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zebra111
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Tue, Jan 12 2021, 12:53 pm
| farmom wrote: | Not only do I find that my children's personality is already visible as a young baby, even my labors with each expressed the baby's personality 
My babies who were born late, super long labors are total Mommy's kids, and my baby that was born way before I was ready in a super intense labor is my most intense kid, who, from the moment they wake up, is wide awake and moving.
I wonder if anyone else has this experience. |
Yes!! I always say this to dh after each labour -so far im being proven right!
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Kiwi13
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Tue, Jan 12 2021, 3:39 pm
| amother [ OP ] wrote: | | When you all write you had intense babies - what were they doing that you would say they are intense |
From the moment my now-3yo daughter was born, my husband told me she was looking around the OR, totally alert, taking it in, evaluating it, lol. She has very intense facial expressions, she talks A LOT and uses highly descriptive and specific phrases, especially with regard to emotional content. She recently got very upset about having left a stuffed animal in the car because "she was lonely and cold ALL NIGHT!" She's exceptionally loving and and exceptionally smart, but can also be exceptionally manipulative and her tantrums can be FIERCE!!!
This is a photo of her at 3 months old, reacting to the sound of the microwave beeping in another room! In case you might think it's a random one-off, this is actually a repeat so I could get a picture of it. I asked my husband to reset the microwave again so that I capture her face when it beeped, and she made the same face!
She's a wonderful kid, and in case it isn't obvious, I enjoy her VERY VERY MUCH!!
OP, intense doesn't have to mean troubled or needs therapy or makes problems. It can just mean needing some extra emotional regulation skills when they feel very strongly, learning to communicate their needs more calmly, and in my case something we're working on with my daughter is encouraging her not to take the bait when someone (usually her brother) teases her. She's a very well-adjusted kid and very friendly and social. Every personality has its natural strong points and places where it makes things a little more challenging. Just because your baby is also intense doesn't mean he'll have the same struggles as your older child. He might even mellow out a bit as he gets through the infant/toddler years, you never know!
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Chayalle
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Tue, Jan 12 2021, 3:49 pm
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kiwi she's GORGEOUS B"AH!
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Kiwi13
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Tue, Jan 12 2021, 3:55 pm
| farmom wrote: | Not only do I find that my children's personality is already visible as a young baby, even my labors with each expressed the baby's personality
My babies who were born late, super long labors are total Mommy's kids, and my baby that was born way before I was ready in a super intense labor is my most intense kid, who, from the moment they wake up, is wide awake and moving.
I wonder if anyone else has this experience. |
SAME HERE!!! So much to say about this, but can't do it now. It's so cool to read this from another mom who knows her babies' personalities even as newborns!
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amother
Pewter
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Wed, Jan 13 2021, 11:34 am
| amother [ Firebrick ] wrote: | Any advice for me? My ds is nearly 6. It’s such a struggle parenting him sometimes  |
listen to the child.
if he likes go cars and you are next to a place like kids n action take him there all the time to ride on them.
ask what he wants in a toy store. dont say this is not practical, this is messy, this will break in a day, this is too childish. My ten year wanted a play tent. He spent a lot of time in there with orange juice and cokosh cake and layers of quilts with three pillows just to soothe himself.....
if he likes play dough, buy a new pack as soon as the old gets hard and let him play, even if he seems to act younger...even if you have to clean up a mess and some of his clothes get ruined.....
if he likes markers buy the washable and let him use it and use and use it even if shirts or tablecloth or table gets ruined.....
march to his tune... use your intuition. Dont listen to parenting that belongs for the average child.
If he wants to eat cut up apples for dinner every night, just let him... so what if he eats regular meals starting at age 12...
if you need to take him biking to a neighborhood park every single day, do just that....this is not spoiled....trust me.
if he wants to wear the same shirt every day, buy 4 of the same.
if he wants to wear the same pants buy six and use it for shabos and vochen.
if he wants to potchke with glue, buy a gallon and let him potchke every day.
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thunderstorm
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Wed, Jan 13 2021, 11:43 am
| amother [ Lemon ] wrote: | | Intense baby became an intense child. Strong emotions in all extremes. Strong joy, saddness, fear... Lots of fun, lots of work. A delicious girl though, such an amazing soul. |
My daughter is like this as well. I didn’t experience this with my boys. It’s not easy but I love her. She needs lots and lots of validation, hugs , kisses, attention and love. I call her “high maintenance” , because I use so so much energy just for her.
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amother
Puce
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Wed, Jan 13 2021, 7:19 pm
My baby was intense since he was a newborn. He'd only nurse one side at a time and therefore be hungry 2x as often as typical babies. He refused a bottle, and went several months where he wouldn't nurse, unless we were side laying in bed. Sleeping was a nightmare, I had to stand and Rock him to sleep forever, several times through night, and day... He didn't smile, laugh, or babble much.
Babysitters said they can only watch him if I'm fine him crying all day.
Anyways he's he's 4 now and still very rigid, anxious, meltdowns, OCD tendancies. He's also smart, loving, imaginative, and yummy. But it's much easier to work him at this age. He needs lots of though love 💕 but he's constantly improving ב'ה
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amother
Ruby
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Fri, Jan 15 2021, 1:04 am
I don't really understand this definition of "intense baby". All my kids have had different personalities, some more needy/cranky/irritable than others, but nothing I would ever think of to lable my child "intense".
I have one who was in the NICU for weeks after birth. When she finally came home, she refused to let me put her down for several months. Day and night, se needed to be in my arms. She was a twin so this was especially challenging since I had another infant to care for as well. But I didn't consider her intense.
Another child was very strong willed and defiant as a baby. She wanting what she wanted, when she wanted, and she wanted it her way. She often wouldn't let anyone near her except me. But it still never occurred to me to call her intense.
Meanwhile a different child was a very calm and easy going infant, but now she's going through puberty and if I'd ever use the word intense, it would be now. But I wouldn't call her an intense child/young woman, just the stage in life she's going through and all the feelings and hormones that are flooding her body.
So maybe I don't get it because I've never had a truly "intense baby", or maybe because I'm really not into labels. Either way, it's just words. Your baby is who your baby is, and will grow to be the child they will be.
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