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Teenager who is basically eating a vegetarian diet ?
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dancingqueen




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jan 21 2021, 9:19 am
amother [ Saddlebrown ] wrote:
DD deciding she won’t eat chicken or meat either.
She decided to be this extreme after she watched a video showing how animals are shechted.
She’s a very picky eater to begin with. She is also lactose intolerant however I’ve been giving her yogurt and things with cheese and she just has to deal with the consequences.
Once a week I cook a pot of chicken soup with lots of bones. She won’t eat the chicken or vegetable from the soup but she has the broth with some noodles. That’s the extent of her becoming fleishig.
She is low in iron and other vitamins. She is swallowing about 10 pills a day to replace the missing vitamins. She complains about taking all her vitamins but I told her she has no choice if she doesn’t eat well.
Tonight I had chicken and potatoes for supper. I knew some of my kids wouldn’t eat it so I made them pancakes. When dd saw the pancakes she complained that it’s a breakfast food and she wants supper. I offered her the chicken. She chose pancakes. Her loss. I hope one day she matures and will agree to eat all different types of food.


That’s pretty mean.
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DrMom




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jan 21 2021, 9:35 am
elisheva25 wrote:
Op I agree with your approach . I would do the same .

I have a friend who is a vegetarian.

As a girl, her parents used to hold her nose to force her to open her mouth so they could shove chicken inside. She developed bulemia as a teenager and she moved out of the home early so that she could get control over what she eats.

She is a healthy (vegetarian) adult now who does not have a great relationship with her parents.
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amother
Plum


 

Post Thu, Jan 21 2021, 9:47 am
I can't believe people here think giving a lactose intolerant teen dairy products and 'let her deal with the consequences' is normal, sane parenting. In fact, I am aghast.

She is lactose intolerant! A loving parent would find good healthy alternatives for her, not force her to eat things her body can't tolerate.

I have no words.
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Achava




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jan 21 2021, 9:48 am
dancingqueen wrote:
That’s pretty mean.


And how more disordered eating starts. I’m sorry. It breaks trust.
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Achava




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jan 21 2021, 9:49 am
DrMom wrote:
I have a friend who is a vegetarian.

As a girl, her parents used to hold her nose to force her to open her mouth so they could shove chicken inside. She developed bulemia as a teenager and she moved out of the home early so that she could get control over what she eats.

She is a healthy (vegetarian) adult now who does not have a great relationship with her parents.


Yup
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PinkFridge




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jan 21 2021, 9:53 am
I just want to comment on not eating animals after seeing a video about shechita. There are people who go veg. because they don't like certain pollution consequences. Or they avoid veal because of how it's raised. But as far as the humaneness of shechita, read this:

https://www.koshertoday.com/dr.....hita/
https://www.chabad.org/library.....e.htm

There is also a quote I remember from Dr. Grandin from Kashrus Magazine, maybe back in the 90s, that she said after working on designing shechita buildings with Rabbi Heinemann: She felt at peace.
Dr. Grandin has an uncommon empathy for animals and for her to say this means a lot.

https://meatscience.org/docs/d.....rsn=2 (I only skimmed the first few pages. Very interesting.)
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amother
Plum


 

Post Thu, Jan 21 2021, 9:56 am
A few of my kids decided to become vegetarian sometime around age 10-14 (depending on kid) and one of them even became a vegan.

They are mostly all young adults now. The vegan (my son) had some years when he ate mainly junk, but for the past few years he's been quite health conscious. One of my dds is an EXTREMELY picky eater, OCD picky, so not only is she vegetarian, she doesn't eat most foods anyway. I did not force her to eat anything past the age of 10. You can't force a kid; you can encourage and explain.

My in-laws, heavy meat eaters, always warned me that my kids would remain very short and be vitamin deficient, but b'h they all grew to a good height and their blood tests are all normal, even the 20 yr old dd who for 8 years has been eating mainly white rice, potatoes, and cucumbers. (Yes, she knows she needs to branch out). So I wouldn't get hysterical over this.
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amother
Plum


 

Post Thu, Jan 21 2021, 10:03 am
PinkFridge wrote:
I just want to comment on not eating animals after seeing a video about shechita.


