How do you handle the mornings?

amother

Jetblack

Tue, Mar 02 2021, 2:47 pm

amother [ Cyan ] wrote:

Does Vyvanse not affect appetite? The reason I can’t give his Adderall before eating is because if he takes it on an empty stomach, he gets nauseous and doesn’t eat all day afterwards. But if Vyvanse doesn’t do that, I may consider switching.

It doesn't make him nauseous if he takes it on an empty stomach and his Psychiatrist said its totally fine for him to do so. Vyvanse does affect his appetite so he isn't super hungry when he wakes up at 8 but will still eat a bowl of cereal before school. It doesn't fully kick in for an hour and a half I think, so its still not fully affecting his appetite at 8. I believe Aderall is shorter acting so it packs a more powerful punch earlier on. We're very happy on vyvanse (but the crash at night isn't fun).

amother

Natural

Tue, Mar 02 2021, 3:52 pm

I have 4 boys all with ADHD! I gave up with the whole eat before you give the meds. My one kid who wont eat after the meds kick in I give a pedisure (its OUD but I asked a sheilah as we normaly keep CY) If I can't get him to sit and eat before he takes the meds what difference does it make. I ignore all comments actions and silliness but not violence or teasing. I get up an hour and half before they do so I am dressed lunches made etc before they wake up. Routine is key for ADHD kids. No variation at all. I positively reinforce all good behavior verbally and no matter how insane the morning they leave with a smile, hug, and kiss and a positive comment from Mommy.

amother

Chocolate

Tue, Mar 02 2021, 4:11 pm

I woke him up last, after I got the other kids ready. Find something to keep other kids occupied while waiting. B"H, by the time he hit mid teens his emotional regulation got way better but we had quiet a few rough yeara

amother

Cyan

Tue, Mar 02 2021, 5:28 pm

amother [ Natural ] wrote:

I want to hug you through the screen. I would love to be at peace like you are.

I really don’t like the idea of pediasure for breakfast (other than the added vitamins, it’s not very wholesome or nutritious). But for sanity’s sake it may just be worth it.

amother

Babypink

Tue, Mar 02 2021, 5:31 pm

amother [ Babypink ] wrote:

Have you had him evaluated for pans/pandas? Mornings were a nightmare before we treated our dc for this.

Quoting my own post because it’s more relevant than ever. We used to have mornings like you’re all describing here. But since treating chronic strep and inflammation they’ve been a pleasure. Whenever they start acting up again with meltdown, defiance, aggression, picking fights, impulsivity, regressive behavior, I know it’s time to check for strep.

amother

Cyan

Tue, Mar 02 2021, 5:39 pm

amother [ Babypink ] wrote:

Maybe this is relevant to others. But for me, my son has been this way all his life. Not to say he can’t have both. Would this be picked up in an annual doctors exam and bloodwork (he had both recently). My assumption is also low since on his ADHD meds, he’s a real tzaddik.

mom!

Tue, Mar 02 2021, 6:58 pm

amother [ Cyan ] wrote:

OP I just came here to start such a thread. But now there’s no need to, you said it all.

I am wiped out and want to run away. I want to cry but I’m too overwhelmed to cry.

To all suggesting logical talks and solutions, I think it’s safe to say you don’t have a child with serious ADHD. They don’t follow logic. They cannot even hear you when you speak. My son B”H does pretty well in school while on meds, but he can’t take his meds before eating, and the eating just doesn’t happen in the morning! So I can’t give him his meds early in the morning since he hasn’t eaten. He acts seriously insane, verbally, physically, turning the house over.

He had therapy for a while. But it didn’t help much, if at all. Because he can’t even use his brain logically when he’s not on medication.

And no, it’s not PANDAS. He’s always been this way. Yes always. I remember mothers telling me when he was two that it’ll get better. No. It only gets worse as they get smarter and stronger.

I have no strength left. I can’t do this anymore. And it hurts me because beneath all this, he’s such a sweetheart.

