun, Jan 10 2021, 10:48 am
amother [ Indigo ] wrote:
In which case my advice is to hand this off to the guidance counselor.

exactly, this really strikes me as a social issue more than anything else
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amother




Honeydew
 

Post Sun, Jan 10 2021, 10:54 am
amother [ Indigo ] wrote:
In which case my advice is to hand this off to the guidance counselor.


Please don't hand her off to anyone. she is a teenager, not a child. Tell her to talk to her mother. It's her mother's decision what to tell her.
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amother




Indigo
 

Post Sun, Jan 10 2021, 11:01 am
amother [ Honeydew ] wrote:
Please don't hand her off to anyone. she is a teenager, not a child. Tell her to talk to her mother. It's her mother's decision what to tell her.

Yes, she is a child. The school is responsible for her well being and this includes social and emotional well being. If she needs attention that badly, she isn't getting it from home. There is a reason schools now have trained counselors, to help in exactly this kind of situation.
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amother




Honeydew
 

Post Sun, Jan 10 2021, 11:05 am
amother [ Indigo ] wrote:
Yes, she is a child. The school is responsible for her well being and this includes social and emotional well being. If she needs attention that badly, she isn't getting it from home. There is a reason schools now have trained counselors, to help in exactly this kind of situation.


Let's break this down. Parents pay the school money to educate their child. That includes Judaic and Secular subjects. They don't pay them to raise the child for them. The parent is the one committed to the child's well being. I say this, not as a high school parent, but as a former high school teacher who understood and respected boundaries.
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amother




Burgundy
 

Post Sun, Jan 10 2021, 11:08 am
amother [ Indigo ] wrote:
In which case my advice is to hand this off to the guidance counselor.


If it’s a sheltered type of BY school, there ain’t no guidance counselor
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amother




Indigo
 

Post Sun, Jan 10 2021, 11:11 am
amother [ Honeydew ] wrote:
Let's break this down. Parents pay the school money to educate their child. That includes Judaic and Secular subjects. They don't pay them to raise the child for them. The parent is the one committed to the child's well being. I say this, not as a high school parent, but as a former high school teacher who understood and respected boundaries.

I didn't say the counselor should be telling her about s*x. I said the counselor should be helping her with her need for attention or social cues. Clearly she needs help with one of those, or both. Just telling her "talk to your mother" won't help her with either. She will just continue to say inappropriate things to get attention. At least this time it was private and not done in front of her peers--which would have negative ramifications on her social standing. Next time it might not be.
I can think of girls who acted like this when I was in school. Unfortunately the counseling situation was a joke back then and they struggled socially even after they graduated. Thankfully most schools are more aware now of the need for trained counselors.
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