Two of my girls went vegetarian after driving behind a vehicle carrying overcrowded animals to slaughter, for hours, on a long road. They were appalled at the cruelty.

The truth is that the meat industry - cows and chicken- is incredibly cruel. They are raised, held, and transported in conditions that are pure tza'ar ba'alei chaim.
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amother
Fuchsia


 

Post Thu, Jan 21 2021, 10:22 am
The only supplement I would do is B12 if it gets low, that is as far as not eating animal products.

If she does not eat fruits & veg, it has nothing to do with the vegeterian part.

That can be found in the my kid is a picky eater how do I sneak in nutrition part.

Fruits in smoothies. Berries are high in nutrition, even as a saucy topping for cake... Veg in pasta, vegeterian tacos, doused in dips & dressings, tehina is very dense nutritionally as someone mentioned upthread, falafel, quiches, veg sushi....buy protein shake powders that have veg and fruit in the mix....
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PinkFridge




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jan 21 2021, 10:42 am
amother [ Plum ] wrote:
Two of my girls went vegetarian after driving behind a vehicle carrying overcrowded animals to slaughter, for hours, on a long road. They were appalled at the cruelty.

The truth is that the meat industry - cows and chicken- is incredibly cruel. They are raised, held, and transported in conditions that are pure tza'ar ba'alei chaim.


That's why I included those links.
I haven't yet got around to listening to Headlines this week. It was about vegetarianism.
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FranticFrummie




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jan 21 2021, 10:48 am
I went veg when I was 12, and stayed that way until I was about 27.

I am so grateful my parents didn't force me! They didn't coddle me, either. They said that they were making ONE dinner, and I was old enough to cook for myself. I could ask if I needed help, but the rest was up to me.

The best things my parents did for me, was to buy me some awesome cookbooks. "The Cabbagetown Cafe", and the "Moosewood" series are incredible, yummy, and really get you excited about cooking. For baking "The James Beard Bread Book" is a classic.

These are all older cookbooks, but they are time tested standards. Who knows, you may find something you like in there as well!

Being supportive and going through recipes together is the best way you can bond with DD, and show her that you respect her.

My parents did a lot of things wrong when I was growing up, but they got this one absolutely right.
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tichellady




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jan 21 2021, 10:50 am
PinkFridge wrote:
I just want to comment on not eating animals after seeing a video about shechita. There are people who go veg. because they don't like certain pollution consequences. Or they avoid veal because of how it's raised. But as far as the humaneness of shechita, read this:

https://www.koshertoday.com/dr.....hita/
https://www.chabad.org/library.....e.htm

There is also a quote I remember from Dr. Grandin from Kashrus Magazine, maybe back in the 90s, that she said after working on designing shechita buildings with Rabbi Heinemann: She felt at peace.
Dr. Grandin has an uncommon empathy for animals and for her to say this means a lot.

https://meatscience.org/docs/d.....rsn=2 (I only skimmed the first few pages. Very interesting.)


Unfortunately there is a lot of animal cruelty before the shechita process begins. I wish it was not this way but it is.
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tichellady




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jan 21 2021, 10:51 am
amother [ Fuchsia ] wrote:
The only supplement I would do is B12 if it gets low, that is as far as not eating animal products.

If she does not eat fruits & veg, it has nothing to do with the vegeterian part.

That can be found in the my kid is a picky eater how do I sneak in nutrition part.

Fruits in smoothies. Berries are high in nutrition, even as a saucy topping for cake... Veg in pasta, vegeterian tacos, doused in dips & dressings, tehina is very dense nutritionally as someone mentioned upthread, falafel, quiches, veg sushi....buy protein shake powders that have veg and fruit in the mix....


Nutritional yeast is great for vitamin b12
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FranticFrummie




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jan 21 2021, 10:56 am
tichellady wrote:
Unfortunately there is a lot of animal cruelty before the shechita process begins. I wish it was not this way but it is.


My ex is a shochet. He got fired from more than a few jobs, because he complained about the mistreatment of the animals.