You sound like such a wonderful mother who’s been through so much! Hatzlacha to you and OP!

amother

Seashell

Tue, Mar 02 2021, 7:08 pm

I just give my son his medicine first thing in the morning. He doesn't like to eat breakfast even when he doesn't take meds so it wasn't worth the fight.
His dr. said it's fine if he hardly eats by day and gets his nutrition only in the evening. He eats a full dinner including protein and tons of salad so I don't focus on his food by day. I give him snacks and a sandwich for school and he usually finds an appetite for the cookies even if he doesn't always eat the sandwich.

amother

Linen

Tue, Mar 02 2021, 7:34 pm

Hugs to all in this situation!!! I feel so validated that I have company in this!!
One thing that helped DD was taking intuniv in the evening.(in addition to her daily ritalin). This was after I told the Dr how crazy the mornings were. It's a 24 hr drug, so it's active in the morning..
It's not foolproof, but together with compliments, routine, most things ready the night before... most days go smooth.
Still have the days I go to work crying... But now it's not the regular.
Try to let his words flow over you-as it's him in pain, and he doesn't like himself when saying not nice things to you.. that thought helps me...
Hatzlacha!!!!!!

bwaybabe85

Tue, Mar 02 2021, 7:49 pm

Mornings were a nightmare when my son was on stimulants and waiting for the meds to kick in. He’s on guanfacine now and there are no ups/downs like on Ritalin.

becky2345

Tue, Mar 02 2021, 7:59 pm

In case it helps- intuniv is the same as guanfacin..

amother

Babypink

Tue, Mar 02 2021, 8:17 pm

amother [ Cyan ] wrote:

No, standard bloodwork won’t pick it up. But anyways it’s a clinical diagnosis.,

bwaybabe85

Tue, Mar 02 2021, 9:15 pm

becky2345 wrote:

In case it helps- intuniv is the same as guanfacin..

yes! I should have mentioned that.

Janie Asne

Tue, Mar 02 2021, 9:21 pm

amother [ Cyan ] wrote:

That’s part of the problem. Before his meds kick in, he cannot even focus on eating. Which means he cannot take his meds yet, which in turn makes it difficult for him to focus on eating. It’s a vicious cycle that I wish I knew how to solve.

I put an uncrustable pb&j sandwich on my top of my son’s clothes for the day. This way he eats first thing.

amother

Ivory

Tue, Mar 02 2021, 9:32 pm

nmf2010 wrote:

Lately I've been having so much trouble with my DS9 with ADHD. In the last few weeks, there has been 1!!! morning that didn't end with either me in tears or him banished to his room because he was behaving in an inacceptable way (shouting at everyone, hurting his siblings etc etc).

I am constantly losing my temper with him and hating myself for my lack of control. I am filled with negative feelings for him and wish he weren't my son. And that makes me hate myself more - how can a mother not love her child???

And all of this while trying to get another 3 kids ready for school, and myself ready for work. These negative feelings and interactions keep eating at me the whole day until I just want to explode.

And then it all starts again the next morning!

I really feel like I'm doing my best to keep myself in a healthy and happy mood. I start every morning with a smile on my face. But he just comes out of his room in the morning trying to make me mad. Yesterday he said straight out "I want you to have a bad morning".

How do other women deal with this?? I can't be the only one dealing with this kind of situation and these kinds of feelings.

I totally feel you. One piece of advice I got really changed things for me. There is this expectation to always be calm and collected, like pretend things don't bother you and hold things in.... In a book I read it was talking about communicating to your children your negative emotions. I felt weird about it but then I talked about it with a friend and it makes so much sense .

You totally don't have to pretend your not losing control. Number one, your kids will sense you are not authentic, and 2 holding things in too long will only make you lose control and feel more impatient. You should not be angry our of control, that's dangeeous. But it's better to let things out in controlled angry spurts. Throw out the window of the expectation of being calm and collected. And if it doesn't fix the situation, at least you get some steam out so you can function .and you are emulating how to handle emotions to your choldren. This had really changed things for me. I'll give your examples:

( To my 3 year old)

- when you hit your brother mommy gets very upset and angry and frustrated. (Also say this in an angry tone but not out of control.

- I feel very overwhelmed when you and your brother are both talking to me. I am going to sit down and take a deep breath then listen.

- I love you. I'm just still upset how you were acting before. I need time to cool down.

-im davenifn to hashem now he helps me be calm because I am feeling very frustrated right now.

Before in these types of situations I would just try to act like a robot, put a calm demenor. Now I feel more patient, and my kids have been responding better in general.