My 4 week old wakes up every hour!

amother

Sun, Jan 24 2021, 5:26 am

He’s been doing this since birth. I’m going nuts from tiredness. He eats a few minutes, falls asleep and then refuses to eat more. I try to wake him up but it doesn’t last. Then when I try putting him down h wakes up and we start all over again. He doesn’t take a paci a d hates the swaddle so I have no way to get him back to sleep. He has never fallen asleep on his own without nursing or major rocking.

Please help!

FranticFrummie

Sun, Jan 24 2021, 5:31 am

This is very normal for a newborn. They've only been outside the womb for 4 weeks, they don't have life figured out yet!

Babies that young don't have a sleep schedule. Nursing is hard work, and tiring. It wears them out so they fall asleep, and then they're hungry again. Rinse, repeat.

Do you have the baby next to your bed? If so, it will make things a lot easier for you if you don't have to get up and go down the hall to get him all the time. You can nurse while you are half asleep, and when he falls asleep you can set him down.

Keep telling yourself "This won't last forever!"

If you start to feel like you are going to snap, consider pumping for bottles, and hire a night nurse so you can get some sleep.

amother

Sun, Jan 24 2021, 7:27 am

notshanarishona

Sun, Jan 24 2021, 7:29 am

Have you tried rocking him back to sleep without nursing? He might eat better if he has a chance to get hungry.

amother

Sun, Jan 24 2021, 7:37 am

notshanarishona wrote:

Have you tried rocking him back to sleep without nursing? He might eat better if he has a chance to get hungry.

I’ve tried everything to get him to sleep. Nothing works. He fights it for hours. And then when he does fall asleep, more often than not as soon as I put him down he starts waking up.

ra_mom

Sun, Jan 24 2021, 7:37 am

Is there a history of reflux in the family at all?

amother

Tan

Sun, Jan 24 2021, 7:44 am

There are some wonderful sleep consultants that can help you train your infant... though 4 weeks is prob a bit too early.

amother

Sun, Jan 24 2021, 7:50 am

ra_mom wrote:

Is there a history of reflux in the family at all?

Yes my last baby had reflux but was so much better at sleeping than him. Also I asked the pediatrician about reflux when I took him last and he said it’s too early for that.

camp123

Sun, Jan 24 2021, 7:56 am

Personally I would put him to sleep on his stomach.
But ask you Dr.

amother

Sun, Jan 24 2021, 8:10 am

camp123 wrote:

Personally I would put him to sleep on his stomach.
But ask you Dr.

I already do and it’s not helping. He seems to hate it because he wakes up crying when he’s on his stomach. But on his back he’s fidgeting the whole time.

PS , he sleeps much better by day (longer) but still will never just lay in his swing or bassinet and fall asleep. He needs active help. And he refuses a pacifier so sometimes I’m helpless because I can’t keep nursing. And I don’t want him to develop bad sleep habits.

amother

Cerise

Sun, Jan 24 2021, 8:10 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I have a colicky ten week old so I feel you. I'll mention a few things but please forgive me if you've already tried them. I know how frustrating it is when people suggest that you do things that you've already done and you're losing your mind.

My baby couldn't take normal swaddles but loves Love to Dream Swaddle Ups. These allow the babies to move their hands but also prevent them from startling themselves awake when they startle.

I would undress baby for feeding (except diaper!) during the day. This helped to keep my baby awake for a full feed.

The more tired baby is, the more difficult it is to get them to sleep. For me that meant that during the day I let baby sleep on me or while I'm wearing baby (and doing things) instead of fighting to get baby to sleep in crib. This way I had something to work with for night sleep and it actually helped. (I still have to address day naps properly, but we're getting there....) I know it's not great and we're supposed to be training them to take naps properly in crib yadda yadda, well I challenge anyone to put my baby down for naps during the day and come over and take the night shift too.

It's definitely okay at this stage to try to rock or nurse baby to sleep in my opinion, but I have a colicky one. If you want to see if you can put baby down awake but tired, maybe try earlier than whenever you're doing? (30 minutes after baby last woke up?) At that age, my baby had to be put down no later than 45 minutes after waking.

I was nursing/rocking mine to sleep every time until very recently. Maybe after eight weeks I saw some more regular success with putting baby down awake. I'm not sure if I could've started earlier. One time I had to use the bathroom for two minutes and baby was either kvetching or crying. By the time I was finished (seriously not more than three minutes) baby stopped. I had grown so used to jumping to get baby, I never even gave baby a chance. Last couple of nights I put baby down awake and left the room. Baby was quiet, looking around bedroom. Ten minutes later, baby starts kvetching. I told myself wait three minutes. I did, baby went to sleep after a few minutes.

I switched beds so DH was closer to baby. I think this made a huge difference. If baby is in your room, they can smell us and the breast milk.

Our issue was more colick and less an eating thing, so maybe consult a lactation consultant before taking this advice, but I might consider not offering to feed baby in under 2.5 overnight. Baby needs to start getting hungry and not taking small snacks.

