S/O clearing the snow (females can as well)

bigsis144

Wed, Feb 03 2021, 3:47 pm

amother [ Seagreen ] wrote:

Also as women we have a lot of expectations and other things to live up to. I don't need to take on everything that has been the norm for the man. I would be drowning. I don't get how today's society is all about women doing all the men and women jobs. So what's left for the man? What does he need to strive to be?

Men should strive to be emotionally and physically present husbands and fathers, instead of offloading that on their wives.

Men shouldn’t automatically say “I can’t cook a meal/do laundry/change a diaper, that’s women’s work. My wife is just naturally better at childcare than me.”

Again, division of labor is fine.

Just let people be people! Strong people and weak people. People who are sensitive to cold/heat and people who care less, etc.

I’m usually the one who sits with my kids in the ER when they’re getting stitches because my big, strong husband (who shovels the snow) faints at the sight of blood.

amother

Firebrick

Wed, Feb 03 2021, 3:49 pm

shabbatiscoming wrote:

So ypu just left the snow? Nobody fell and hurt thrmselves? Or broke a leg?
Nope, never heard of just leaving the snow.
What happens when there is too much to walk on?

Canada has a huge snow clearing system, where trucks come and take away the snow!
So although it snows there heavily throughout the winter, they actually have to deal less with it as they are well equipped for it.

avrahamama

Wed, Feb 03 2021, 4:02 pm

Hashem_n_Farfel wrote:

I wanted to but my husband insisted I should NOT lift a finger while expecting so there’s that 😅
My husbands the type to do the man stuff. He believes women should also take part in chores yes but the light stuff.
Only light stuff. Like mopping, sweeping, taking out the trash, washing dishes, cleaning bathroom, doing the laundry (not sure if changing sheets is the same lol)....but if he sees ON MY FACE that I am completely pooped he insists I should rest.
He does the plastering, building, fixing, even arranging his own seforim.
I say I can use a screwdriver and a nail but he gets offended lol. He literally does not want me doing man stuff!

I also have a kid to take care of that’s too little to play in the snow so.........

This is not light stuff lol. It's hard work. And not only is it hard work but is done with much more frequency than shoveling, or even needing to put together a bookshelf or handyman work.

honey36

Wed, Feb 03 2021, 4:04 pm

Anyone else's husband do way more than them or is it just me?

I keep reading/hearing (in real life as well) about how women are so overwhelmed with everything they need to do- housework, childcare, working etc. And men have it so much easier/so much less responsibilities.

In my house I feel so the opposite! Yes I do most of the childcare, housework, and I also work outside the house part time, but I still have way more free time than my husband! He can always be busy with work, plus minyan 3 times a day, plus learning, plus all the stuff around house I really can't do- like anything involving a drill, lol. Plus handling the bills and other household finances etc... He wakes up way earlier than the rest of the house, and is just constantly busy.

Yes I'm busy too, but always have free time at end of day when kids are sleeping, or even during day when their just busy playing and entertaining themselves or whatever.

Why does it seem like "everyone" feels women have it harder- and don't even ask to shovel the snow b/c I already have so much else on my plate? Am I the only crazy one who thinks give the man a break?

Obviously I'm not taking about the houses where the women literally does everything. Im talking about my own experience and also what I hear from friends/family members who are constantly complaining about feeling overwhelmed, yet I never hear the husbands complain the same even though as far as I can tell their just as busy or more...

bigsis144

Wed, Feb 03 2021, 4:27 pm

tp3 wrote:

I wonder if manual (labor) comes from "man." Can't say that too loud these days.

I’m pretty sure it comes from “manus”, Latin for “hand” (the modern Spanish word for “hand” is “mano”) as in work you do with your hands/body and not with a machine.

Surgery takes manual dexterity.
I sure am glad that washing machines were invented and I don’t have to do laundry manually!
I used the manual override when the machine malfunctioned.
Anyone can use a camera in automatic mode, but using the manual settings takes skill.

Not everything is an anti-male conspiracy....

mommy3b2c

Wed, Feb 03 2021, 5:30 pm

shabbatiscoming wrote:

To me this is not about feminism, but not bring "the little lady" who isnt able to do things. But thats my view, doesnt have to be everyone's obviously.

No one is saying the little lady shouldn’t shovel if she wants to. Just that she shouldn’t have to.

amother

Pearl

Wed, Feb 03 2021, 6:31 pm

LOL, 5' me just got back from ... shoveling! We have a ton of sidewalk to do and we're going to have to work on it all evening taking turns. I want to be able to safely push my stroller, and it wasn't happening soon enough for my taste.

I didn't get very far. Like I said, out of shape from recent pregnancy. Hopefully dh will continue later.

amother

Violet

Wed, Feb 03 2021, 7:02 pm

I love shoveling. Idk if DH would do it because I generally beat him to it.
Recently, though, we moved to a development where the management takes care of the shoveling. I miss it a LOT. I even planned on doing the sidewalk before our management got to it, when I realized I left my shovel at out old residence Sad

amother

Blush

Wed, Feb 03 2021, 8:07 pm

amother [ Linen ] wrote:

Yes, it is gender based. Before feminism came into play, the men knew that anything that involves physical strength such as schlepping out the heavy trash, shoveling the snow, transferring a sleeping kid, etc, was their responsibility.

If it works otherwise for individual people, so be it. But that doesn't make it strange to have men undertake the duties that require physical strength.

And yes , taking out 30 gallon trash cans full to the brim is heavy work.
And yes shoveling a 20 ft or more area packed with 2 feet of snow is hard work. By the time I (all of petite 5 ft tall)shovel 1/4 area and feel it inevery muscle, dh ( 6ft and muscular) shovels 3/4 of it.
I will change bulbs, fix electrical or plumbing with dh. He will cook, bathe kids or grankids, change pampers etc. But heavy work - no.
Unless he has a medical condition, in which case hire another man.

PeanutMama

Wed, Feb 03 2021, 8:25 pm

avrahamama wrote:

This is not light stuff lol. It's hard work. And not only is it hard work but is done with much more frequency than shoveling, or even needing to put together a bookshelf or handyman work.

I don’t do the same stuff everyday, like one day I’ll do sweeping and mopping, then wash dishes and put one load in, then spend half the day resting lol.

But yeah it happened more than once that the laundry basket was very full and I pushed myself to do all loads whites, colors, blacks, bedsheets, towels all in one day and oh boy xD my husband was not pleased to say at the least. Not mad, more like disappointed.

Also I grew up doing a lot of chores so I’m used to it and to me that’s light housework haha.

Sprinkles1

Wed, Feb 03 2021, 11:43 pm

honey36 wrote:

Yup, same here!

amother

Burgundy

Thu, Feb 04 2021, 3:26 pm

shabbatiscoming wrote:

But why? What exactly is masculine about taking out the trash? Smile

In my case, it’s because I’m an introvert and hate leaving the house and potentially bumping into someone, so I’m happy for it to be DH’s “job”. The few times I’ve done it, he’s been suspicious. LOL

shabbatiscoming

Thu, Feb 04 2021, 4:45 pm

amother [ Firebrick ] wrote:

Huh? I meant the side walk in front of your home.
I grew up with plowing also, but we still had to shovel our walk way and shovel our car out.