He doesn't even like animals! Still, he's very concerned about their needs, because they are dependent on us for everything. We have a halachic responsibility to not be more cruel than absolutely necessary.

He wouldn't even make himself a cup of coffee in the morning, without making sure that my dogs' food bowls and water bowls were full.

He's also on the spectrum, and a big fan of Temple Grandin.

(BTW, he shechts kapparos in Stamford Hill every erev YK, so if you want humane treatment of the chickens, try to find out where he's working. PM me if you need his name, I won't post it here.)
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amother
Brown


 

Post Thu, Jan 21 2021, 11:11 am
I am not vegetarian but grew up.with little fleishigs and no dairy. Bh we are all fine. (Now my parents have fleishigs waaayyyy more often) my kids are small still, oldest is 9. I give very little dairy and they don't love meat and chicken so end up by default eating lots of vegetarian things. I think they eat perfectly fine. I would never force someone lactose intolerant to eat dairy, thats really mean. You dont need it to survive. I never had dairy and am perfectly fine.
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amother
Pumpkin


 

Post Thu, Jan 21 2021, 11:27 am
DrMom wrote:
I have a friend who is a vegetarian.

As a girl, her parents used to hold her nose to force her to open her mouth so they could shove chicken inside. She developed bulemia as a teenager and she moved out of the home early so that she could get control over what she eats.

She is a healthy (vegetarian) adult now who does not have a great relationship with her parents.


One of the few things that my over controlling parents were chill about was food and I'm grateful for that. But my they forced my sister's mouth open and stuck a bar of soap in when she lied (not even something terrible or dangerous). She was 5 and I was 4 and I still remember all the screaming, it seemed to last forever.

I hate to be dramatic, but forcing something into someone else's body against their will, is a little like rape.

And I have a terrible relationship with my parents today.
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Debbie




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jan 21 2021, 11:57 am
amother [ Honeydew ] wrote:
Vegetarian just means no meat or poultry. Literally my life until I got married LOL


No fish either, unless someone is pescetarian and then it is just no meat or poultry.
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amother
Aqua


 

Post Thu, Jan 21 2021, 12:13 pm
amother [ Mustard ] wrote:
Any idea why she restricts herself to vegetarian foods? I know someone who did this as a teenager, also a very picky eater with not such healthy tastes, and it turned out to be a form of ocd.

Interesting connection between ocd and picky eater. My 10 yo son with ocd-like symptoms has always been an extremely picky eater. He goes through food obsessions where he’ll eat 2-3 unusual foods almost exclusively. And then switch to a new obsession a few months later. Thanks for making the connection in my mind.
To OP, I agree with the other posters that you really want to avoid the controlling dynamic. It will only lead to anorexia, bulemia, and a poor parent-child relationship. Your child is a teen, old enough to make decisions about what she eats. See if you can take her shopping and find items that are acceptable to both her and you. And make her in charge of preparing/cooking her own meals, if you are unwilling to accommodate in the main family’s meals. But mainly, try to stop focusing on food.
Hatzlacha!
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chanatron1000




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jan 21 2021, 1:14 pm
Sprinkling some chia seeds or ground flax seeds onto salad or adding them into smoothies can add nutrients (including some protein).
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Teomima




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jan 21 2021, 1:19 pm
amother [ Aqua ] wrote:
Interesting connection between ocd and picky eater. My 10 yo son with ocd-like symptoms has always been an extremely picky eater. He goes through food obsessions where he’ll eat 2-3 unusual foods almost exclusively. And then switch to a new obsession a few months later. Thanks for making the connection in my mind.
To OP, I agree with the other posters that you really want to avoid the controlling dynamic. It will only lead to anorexia, bulemia, and a poor parent-child relationship. Your child is a teen, old enough to make decisions about what she eats. See if you can take her shopping and find items that are acceptable to both her and you. And make her in charge of preparing/cooking her own meals, if you are unwilling to accommodate in the main family’s meals. But mainly, try to stop focusing on food.
Hatzlacha!

It wasn't OP who spoke about her overly controlling behavior, that was amother saddlebrown. OP just asked for help and guidance with her teen dd.
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