All that said, it could be there's nothing else you can do. Some of our babies are more difficult than others. They told me it gets better after 6 weeks and then again after 12 weeks. I can't say for sure because I don't remember anything from before 6 weeks. But we had a few miraculous nights this past week when baby slept for 5-7 hours in a row. (Last couple of nights back to every few hours, but that's still better than other nights!)

Oh right, and what everyone says (but makes me roll my eyes when not possible), get someone else to take the baby! Just hang in there. I'm promised we'll get some sleep eventually.

amother

Papaya

Sun, Jan 24 2021, 8:14 am

Try changing his pamper in order to wake him to eat

Also my last baby had reflux it came out when he was around 2-3 weeks. Obvious signs are spitting up a lot, arching back, arms feel very stiff and tight

amother

Sun, Jan 24 2021, 8:17 am

amother [ Cerise ] wrote:

Thank you so much for this. Just the validation is helpful.

Regarding spacing feeds, I would do it but then I’ll have an awake and cranky baby. I have no other way of getting him back to sleep. Also, I never know when to ignore the baby stirring and waking up and when to feed. As soon as I hear babu getting up and starting to kvetch I take him out to feed. Should I be waiting a few minutes to see if he falls back asleep?

amother

Sun, Jan 24 2021, 8:18 am

amother [ Papaya ] wrote:

He doesn’t spit up a lot. He fidgets a lot while nursing but I think it’s more gas issues than reflux. Also maybe when the milk is coming too fast. How can I know the reason why?

Frumme

Sun, Jan 24 2021, 8:32 am

Cerise is giving really good advice.

What I would say along with everything she said:

Is it possible something is bothering him? Does he have a lot of gas? Give mylicon drops, check your latch, cycle his legs, make sure he's burping. Or is it possible he has a protein allergy? I'm the last one to suggest an elimination diet when nursing but protein allergies (e.g. to milk or egg), although rare, can really upset a newborn. I would ask your pediatrician if s/he thinks it might be that and how to proceed.

If he has colic, try baby wearing him during the day as often as possible. IIRC, there are studies that say baby wearing helps decrease the length of colicky episodes at night.

Also, really try to keep swaddling. Most babies hate it but still need it. Just make sure to only swaddle when they're sleeping on their back (tummy swaddle is dangerous).

Right now don't worry about bad sleep habits. Your main issue right now is finding out how to get your baby to sleep and stay asleep, for your sake especially.

amother

Cerise

Sun, Jan 24 2021, 9:13 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I've got to be the last person to advise on when to pick baby up because I only recently discovered I was doing it too often. (I know people are going to say there's no too often, but in my case, when I was probably waking baby up when they would've just gone back to sleep, it was probably too often.)

I understand the desire to pick up baby immediately because I just want to be there for baby and I'm scared of baby escalating. I think there's a hormone in us that's making us run grab our babies but in my case I think I overdid it. If your baby is just kvetching a bit, maybe test and see what happens if you wait two minutes. If baby starts escalating to crying, then I would pick them up, but if they're just kvetching (pauses in between, not actually crying) I'd test and see where it goes. My baby actually sometimes fusses during sleep and I learned that actually a lot of babies do during REM. Ultimately you know your baby better than anyone else so do what feels comfortable for the two of you.

Your baby sounds a bit like mine tbh. Lots of kicking around, unsettled, gas issue. We used biogaia probiotics and they helped a lot, I think. Our babies' digestive systems just aren't developed yet.

If you think you have a strong letdown that can be contributing (I did) then maybe lean back on a rocking chair (or reclining chair) when you start feeding. That way it doesn't pour out as forcefully.

amother

Peach

Sun, Jan 24 2021, 9:59 am

That is so frustrating.
It is important (and more in your control) for you, the mom, to be calm and well taken care of. Babies can sense when we are stressed out, and it rubs off on them. Nothing will happen if your baby cries for a minute or two. (To be clear, im not advocating that your baby shouldn’t be attended to when he is distressed.)
In short, make sure that you eat well and shower, and take care of whatever your own needs are,so that you can be relaxed and present when it’s time to care for your baby.
I know it’s easier said than done, but put in the effort- take good care of your baby’s Mommy!!

tichellady

Sun, Jan 24 2021, 10:25 am

My baby didn’t sleep at night for a long time and I feel for you. It’s very hard! No advice except try to get someone to watch baby during the day so you can nap. This is somewhat normal for a baby this age but very hard for mama

amother

Navy

Sun, Jan 24 2021, 10:29 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

My babies did sleep much better on their stomach. By a certain age they simply couldn't sleep on their backs at all.

Most newborns need to be rocked or nursed to sleep. Some fall asleep on their own, but not the majority. Once they get older they can be taught to do this. It's really not expected as a newborn at all.

I find that cosleeping is very helpful for my newborns. Read about how to do it safely. But it eliminates the need to put the baby down after nursing, since he's already in the right position. Once he's in a deep sleep he will loosen his latch and you can go back to sleep yourself.

amother

Sun, Jan 24 2021, 11:25 am

tichellady wrote:

I can’t send out a 4 week old and my dh acts all helpless when I ask him to take care of the baby.