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What are you finding the most painful?
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Poll

What are you finding the most stressful?
Losing a loved one  
 29%  [ 31 ]
Watching loved ones ignore safety protocols  
 16%  [ 18 ]
Not seeing a loved one  
 53%  [ 57 ]
Total Votes : 106


amother




OP
 

Post Sun, Jan 31 2021, 9:08 am
During these crazy times, what are you finding most painful - from these three:
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southernbubby




 
 
 
 

Post Sun, Jan 31 2021, 9:37 am
My son in law, who lives in NY, lost his father a few hours ago from other causes but he wasn't able to visit him before he passed away.
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amother




Aqua
 

Post Sun, Jan 31 2021, 11:55 am
I lost a sibling shortly before Pesach last year due to an illness other than covid-19. I had to say goodbye to my beloved sibling over the phone. We had a Zoom levaya and shiva. My family was unable to be in the same room together to support each other at the time. When we were able to see each other outside, socially distanced and masked, we weren't able to give hugs of comfort.

We're coming up on the yartzheit and it has been a really hard year. So many people have suffered losses and so many other people are cavalier about taking basic precautions. My extended family has been careful and B"H we haven't had covid-19 but it's been hard on all of us. We definitely have a certain amount of anger or disdain for people who are selfishly pretending coronavirus doesn't exist and who are making life more difficult for everyone else. At least some of us have been able to get vaccinated already and the rest of us will just have to wait until we're able to do so.
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Jewishmom8




 
 
 
 

Post Sun, Jan 31 2021, 12:03 pm
it is not on your list but watching my children suffer and deteriorate because of the lockdowns.
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amother




Jade
 

Post Sun, Jan 31 2021, 12:04 pm
Feeling completely alone in trying to stay safe, knowing that my mask alone is not enough if no one else bothers to try.

Knowing that if I die, the reaction will be "see? masks don't work... anyway, she has a history of..." and that would be that.
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amother




Blush
 

Post Sun, Jan 31 2021, 12:07 pm
The fighting over here about it. BH no close relatives passed. Kids are in school. But every time I see arguing here about Covid it makes me sad.
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amother




Puce
 

Post Sun, Jan 31 2021, 12:13 pm
It's not on the list.
But watching my daughter's anxiety and OCD take her on an uncontrollable downward spiral that I just hope and pray we can come back from.
Her regular therapists are only available remotely since March, and other therapists we've consulted have made the OCD and anxiety worse by supporting the mask, SD, sanitize cycle in crazy extremes.
It hurts that I'm being criticized when I scale back the restrictions in my home, set mask and sanitizer limits and try to work on creating a normal life and then my daughter gets called "murderer" by a neighbor and we're back on the spiral.


It hurts watching a different child's deterioration. He is eligible and needs lots of services, but because he's frequently in the hospital, he's labeled both too risky for him and therapists for in person therapy. He only gets Zoom.
He doesn't get the benefit, and I'm watching his deterioration and wondering if he'll ever be able to relearn those emerging swallowing skills, and will he ever crawl or walk, or is a full year of no meaningful therapy going to cause shriveled muscles and limbs.
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amother




Firebrick
 

Post Sun, Jan 31 2021, 12:18 pm
Not on the list but seeing people using covid as an excuse for being rude and cruel to each other both online and in real life.

Covid-19 has killed thousands of humans
And all of humanity with it.
It has created divisions and disagreements.
It has turned man against man with disastrous results.
We now give each other suspicious looks instead of friendly smiles.
We hurt each other in the name of safety and under the guise of good.
We can no longer differentiate between good and evil

We need to protect ourselves, we reason.
Our safety trumps everything, we say
Isn’t that what “good” is all about?
Health and safety is undeniably important
But we are entirely missing the mark
Intelligence and common sense have completely flown out the window.
We have been stripped of our privacy and freedom.
We have become judgmental and cruel
All in the name of “good”.
We have become hateful to each other.
We point fingers and accuse

The transition has been slow and insidious
Gone are compassion, sensitivity, and generosity
Each man for himself has become the new norm
We can see how far we have fallen
When the man that came within 5.5 feet or you is condemned
While you are the “good one” after cursing at him.
Remember those days when we used to be polite to strangers at the grocery store?
Now we aren’t embarrassed to shoot off a nasty remark to the lady whose mask slipped off her nose.
Look what we have become!

How about those power hungry individuals - store clerks, secretaries at doctors offices or government offices, etc
That delight in creating unnecessary restrictions not required by law and then mercilessly enforcing then to the fullest extent.
You are despicable and low.
It’s not ok to create misery because you need an ego boost.

What is the solution you may ask?
I an no expert but I know this:
If we rewrite the definition of “good” we may as well be dead.
We, humans, pride ourselves on being the highest form of life.
Well, if we remove the “humanity” then what is left to being “human”?
We are no better than animals.
We are proud of our contributions to the world.
But what good is all of that if we are simultaneously leaving destruction in our wake?

