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Intense baby = intense child?
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zebra111




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Jan 12 2021, 12:53 pm
farmom wrote:
Not only do I find that my children's personality is already visible as a young baby, even my labors with each expressed the baby's personality Surprised
My babies who were born late, super long labors are total Mommy's kids, and my baby that was born way before I was ready in a super intense labor is my most intense kid, who, from the moment they wake up, is wide awake and moving.

I wonder if anyone else has this experience.


Yes!! I always say this to dh after each labour -so far im being proven right!
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amother




Powderblue
 

Post  Tue, Jan 12 2021, 1:18 pm
I only have two who are now toddlers. The harder baby is more difficult as a toddler (whines more and more likely laasot davka). The easy baby is an easy well behaved toddler.
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amother




Powderblue
 

Post  Tue, Jan 12 2021, 1:21 pm
farmom wrote:
Not only do I find that my children's personality is already visible as a young baby, even my labors with each expressed the baby's personality Surprised
My babies who were born late, super long labors are total Mommy's kids, and my baby that was born way before I was ready in a super intense labor is my most intense kid, who, from the moment they wake up, is wide awake and moving.

I wonder if anyone else has this experience.


Both my labors were short, but my easier baby had a shorter labor. He stayed in the womb for about a week longer than my more difficult baby (both full term though). Does anyone notice a correlation between gestational age at birth and easiness?
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amother




Powderblue
 

Post  Tue, Jan 12 2021, 1:23 pm
Here's another harebrained theory:

For me the one who was difficult at the hospital was very easy when I took him home, and the one who was easy at the hospital was more difficult at home.
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amother




Floralwhite
 

Post  Tue, Jan 12 2021, 1:31 pm
I have 2 girls a year apart. One was an ways laid back baby and has retained that personality. She's 19.the other a year younger cried constantly as a baby. Colicy, wanted to be held,. Was sensitive to temperature change etc and is still needy...emotional, gets very very hot (when others just feel warm) etc.
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amother




Ivory
 

Post  Tue, Jan 12 2021, 1:31 pm
My intense baby is the biggest chiller. My chilled babies are all chillers, too.
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Kiwi13




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Jan 12 2021, 3:39 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
When you all write you had intense babies - what were they doing that you would say they are intense


From the moment my now-3yo daughter was born, my husband told me she was looking around the OR, totally alert, taking it in, evaluating it, lol. She has very intense facial expressions, she talks A LOT and uses highly descriptive and specific phrases, especially with regard to emotional content. She recently got very upset about having left a stuffed animal in the car because "she was lonely and cold ALL NIGHT!" She's exceptionally loving and and exceptionally smart, but can also be exceptionally manipulative and her tantrums can be FIERCE!!!



This is a photo of her at 3 months old, reacting to the sound of the microwave beeping in another room! In case you might think it's a random one-off, this is actually a repeat so I could get a picture of it. I asked my husband to reset the microwave again so that I capture her face when it beeped, and she made the same face!

She's a wonderful kid, and in case it isn't obvious, I enjoy her VERY VERY MUCH!!

OP, intense doesn't have to mean troubled or needs therapy or makes problems. It can just mean needing some extra emotional regulation skills when they feel very strongly, learning to communicate their needs more calmly, and in my case something we're working on with my daughter is encouraging her not to take the bait when someone (usually her brother) teases her. She's a very well-adjusted kid and very friendly and social. Every personality has its natural strong points and places where it makes things a little more challenging. Just because your baby is also intense doesn't mean he'll have the same struggles as your older child. He might even mellow out a bit as he gets through the infant/toddler years, you never know!
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Chayalle




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Jan 12 2021, 3:49 pm
kiwi she's GORGEOUS B"AH!
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Kiwi13




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Jan 12 2021, 3:52 pm
Chayalle wrote:
kiwi she's GORGEOUS B"AH!


Thank you!!!! Heart

Here's a current pic, all grown up (just ask her!)

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Kiwi13




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Jan 12 2021, 3:55 pm
farmom wrote:
Not only do I find that my children's personality is already visible as a young baby, even my labors with each expressed the baby's personality Surprised
My babies who were born late, super long labors are total Mommy's kids, and my baby that was born way before I was ready in a super intense labor is my most intense kid, who, from the moment they wake up, is wide awake and moving.

I wonder if anyone else has this experience.


SAME HERE!!! So much to say about this, but can't do it now. It's so cool to read this from another mom who knows her babies' personalities even as newborns!
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amother




OP
 

Post  Tue, Jan 12 2021, 4:30 pm
Ha, kiwi she's beyond. Thanks for posting.

It seems like all the kids mentioned here with intense personalities are also very bright kh.

I guess why I'm so scared is because we did some damage with older DC before figuring out how to handle the intenseness. DC didn't respond to the usual parenting strategies so we used punishing and yelling often and it caused much damage. Bh that child was young enough when we caught it that we were able to fix much of it. But I'm scared to go through it again.
Scared to mess up another one Crying
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amother




Pewter
 

Post  Wed, Jan 13 2021, 11:34 am
amother [ Firebrick ] wrote:
Any advice for me? My ds is nearly 6. It’s such a struggle parenting him sometimes Sad


listen to the child.

