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Covid and shalom bayis disagreement
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amother




OP
 

Post Tue, Jan 26 2021, 8:46 pm
Hi, a few of my kids have small but bad coughs. My dh is in denial that it could be covid, and doesn't want to test. Yes, it's true it might be regular winter cough, but don't we have a responsibility to test in a year like this one?
I'm feeling terribly guilty.
Wwyd!!??

I've been trying to speak to him civilly, because getting all emotional won't help.

He is super anti covid, in the sense that he doesn't think we should test, etc.
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HonesttoGod




 
 
 
 

Post Tue, Jan 26 2021, 8:51 pm
If he doesn't want to be tested that is fine.
If he doesn't want to take them to be tested, also fine.
Will he not let you leave the house if you want to take them?

I know many couples are having a hard time with opposite opinions I don't think there is a one size fits all answer though.
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amother




Tan
 

Post Tue, Jan 26 2021, 8:54 pm
Why doesn't he want to test?
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nechamashifra




 
 
 
 

Post Tue, Jan 26 2021, 9:08 pm
Why do you need his permission?
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amother




Jade
 

Post Tue, Jan 26 2021, 9:10 pm
nechamashifra wrote:
Why do you need his permission?


Fiy its his kids as well!
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amother




Floralwhite
 

Post Tue, Jan 26 2021, 9:15 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Hi, a few of my kids have small but bad coughs. My dh is in denial that it could be covid, and doesn't want to test. Yes, it's true it might be regular winter cough, but don't we have a responsibility to test in a year like this one?
I'm feeling terribly guilty.
Wwyd!!??

I've been trying to speak to him civilly, because getting all emotional won't help.

He is super anti covid, in the sense that he doesn't think we should test, etc.


So play it both ways. Don't test, but quarantine them for the requisite amount of time.
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amother




Tan
 

Post Tue, Jan 26 2021, 9:16 pm
amother [ Jade ] wrote:
Fiy its his kids as well!


Can you explain why someone would not allow his kids to be tested? Do these people also refuse flu swabs?
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amother




Floralwhite
 

Post Tue, Jan 26 2021, 9:19 pm
amother [ Tan ] wrote:
Can you explain why someone would not allow his kids to be tested? Do these people also refuse flu swabs?


If the kids test positive, his whole theory that Covid is a hoax goes out the window.
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amother




Cerulean
 

Post Tue, Jan 26 2021, 9:20 pm
I agree with your DH. Unless they had known exposure to covid, I think it's ridiculous to test your child every time they come up with a cold/cough. It's the winter. That's what happens. All the pre-covid viruses are still out there.

Eta: I wouldn't test my kid for the flu either if they had those symptoms without known exposure or worsening symptoms, I.e. fever, very cranky, etc.
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amother




Jade
 

Post Tue, Jan 26 2021, 9:25 pm
amother [ Cerulean ] wrote:
I agree with your DH. Unless they had known exposure to covid, I think it's ridiculous to test your child every time they come up with a cold/cough. It's the winter. That's what happens. All the pre-covid viruses are still out there.

Eta: I wouldn't test my kid for the flu either if they had those symptoms without known exposure or worsening symptoms, I.e. fever, very cranky, etc.


This! Its winter for heavens sake. Just put some saline in their nose
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gingleale




 
 
 
 

Post Tue, Jan 26 2021, 9:25 pm
You need to test them or keep them home from school until all their symtpoms are gone for at least 10 days. It isn't fair to the other kids.
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forever21




 
 
 
 

Post Tue, Jan 26 2021, 9:59 pm
[quote="gingleale"]You need to test them or keep them home from school until all their symtpoms are gone for at least 10 days. It isn't fair to the other kids.[/quote
Keep them home until all their symptoms are gone ?? If I kept my kids home every time they coughed we’d be on zoom all year . I think you’re being a bit extreme
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amother




Tan
 

Post Tue, Jan 26 2021, 10:00 pm
forever21 wrote:

Keep them home until all their symptoms are gone ?? If I kept my kids home every time they coughed we’d be on zoom all year . I think you’re being a bit extreme


Which is why people test their kids. Everyone in my school would test a child with a bad cough or keep them home.
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amother




Green
 

Post Tue, Jan 26 2021, 10:04 pm
[quote="forever21"]
gingleale wrote:
You need to test them or keep them home from school until all their symtpoms are gone for at least 10 days. It isn't fair to the other kids.[/quote
Keep them home until all their symptoms are gone ?? If I kept my kids home every time they coughed we’d be on zoom all year . I think you’re being a bit extreme

That's if you aren't testing them.
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imasinger




 
 
 
 

Post Tue, Jan 26 2021, 10:12 pm
It's one thing to get both parents to agree on something significant, like medication or what school to apply to.

But this is just getting a quick test.

It's easier sometimes to ask forgiveness than permission. I'd advise just taking them to be tested, and telling him afterwards, "I know you don't approve, but I just couldn't live with myself knowing there was a chance they could have it and be spreading it."

Honestly, if he's that controlling that you can't follow what you think is right, you might want to consider looking more at the marriage issues.
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mom!




 
 
 
 

Post Tue, Jan 26 2021, 10:26 pm
Check with the pediatrician. He/she is someone you obviously trust as you chose them as your children’s doctor.
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amother




Lemon
 

Post Tue, Jan 26 2021, 11:00 pm
I'm wondering if dh doesn't want to get quarantined. As long as it's just cold symptoms if it passes, it passes. And if it's a PCR test, then even if it's negative, that's a two to three day quarantine for many people. If you take them, OP, go somewhere with the quickest turnaround you can find that's reliable. And I would tell dh first- not ask, but tell. His office may have rules.
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hodeez




 
 
 
 

Post Tue, Jan 26 2021, 11:08 pm
Winter hasn't been cancelled, kids are allowed to cough when it's 20 degrees out
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amother




Sienna
 

Post Tue, Jan 26 2021, 11:12 pm
[quote="forever21"]
gingleale wrote:
You need to test them or keep them home from school until all their symtpoms are gone for at least 10 days. It isn't fair to the other kids.[/quote
Keep them home until all their symptoms are gone ?? If I kept my kids home every time they coughed we’d be on zoom all year . I think you’re being a bit extreme


I’ve been testing my kids for every sniffle and we are frequently on Zoom. It’s not fun, but the school community is committed to keeping things safe...
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amother




Ruby
 

Post Tue, Jan 26 2021, 11:24 pm
My kids had colds 3 times since summer. I tested them/myself for 2 of those colds - neither one was Covid-19. All were mild.

So honestly, no. I don't think you need to test for every cold, even a bad one, especially if they are young (like less than 9). I wouldn't send to school on the days that they are coughing or snotting. And I'd keep them away from old/known vulnerable people.
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