Humans have been able to get so far, but not alone.
Humans have worked together as a team
To build
To conquer
To discover
To create
The key word here is “Together”
So then why are we attacking each other to bring Covid-19 to an end?

Yes we need our scientists and our doctors
But more so we need to work together.
We need to support each other and RESPECT each other.
And that my friends is the only way to win this war
We CAN do it if keep our humanity intact.
Yes, let’s be careful but let’s also remember to care
Let’s do away with the paranoia and inhumane behavior (spoiler- it doesn’t prevent covid)
Let’s remember that we are better than this!
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#Happymom




 
 
 
 

Post Sun, Jan 31 2021, 12:20 pm
amother [ Blush ] wrote:
The fighting over here about it. BH no close relatives passed. Kids are in school. But every time I see arguing here about Covid it makes me sad.


This is sad.

Somehow COVID has become another painful wedge between us jews and somehow this tiny virus has been successful in driving us further apart from each other.
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amother




Coral
 

Post Sun, Jan 31 2021, 12:31 pm
Knowing that people aren’t able to be with their loved ones if they’re dying from whatever, corona or other. In 2020 who would have thought that a plane ride into Israel would be impossible, or to get into a local hospital room would be impossible. My heart goes out to everyone in these situations. I can not imagine.
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amother




Slateblue
 

Post Sun, Jan 31 2021, 1:35 pm
The disrespect and disregard of healthcare workers and other essential workers on this site.
The sense of entitlement.
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amother




Brunette
 

Post Sun, Jan 31 2021, 1:58 pm
It hurts to be severely ill with Covid and have people not believing you or asking if it’s because you had preexisting conditions.
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amother




Chartreuse
 

Post Sun, Jan 31 2021, 2:18 pm
marriages because husband and wife cant agree on masks etc..
dating couples that cant meet because of border issues.
shidduchim that have been pushed off.
dating couples that dont agree on covid in general- yes I have seen 4 examples of this up close. They had such differences of opinion they decided not to marry.
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amother




Black
 

Post Sun, Jan 31 2021, 3:43 pm
Seeing my kids (teens) go on their screens all day. It's too cold to be outside, everything is closed and they can't see their friends. One of my kids manages to balance things out, she'll bake or play piano but my 13 year old is not interested in anything other than her iPhone and iPad. Help!
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amother




Hotpink
 

Post Sun, Jan 31 2021, 6:07 pm
Who are we talking about? My parents passed away years ago. They were in their late 80s and their minds and bodies were calling it quits for quite some time, so their deaths were no surprise, but that didn't make it less painful. Were their deaths more painful than watching them disappear inch by inch over several years? Hardly. Grief is grief--you can have it strung out or you can have it concentrated. I did most of my mourning while they were not dead but dying. They died over a matter of years, bit by painful bit, and we lost them long before their bodies and souls parted company.

OTOH if G-d forbid a child or grandchild were to be lost, how could you possibly compare that to simply not seeing them for a very long time? We have phones, we have facetime or Zoom, we can write letters if we lack technology, we can send pictures. Back in the day, let's say the 194Os,when hardly anyone had a phone in Israel, many households in the US didn't have phones, and to cross the Atlantic you spent a week on a ship, if you had family in Israel you were lucky if you got to see them once or twice in a lifetime unless you were very well off. You made do with pictures and letters, and telegrams for major life events (births and deaths, basically.)

Seeing loved ones go OTD is painful. Seeing loved ones ignore safety protocols is nerve-wracking, not painful. It's only painful if they get sick. Again, how can you compare seeing someone get moderately sick (not ICU sick, not ventilator sick, not brace yourself for the worst sick, just sick sick) with having them die?
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amother




Royalblue
 

Post Sun, Jan 31 2021, 6:57 pm
The absolute confusion, lack of one diffinitive point of view on how to handle this pandemic, and machlokes in klal yisrael have to be added to the options!
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amother




Cerise
 

Post Sun, Jan 31 2021, 7:02 pm
Not on your list, but as others mentioned. My mother was confined to a rehab before this happened. The lack of visitors during the shut down made her condition deteriorate. It hurts me that we weren't able to keep her company during her last months and to imagine how lonely she was which must have made her lose her will to hang on.
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SixOfWands




 
 
 
 

Post Sun, Jan 31 2021, 7:54 pm
Seeing my husband struggle with the fact that his baby brother is gone.
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GetReal




 
 
 
 

Post Sun, Jan 31 2021, 8:01 pm
The losses of close family members.
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amother




Denim
 

Post Sun, Jan 31 2021, 9:30 pm
Knowing that my grandmother is alone in her nursing home room. No visitors allowed and not knowing when we can see her next.
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