Treated badly as a customer. Be quiet, or let them know? | Imamother

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Treated badly as a customer. Be quiet, or let them know?

Forum -> Working Women

View latest: 24h 48h 72h

amother

OP

Wed, Jan 13 2021, 6:35 am

So here is the situation.
Without getting into specifics, we were looking to hire someone to do some work for us. Found the woman to be curt, rude, cold, unfriendly, know it all attitude, made me feel stupid for asking questions. All done over the phone. Felt very uncomfortable with her.

Went on to find someone else the exact polar opposite for exact same price. Helpful, understanding, answered questions, a pleasure to deal with, hired that person.

Rude person number one follows up via email to see if we will go through whatever we wanted to hire her for.
Do I ignore her emails? Tell her we went with someone else? (I would never tell her why we did, btw)
Bottom line is she lost the potential job because of her horrible attitude.
WWYD?

3

DrMom

Wed, Jan 13 2021, 6:37 am

You should tell her you went with someone else. It's rude to not give an answer at all.

You don't need to provide a detailed explanation.

31

imasinger

Wed, Jan 13 2021, 6:38 am

Of course tell her that you hired someone else.

Not because she "deserves" it, but because it's the right thing to do.

And if course don't go into why. Not your problem.

17

amother

OP

Wed, Jan 13 2021, 6:41 am

To be more specific, can I answer her email by simply stating that "thank you, but we are not interested at this time?"

Is that enough?
I don't have to tell her we went with someone else, right? No point in making her feel bad..

4

DrMom

Wed, Jan 13 2021, 6:45 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

To be more specific, can I answer her email by simply stating that "thank you, but we are not interested at this time?"

Is that enough?
I don't have to tell her we went with someone else, right? No point in making her feel bad..

If you say "we are not interested at this time," it sounds like you may be interested at a later time, which you clearly are not.

Just tell her you went with another candidate. What's the problem?

Most job applicants appreciate and rightfully expect a straight answer regarding their application status.

19

imaima

Wed, Jan 13 2021, 6:46 am

First of all, I find your title misleading since you did not get an actual service from her. It was just an inquiry.

You were not treated badly yet since you did nkt become a customer. It is proper to follow up and say that you decided against using her services at this point. I don't think they will ask why.

2

11

amother

Scarlet

Wed, Jan 13 2021, 6:46 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

To be more specific, can I answer her email by simply stating that "thank you, but we are not interested at this time?"

Is that enough?
I don't have to tell her we went with someone else, right? No point in making her feel bad..

This is exactly how I'd respond. Say, not interested at this time. Telling her you went with someone else seems like rubbing it in her face which is if no benefit. Hatslacha.

1

imasinger

Wed, Jan 13 2021, 6:58 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

To be more specific, can I answer her email by simply stating that "thank you, but we are not interested at this time?"

Is that enough?
I don't have to tell her we went with someone else, right? No point in making her feel bad..

I think it's okay, and maybe even good, for her to know you hired someone else. If she doesn't feel bad, how's she going to start the process of thinking about her social skills problem? This isn't your concern to solve, but neither is it your concern to protect her fragile ego.

"Thank you for your interest. Our position has been filled; we'll keep your resume on file", or some variation, is a standard response.

12

zaq

Wed, Jan 13 2021, 8:55 am

DrMom wrote:

You should tell her you went with someone else. It's rude to not give an answer at all.

You don't need to provide a detailed explanation.

This.

2

amother

Orchid

Wed, Jan 13 2021, 9:09 am

Why wouldn’t you say something in a nice way?
I’d point out my issue so maybe they’ll learn for the future and treat their customers better.

4

amother

Sienna

Wed, Jan 13 2021, 9:36 am

imaima wrote:

First of all, I find your title misleading since you did not get an actual service from her. It was just an inquiry.

You were not treated badly yet since you did nkt become a customer. It is proper to follow up and say that you decided against using her services at this point. I don't think they will ask why.

