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Do boys have less intrinsic motivation?

Forum -> Parenting our children -> School age children

View latest: 24h 48h 72h

amother

OP

Thu, Jan 21 2021, 11:54 pm

My son constantly gets prizes and food rewards etc in school.
My girls get very rarely.
Do boys just need that extra motivation, while the girls aim to do well/ please either way?

2

amother

Red

Thu, Jan 21 2021, 11:55 pm

My daughters get a lot of rewards. Sounds school/ teacher specific

3

amother

Salmon

Fri, Jan 22 2021, 7:56 am

Boys are given more prizes because more is expected from them in school

I also once heard that since girls have no chiyuv to learn they have no Yetzer Hora not to.

Godal Hamtzuvah V'oshe...

1

2

amother

Jade

Fri, Jan 22 2021, 8:18 am

I think the girls school are better run so they don’t need to constantly dangle prizes over the students.

5

amother

Lime

Fri, Jan 22 2021, 8:24 am

I don't believe that they do.
I have taught both middle school boys and middle school girls. In the morning hours (with the rebbeim), the boys are showered with (mostly edible) prizes constantly. You did your gemara sheet? Here's a bag of corn nuts. Good answer in class? Here's a can of soda. Class behaved nicely for a couple weeks? Pizza party.
The girls do get rewards, but not anywhere near as often, and they are held to a much higher standard. I find that the boys often are rewarded for default behavior (doing the work. For heaven's sake, this is middle school! It's like rewarding a 10 year old for going to the bathroom and not wetting himself!) and this isn't as apparent with the girls.
I currently teach middle school boys in the afternoon. I have extremely high expectations of my students, and I reward them with praise when warranted and my respect always. I have a small number of contests (reading books, mostly) for which they get rewarded with homework passes and extra points on tests.
I think many in boys' school administrations in mainstream yeshivas don't feel that they can ask as much from boys as they can from girls. I'm not sure why this is. I ask my students to be responsible and do their best work, and I nearly always get it. I expect proper behavior, and I get it.
Perhaps this attitude is why there are so many husbands who are passive/losers/can't hold down a job, etc. They're waiting to be rewarded with their soda or pizza party.

8

HonesttoGod

Fri, Jan 22 2021, 8:36 am

I think it has to do with trying to get the boys excited to spend all day sitting and learning.
Girls generally have a lighter schedule , my niece has way more playtime than my son of the exact same age.

2

amother

Navy

Fri, Jan 22 2021, 9:17 am

I'm guessing that, unfortunately, male teachers are less likely than female teachers to have solid pedagogical skills. So they have to rely on incentives.

Generally, boys do as well as girls in co-ed settings.

6

amother

Pewter

Fri, Jan 22 2021, 9:37 am

Its school specific. I find it just the opposite here.

Girls have 1 major performance per year. + little things here or there throughout the year.
Like this Thursday my 2nd grader didn't have her weekly vocabulary test because they were practicing for a performance they put on for the rest of the grade (16! parallel classes). And it's the second time this year.

They have fun programs, art as part of the curriculum. Knitting/needlepoint/sewing depending in the grade. after school art once a week too (if you sign up early enough at no additional charge)
School is fun.

Boys? Nada! My 7 yo nephew is expected to sit and learn all day. And all 3 boys schools here are like this. The school my sister sends to (that my sons will likely attend too) is already the least old fashioned of all the others. I think it's really sad for those little boys. I plan to take my kid out on sundays every 2-3 weeks to do some fun things.
Oh and boys have school on sundays too. Girls don't.

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Forum -> Parenting our children -> School age children

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