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Forum -> Chinuch, Education & Schooling
How to deal with my 4 year old son



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amother
OP


 

Post Tue, Jan 19 2021, 8:27 am
Throughout the day my son makes a fuss about little things and I would like to know how to deal with it. For now I just try to have patience and let it pass but I feel like it's a little out of hand and it's hard to deal with.

I will give an example. He always likes to get dressed by himself so if he needs help or he put his shirt on the wrong way he gets very upset when I fix it. Or if his sister gets dressed before him he gets very upset at her because he usually is the first one. I feel like he gets irritated very easily by silly things and he needs everything to be just so. Please let me know if you have any ideas on how to deal with this.
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amother
Taupe


 

Post Tue, Jan 19 2021, 8:55 am
Is it always or just sometimes and it feels like always. I think its the age and they need help regulating their emotions at that age. The two things you mentioned I happen to know how to handle even though I have many instances where I don't!
If my kids needs help fixing something or getting dressed I (try to) stay calm and say ok if you need help just let me know and I'll come help you!! then I busy myself with something. This gives them the control they need to try do it themselves and also helps them realize if they need help they just need to ask. The fact that he likew to go first, I think you can approach it a few ways. One by taking turns if this is a huge deal for him then make it official. One thing my child looves when they are arguing over who goes first is to pretend im the morah and looking at a list like they have at school. From what I understand she is very well behaved and loves it by her morah so she would never whine. Then I pretend to look at the list and really just choose who will complain less at that time and if they do complain I say sorry cutie the list says u go first next time!!! Also if his sister doesn't care to get dressed first then maybe just get him dressed first every day?
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amother
OP


 

Post Tue, Jan 19 2021, 9:24 am
amother [ Taupe ] wrote:
Is it always or just sometimes and it feels like always. I think its the age and they need help regulating their emotions at that age. The two things you mentioned I happen to know how to handle even though I have many instances where I don't!
If my kids needs help fixing something or getting dressed I (try to) stay calm and say ok if you need help just let me know and I'll come help you!! then I busy myself with something. This gives them the control they need to try do it themselves and also helps them realize if they need help they just need to ask. The fact that he likew to go first, I think you can approach it a few ways. One by taking turns if this is a huge deal for him then make it official. One thing my child looves when they are arguing over who goes first is to pretend im the morah and looking at a list like they have at school. From what I understand she is very well behaved and loves it by her morah so she would never whine. Then I pretend to look at the list and really just choose who will complain less at that time and if they do complain I say sorry cutie the list says u go first next time!!! Also if his sister doesn't care to get dressed first then maybe just get him dressed first every day?


I feel like it is pretty often. Like anything that doesn't go his way he just cries and kvetches etc. I always tell him to let me know and he does but if I fix it myself after he did it wrong he gets so frustrated. that's a cute idea with the morah:)
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amother
Red


 

Post Tue, Jan 19 2021, 2:53 pm
Try to get him to verbalize his problem instead of getting irritated. “Seems like something is bothering you. Wanna tell me about it?” After that you can have a discussion with him about the size of a problem. There are small problems and big problems. We react accordingly.
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