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Forum
-> Parenting our children
amother
OP
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Tue, Jan 19 2021, 2:13 pm
What has helped u overcome this? I am on it every evening and all day. I am looking more at my phone than in my kid's eyes.
When they come from school I am usually not on it but I want my life back.
Usually sending ppl messages. Calling ppl. Imamother. Emails. And random info on local needs.
I also have a dumbphone but I just can't seem to separate from the smartphone. HELP!!
Are there any books or hotlines or sayings that helped u Chuck ur smartphone down the toilet ha
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yiddishmom
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Tue, Jan 19 2021, 2:17 pm
Put it on Do Not Disturb/ Focus Mode.
You won't see/ hear notifications, which is step 1.
Adn when you decide to grab it and "check just one thing", you'll have to take the extra step of disabling the DND/ Focus Mode - hopefully that will be your reminder that you don't want to be on your phone at the moment, but rather be present with your children.
Good luck!
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amother
Lime
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Tue, Jan 19 2021, 2:29 pm
Same situation here and feel horrible about it!
1st step I did was to put it off limits during work hours, I found myself on my phone so much during work and realized it’s stealing. Next comes to put it away when I come home, it’s so hard!
I’m always saying that I want a dumb phone for at home so I can still call and text but it never happened and again I don’t know if that’s really going to work, I see it’s not working for you.
Following for advice.
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amother
Vermilion
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Tue, Jan 19 2021, 2:41 pm
I leave it in a different room as soon as my kids come home. Or in my pocket book. Basically out of sight for a few hours. From 4-8 no phone! Wait till homework is done and kids are in bed.
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lucky14
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Thu, Jan 21 2021, 11:40 pm
Leave it in your bedroom. Pretend that the battery has died. You should get used to not being on it all the time after a while. I have the same problem and that's what I do.
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hello321
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Fri, Jan 22 2021, 3:56 pm
TURN IT OFF.
It really helps. In the beginning its hard but after a while you don’t even miss it.
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amother
Scarlet
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Fri, Jan 22 2021, 4:16 pm
I needed people to reach me and I needed to be able to call someone if needed. All numbers are stored on my phone so I needed my phone with me. The only answer was to get a dumb phone. I got rid of my smart phone for good. I always have my flip phone since it’s not anything addictive, and I can be reached and I can call ppl.
When I want to go shopping, imamther, reading, news, etc. I wait till my kids are in bed and I go on my iPad or desktop.
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thisone
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Sat, Jan 23 2021, 12:31 pm
http://humanetech.com/take-control has some good tips about greyscale, notifications, etc. (It's not a Jewish site.)
With that said... I'm switching to a dumb phone. I don't want the mental energy of controlling myself. I can get what I need from my computer.
In the past I actually gave my smartphone to my DH (with call forwarding on to my dumb phone) and asked him to keep it at work for a few days. It was amazing to see how much calmer I was without all the distractions!
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amother
Wheat
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Sat, Jan 23 2021, 2:37 pm
I made boundaries with Imamother and other forums because was spending so much time on them! I check them twice a day for around 15 min. It was such a time killer before...
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amother
Peach
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Sat, Jan 23 2021, 3:02 pm
Op,
I know what you mean.
The constant checking was mainly for whatsapp, so I got rid of that. People know they have to call or send a text, I'm not so pressured to check it every 15 minutes now: think voice messages etc. It was really hard. It made me more impulsive. After quitting I really had signs of withdrawal. I quit in November. Yes, I know parenting group etc are on it but it was just too much.
So maybe also for you there is a trigger?
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