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Please help me be a better mother when I’m exhausted
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amother




OP
 

Post Wed, Feb 03 2021, 10:37 am
FranticFrummie wrote:
'

Gummies don't give a reliable amount, depending on digestion.

https://il.iherb.com/pr/NutraL.....70968

This is what you want. 1mg can be broken in half, kosher, made for children.

DD had me in TEARS on a near daily basis when she was 4. I can't even tell you how many times I questioned my sanity, my ability to parent, and what I was going to do next. She wouldn't eat anything I made, she wouldn't sleep, she was making me crazy!

I can't help you with the picky eating phase, but the melatonin did wonders. Her pediatrician said that 1/2 mg is not enough to make a problem for long term, because her body was not creating enough melatonin on it's own. We took breaks from it on weekends and holidays, and didn't use it during the summer. It was just to keep her on school schedule.

When she felt that she was getting overtired and it was close to bedtime, she would come to me and ask for it! She felt so much better when she could fall asleep easily. She used it for a couple of years, but eventually weaned herself off.

Another thing to think about. Take your older kids to an ENT, and have their tonsils checked. They may be harboring "silent strep", and getting tonsils out can make a world of difference. Once DD had her tonsils out she became the sweetest, most cheerful child you could ever meet. It was like someone gave me my child back! It was actually around that time that she started tapering off on her melatonin, so I think that they may have been somewhat related.


My daughter is just like that with food as well- very picky eater and won’t touch any chicken, meat, even sandwiches or most dinners I make. So she basically asks for food or snacks all day because she lives on cereal, yogurt, apple, cucumber, avacados, and maybe a few bites of soup, noodles, or fish sticks. She has a major sweet tooth and loves candy, cookies and sweets which we of course limit as much as we possibly can at home.
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imaima




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Feb 03 2021, 10:40 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
My daughter is just like that with food as well- very picky eater and won’t touch any chicken, meat, even sandwiches or most dinners I make. So she basically asks for food or snacks all day because she lives on cereal, yogurt, apple, cucumber, avacados, and maybe a few bites of soup, noodles, or fish sticks. She has a major sweet tooth and loves candy, cookies and sweets which we of course limit as much as we possibly can at home.


It sounds like maybe she is slightly undernourished in a way that she may not get certain nutirients and can get nervous ans irritable as a result.

I started giving my kids multivitamins with zink, which is supposed to help develop a healthy appetite.

I see a change in my kids, the pre-teens are less crabby and a younger kid is eating much more of regular foods.

But also keep in mind that all kids go slightly crazy now from the lockdown etc.
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amother




OP
 

Post Wed, Feb 03 2021, 10:43 am
Good Friend wrote:
Looks like you got lots of ideas to try out.
Just a tip that I got from a sleep coach for my 3 year old that might help your 4 year old because you said he tries everything to push off going to sleep- every night I give her 3 coins (I use toy coins but can be anything). Once we say shema and she's in her bed if she wants anything she has to pay with a coin. For example a drink of water, a story, a hug, to switch to different pajamas (I don't know what your son's tactics are but these are my daughter's typical ones). As long as she pays she gets it, but when the 3 coins are finished the answer is no (unless she needs the bathroom, that's allowed). It seems to be working for her. She usually uses all 3 coins (usually for the same story 3 times lol) and then she settles down and lays quietly till she falls asleep, recognizing that that's what she needs to do now and there are no other choices. Hatzlacha! I can definitely relate to the frustration, our bedtimes were a disaster until recently when we hired a sleep coach and boruch Hashem things have gotten a lot better.


This sounds great ty! I will show this response to my husband as we were both doing lots of research to try to figure something out!
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amother




Goldenrod
 

Post Wed, Feb 03 2021, 7:57 pm
I used to stick my kids in my bed at bedtime and let them watch the kids channel on TV - they would fall asleep within 30 mins and then I'd carry them to their beds.

Not the greatest parenting but it saved my sanity.
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amother




Slateblue
 

Post Wed, Feb 03 2021, 8:12 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
My daughter is just like that with food as well- very picky eater and won’t touch any chicken, meat, even sandwiches or most dinners I make. So she basically asks for food or snacks all day because she lives on cereal, yogurt, apple, cucumber, avacados, and maybe a few bites of soup, noodles, or fish sticks. She has a major sweet tooth and loves candy, cookies and sweets which we of course limit as much as we possibly can at home.


She sounds a lot like my 5 year old who also has trouble falling asleep and also shares a room.
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amother




Dodgerblue
 

Post Wed, Feb 03 2021, 9:31 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Is it safe to give every night?

Dr. Susan Schulman said it's fine. That some kids just can't fall asleep on their own and their growing bodies need sleep desperately.
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amother




Lime
 

Post Wed, Feb 03 2021, 9:35 pm
OP hyperactivity, difficulty falling asleep, restrictive eating, sugar cravings, you have several red flags for chronic strep/pandas type thing going on.
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amother




OP
 

Post Wed, Feb 03 2021, 10:53 pm
amother [ Goldenrod ] wrote:
I used to stick my kids in my bed at bedtime and let them watch the kids channel on TV - they would fall asleep within 30 mins and then I'd carry them to their beds.

Not the greatest parenting but it saved my sanity.


Glad you found something that worked! How old were they? My kids seem to be able to keep themselves awake for hours when watching so that wouldn’t work.
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amother




OP
 

Post Wed, Feb 03 2021, 10:55 pm
amother [ Lime ] wrote:
OP hyperactivity, difficulty falling asleep, restrictive eating, sugar cravings, you have several red flags for chronic strep/pandas type thing going on.


Hmmm I don’t know much about that but thank you, I will look into it! I wouldn’t say she’s an especially hyper child though. Everything else you stated, yes.
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amother




Ecru
 

Post Sun, Feb 07 2021, 9:28 pm
OP I just wanted to say that I get you about being drained. When I’m depleted, I’m DONE. And at that point, it’s challenging to do even little things.

And I don’t like to end the evening on a negative note, so if I can, I try to push myself, but sometimes I get to a point and it’s hard to do even one.more.thing.
And I just need to take some time for myself.
Even though the children are such blessings BH.
So I get it.
Just wanted to give you some chizuk.
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thegiver




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Feb 24 2021, 8:59 pm
Be sure to catch their sleep window. It helps if husband puts them to bed. Play them.story cd. Induce sleepiness by turning off all house lights at 6pm create a routije like sing lullaby hold them tight then goodnight.
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thegiver




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Feb 24 2021, 9:01 pm
I just fall asleep and insist that they stay in bed with a book. When the house is quiet and I'm not making noises in kitchen it helps. Instead I try to wake up at 530
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amother




OP
 

Post Wed, Feb 24 2021, 10:18 pm
Just wanted to update everyone that a mixture of a bunch of things so kindly suggested here have significantly improved our nighttime routine. Doctor okayed a small amount of melatonin which has made a huge difference in that my daughter actually recognizes when she’s tired and falls asleep more easily, star reward chart, book read by me and my husband, younger daughter goes to bed before older daughter, and I rub younger daughter’s back in bed which she looks forward to. We also talk about everything she wants to thank Hashem for at night. Thank you so much for significantly helping our bedtime routine everyone!

The giver, that is my dream to be able to wake up at 5:30- how do you do it?? I’ve only been able to do it a handful of times.
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