if he likes go cars and you are next to a place like kids n action take him there all the time to ride on them.
ask what he wants in a toy store. dont say this is not practical, this is messy, this will break in a day, this is too childish. My ten year wanted a play tent. He spent a lot of time in there with orange juice and cokosh cake and layers of quilts with three pillows just to soothe himself.....
if he likes play dough, buy a new pack as soon as the old gets hard and let him play, even if he seems to act younger...even if you have to clean up a mess and some of his clothes get ruined.....
if he likes markers buy the washable and let him use it and use and use it even if shirts or tablecloth or table gets ruined.....
march to his tune... use your intuition. Dont listen to parenting that belongs for the average child.
If he wants to eat cut up apples for dinner every night, just let him... so what if he eats regular meals starting at age 12...
if you need to take him biking to a neighborhood park every single day, do just that....this is not spoiled....trust me.
if he wants to wear the same shirt every day, buy 4 of the same.
if he wants to wear the same pants buy six and use it for shabos and vochen.
if he wants to potchke with glue, buy a gallon and let him potchke every day.
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thunderstorm




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Jan 13 2021, 11:43 am
amother [ Lemon ] wrote:
Intense baby became an intense child. Strong emotions in all extremes. Strong joy, saddness, fear... Lots of fun, lots of work. A delicious girl though, such an amazing soul.

My daughter is like this as well. I didn’t experience this with my boys. It’s not easy but I love her. She needs lots and lots of validation, hugs , kisses, attention and love. I call her “high maintenance” , because I use so so much energy just for her.
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amother




Babypink
 

Post  Wed, Jan 13 2021, 4:26 pm
Kiwi13 wrote:
SAME HERE!!! So much to say about this, but can't do it now. It's so cool to read this from another mom who knows her babies' personalities even as newborns!


Fascinating.

I'm curious if you saw a difference already in utero?

I've heard from people who say their more lively kids did more of the kicking and moving around while their more laid back kids were, in general, more laid back in utero too.

I'm currently pregnant with twins (still early) and one, every time I hear the heartbeat it's this loud thump-thump!! The other one has a steady heartbeat but not as feisty. And also lags a little behind in size. I'm wondering if their personalities will follow that... we shall see Smile

First I need to see them through this pregnancy whole and healthy be"h.
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amother




Amethyst
 

Post  Wed, Jan 13 2021, 6:24 pm
My son was an extremely intense baby- always cried, never played himself, banged his head when upset etc. all around really really difficult.
He still is a very intense child, but came a long way with lots of patience bh!
But in school he has always done great- well behaved, bright child. Bh bh
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amother




Maroon
 

Post  Wed, Jan 13 2021, 7:05 pm
Not what you want to hear.
My very intense baby is a very bright intense child.
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amother




Puce
 

Post  Wed, Jan 13 2021, 7:19 pm
My baby was intense since he was a newborn. He'd only nurse one side at a time and therefore be hungry 2x as often as typical babies. He refused a bottle, and went several months where he wouldn't nurse, unless we were side laying in bed. Sleeping was a nightmare, I had to stand and Rock him to sleep forever, several times through night, and day... He didn't smile, laugh, or babble much.

Babysitters said they can only watch him if I'm fine him crying all day.

Anyways he's he's 4 now and still very rigid, anxious, meltdowns, OCD tendancies. He's also smart, loving, imaginative, and yummy. But it's much easier to work him at this age. He needs lots of though love 💕 but he's constantly improving ב'ה
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amother




Cerulean
 

Post  Fri, Jan 15 2021, 12:13 am
Are we using "intense" to mean "highly sensitive"? I'm a highly sensitive person and I'm suspecting my newborn might be as well but she's barely even 2.5 months so I'm assuming too early to tell?

She's extremely fussy with a very LOUD angry cry when she gets upset (it's like a yelling cry, and you can hear the anger). She startles easily.

Kiwi, your baby is adorable! My newbie makes that exact face when I shut the light in the room - I thought all babies do that (she's my first)?

I'm hoping it's a bit premature to determine that my baby will be permanently fussy because supposedly by 12 weeks they can become more settled? At least that's what I'm hanging on to right now....
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amother




Ruby
 

Post  Fri, Jan 15 2021, 1:04 am
I don't really understand this definition of "intense baby". All my kids have had different personalities, some more needy/cranky/irritable than others, but nothing I would ever think of to lable my child "intense".

I have one who was in the NICU for weeks after birth. When she finally came home, she refused to let me put her down for several months. Day and night, se needed to be in my arms. She was a twin so this was especially challenging since I had another infant to care for as well. But I didn't consider her intense.

Another child was very strong willed and defiant as a baby. She wanting what she wanted, when she wanted, and she wanted it her way. She often wouldn't let anyone near her except me. But it still never occurred to me to call her intense.

Meanwhile a different child was a very calm and easy going infant, but now she's going through puberty and if I'd ever use the word intense, it would be now. But I wouldn't call her an intense child/young woman, just the stage in life she's going through and all the feelings and hormones that are flooding her body.

So maybe I don't get it because I've never had a truly "intense baby", or maybe because I'm really not into labels. Either way, it's just words. Your baby is who your baby is, and will grow to be the child they will be.
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amother




Vermilion
 

Post  Fri, Jan 15 2021, 2:25 am
farmom wrote:
Not only do I find that my children's personality is already visible as a young baby, even my labors with each expressed the baby's personality Surprised
My babies who were born late, super long labors are total Mommy's kids, and my baby that was born way before I was ready in a super intense labor is my most intense kid, who, from the moment they wake up, is wide awake and moving.

I wonder if anyone else has this experience.


so funny, I have always reflected with dh about how for our two similarly intense kids I have similarly quick and intense labors. They came in with a bang lol...
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