Mommy, I'll never make you proud. Poem (trigger warning)

amother

Thu, Jan 14 2021, 11:10 am

Delete

Zehava

Thu, Jan 14 2021, 11:18 am

Op is this a flashback?

amother

Thu, Jan 14 2021, 11:29 am

Zehava wrote:

Op is this a flashback?

Yes, but I erased it. I realized it is too heavy for people to read.

Zehava

Thu, Jan 14 2021, 11:34 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Yes, but I erased it. I realized it is too heavy for people to read.

I’m sorry you feel that way. You are not too much. I’m sorry for the abuse you suffered. No child should have to endure that.

amother

Papaya

Thu, Jan 14 2021, 11:40 am

OP it’s not too heavy for those of us who unfortunately live your reality.
We live with that heaviness every moment of each day.
It’s the only reality we know

amother

Bisque

Thu, Jan 14 2021, 11:41 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Yes, but I erased it. I realized it is too heavy for people to read.

I read it. Now words.
💔💔💔💔

amother

Thu, Jan 14 2021, 11:44 am

amother [ Papaya ] wrote:

OP it’s not too heavy for those of us who unfortunately live your reality.
We live with that heaviness every moment of each day.
It’s the only reality we know

I'm so sorry you have to live with that.

amother

Pearl

Thu, Jan 14 2021, 11:47 am

I missed it but sending a hug anyway.
Hug

Be kind to yourself.

thunderstorm

Thu, Jan 14 2021, 12:10 pm

Wish I could have read it. I probably would have been able to relate very much. Sending Hugs your way.

amother

Saddlebrown

Fri, Jan 15 2021, 12:13 pm

I read it ,and you have been in my thoughts since then
No child should ever have to experience anything close to that
I hope you find true healing and inner peace I will be davening for you when I light candles this week

amother

Seashell

Fri, Jan 15 2021, 12:19 pm

I didn't read it, but opened this thread because I too really related to the title. It hurts, so sorry! Hug

amother

Fri, Jan 15 2021, 12:56 pm

amother [ Saddlebrown ] wrote:

I have no words for how caring your comment is. Thank you.

amother

Lilac

Fri, Jan 15 2021, 1:45 pm

What did it say

amother

Springgreen

Wed, Sep 01 2021, 12:40 pm

Attention OP,
your title strongly resonates with me.
I have this thread/tab open for a few days already until I'm taking the courage to ask, if possible,
Any way I can get the poem to read?
Thanks either way, and sending you a tight hug!

FranticFrummie

Wed, Sep 01 2021, 12:44 pm

I didn't get to read the poem, but as you can see from the responses, you are not alone. Hug

amother

Hydrangea

Wed, Sep 01 2021, 12:47 pm

The title is something I strongly feel. Wish I can see the actual poem.

amother

Wed, Sep 01 2021, 12:49 pm

The poem is not relatable to people here. That's why I deleted it. Sorry.

amother

Jade

Sun, Sep 05 2021, 4:35 pm

I needed to read the poem.
That's the reason I opened the thread.
My own pain is unfathomable and I live with the anguish daily.
I send you all the support my broken heart cam muster.
Please repost it.
You can give voice to our silent screams
deep in the night.

amother

Sun, Sep 05 2021, 5:00 pm

Delete.

amother

Moccasin

Sun, Sep 05 2021, 5:03 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

You hold me under, you hold me down,
I'll never survive, I'm going to drown.

My heart pounds my feet shake,
My last breath you're going to take.

I'm soaking wet but cannot feel a thing,
My eyes burn, my head pounds, my ears ring.

Why is it that you hit me so hard with full force,
Your anger and disgust have no remorse.

I cannot think so I don't question,
What I am supposed to learn from this lesson.

What did I say, what did I do?
My last thoughts, mommy, are of you.

I am paralyzed, I am weak,
A single word I cannot speak.

I cannot scream or make a sound,
I'm no longer here, I drowned.

You gave me life and took it away,
Because I sinned in your eyes day after day.

Did you say שמע ישראל for me out loud,
I'll never have the chance to make Mommy proud.

Mommy please I just needed you to love me,
And if you did, maybe things would have turned out differently.

I think this is a nightmare or rather a dream,
I want to cry and to scream.

I'd rather be dead than alive with you,
Because you can not see in me what others do.

But because of you I can not see it either,
That's why the nightmares of you allow me no breather.

Yes, you killed me, I am no more,
I couldn't survive your bloody war.

Beautiful and rings so true. Hugs.