Stop gaslighting the op and invalidating and denying what she experienced. She did deal with a very rude worker. She decided not to proceed further but she still dealt with her. The title wasn’t misleading, she just put more details into the post. Not everything can be gleaned from a title.

1

13

amother

Scarlet

Wed, Jan 13 2021, 9:47 am

imaima wrote:

First of all, I find your title misleading since you did not get an actual service from her. It was just an inquiry.

You were not treated badly yet since you did nkt become a customer. It is proper to follow up and say that you decided against using her services at this point. I don't think they will ask why.

Since she didn't ultimately become a customer she wasn't treated badly during her conversations with the company? This logic is bizarre.

1

yksraya

Wed, Jan 13 2021, 9:54 am

I think something along the lines "thank you but we are no longer interested in the service".

1

amother

Ivory

Wed, Jan 13 2021, 9:55 am

I always answer if asked "thanks we are not interested at this time"

no need to rub it in natural consequences they lost your potential business

amother

Floralwhite

Wed, Jan 13 2021, 11:47 am

I’m going to be the odd man out here.

I would respond with a reason. I think it would be helpful for her to know.

Hi,
Thank you so much for taking the time to meet/speak with me last week...
We will be going with another contractor/ vendor at this point. It was really important for me to find someone that I would be able to feel comfortable with for this project and I felt like I was treated a bit rudely at the consult.
You came highly recommended and would maybe revisit an opportunity to work with you in the future.

Once again thanks for your time...

I once had a vendor do work in my home. The entire process was one big frustration. The complete lack of coordination and communication was appalling. They showed up to my house an hour before shabbos when I was away and insisted they needed to drop off their wares...
after the job was complete we thanked the vendor but clearly let him know it was unacceptable and we would never recommend him unless he turns his business around.

I think it would be a favor to the vendor. It may help her not lose customers and reframe her attitude.

1

LittleDucky

Wed, Jan 13 2021, 2:58 pm

I would let them know that you hired someone else. It is not right to leave them hanging or unsure as to where they stand in the application/hiring process. No reason to state why- you don't have the responsibility to fix that person/company. Also, depending on who you hired, saying why you chose A over B could give you potential liability. I don't work in the field so obviously consult an attorney. But if you hired a male instead of female or one race/ethnicity over another might be able to claim that "personality" is just a code word for discrimination.
Short and clear.
"Thank you for your interest in this position. The role has been filled at this time. Have a wonderful day".

3

amother

Vermilion

Wed, Jan 13 2021, 5:16 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

So here is the situation.
Without getting into specifics, we were looking to hire someone to do some work for us. Found the woman to be curt, rude, cold, unfriendly, know it all attitude, made me feel stupid for asking questions. All done over the phone. Felt very uncomfortable with her.

Went on to find someone else the exact polar opposite for exact same price. Helpful, understanding, answered questions, a pleasure to deal with, hired that person.

Rude person number one follows up via email to see if we will go through whatever we wanted to hire her for.
Do I ignore her emails? Tell her we went with someone else? (I would never tell her why we did, btw)
Bottom line is she lost the potential job because of her horrible attitude.
WWYD?

Are you kidding? Tell her!

amother

Babyblue

Thu, Jan 14 2021, 12:21 pm

I would agree to give her the reason as to why you are going with someone else.

amother [ Floralwhite ] wrote:

I’m going to be the odd man out here.

I would respond with a reason. I think it would be helpful for her to know.

Hi,
Thank you so much for taking the time to meet/speak with me last week...
We will be going with another contractor/ vendor at this point. It was really important for me to find someone that I would be able to feel comfortable with for this project and I felt like I was treated a bit rudely at the consult.
You came highly recommended and would maybe revisit an opportunity to work with you in the future.

Once again thanks for your time...

I once had a vendor do work in my home. The entire process was one big frustration. The complete lack of coordination and communication was appalling. They showed up to my house an hour before shabbos when I was away and insisted they needed to drop off their wares...
after the job was complete we thanked the vendor but clearly let him know it was unacceptable and we would never recommend him unless he turns his business around.

I think it would be a favor to the vendor. It may help her not lose customers and reframe her attitude.

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