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Budgeting
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yiddishmom




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Feb 09 2021, 12:40 pm
OP,

If you are interested in a baby-sitting job, and/or your husband is interested in a warehouse job PM me.

Monsey area.
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flowerpower




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Feb 09 2021, 12:58 pm
cutestbaby wrote:
Unfortunately this seems to be way too common... people don't plan and then get surprised when they suddenly aren't making ends meet


Most people have a plan. Trust me
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102345




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Feb 09 2021, 1:43 pm
the benefits are not ending soon ,I live in london and I get from its called uc £1900 and rent is 1200 its the cheapest in stamford hill 1 bedroom and 700 spare goes to esstntial items and the job for my dh ,has to have a fufiling job not just give change to pepole all day what he did till he himself whent out or teaching disabled what was not for him.
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Java




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Feb 09 2021, 1:45 pm
102345 wrote:
the benefits are not ending soon ,I live in london and I get from its called uc £1900 and rent is 1200 its the cheapest in stamford hill 1 bedroom and 700 spare goes to esstntial items and the job for my dh ,has to have a fufiling job not just give change to pepole all day what he did till he himself whent out or teaching disabled what was not for him.

I don't think you're getting this. Your DH does not need to have a fulfilling job. He needs to have ANY job that will feed his family, which is his responsibility.
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watergirl




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Feb 09 2021, 1:49 pm
102345 wrote:
the benefits are not ending soon ,I live in london and I get from its called uc £1900 and rent is 1200 its the cheapest in stamford hill 1 bedroom and 700 spare goes to esstntial items and the job for my dh ,has to have a fufiling job not just give change to pepole all day what he did till he himself whent out or teaching disabled what was not for him.


Ok, I see my mistake, I thought you were saying you are almost at the end of your benefits. You meant, what you receive only lasts you a few days?

102345 wrote:
I would like advice on how to budget because I dont have a job and my dh dosnt ,so I get benifits and it finishes a few days after ,and after that I have to ask my parents and he asks his, so its very hard ,what should I do .


With all due respect, it's time for your husband to get any job at this point. Take any job and look for something he will find to be fulfilling while he is bringing in an income. It's also time for you to look for a job. At least one of you has to work.
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Blessing1




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Feb 09 2021, 1:52 pm
102345 wrote:
the benefits are not ending soon ,I live in london and I get from its called uc £1900 and rent is 1200 its the cheapest in stamford hill 1 bedroom and 700 spare goes to esstntial items and the job for my dh ,has to have a fufiling job not just give change to pepole all day what he did till he himself whent out or teaching disabled what was not for him.


Your husband needs to do ANYTHING to bring in money. A cashier is also a job. He can't sit home because certain jobs are below him. He should be a responsible adult and take any job till he finds something that he likes. No one starts at the top, you need to start at the bottom and build yourself up. DH first job was putting labels on packages for 10 hours a day, he'd come home literally in tears. Bh with time he worked his way up and bh bh he has a very good position now. It doesn't happen overnight, he has to be ready to put in the work.
The same applies to you OP, it's dysfunctional for 2 healthy adults to sit home jobless because they don't like what's available. Too bad, part of being an adult and a parent is being responsible.
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doodlesmom




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Feb 09 2021, 2:58 pm
Ok. The fact that you live in London clears things up.
People in Stamford hill ( where I imagine you live or somewhere similar) aren’t very into hustling and working.
The government gives a lot of benefits, which should almost be enough to live on if you keep to the bare minimum ( which you should at this point).

So people have big egos about what job they will take. People don’t overwork there too much, and take it easy.

It’s getting better but my English husband remembers when the first Chassidish plumber started and people called it a chilul hashem. Ridiculous but it’s true.
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doodlesmom




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Feb 09 2021, 3:00 pm
Keep in mind: Maternity leave in London is up to 9 months....so people with a 4 month old feel like they “ just had a baby”.
They might be right, but not if they’re not making ends meet.
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Elfrida




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Feb 09 2021, 3:06 pm
Fulfillment can come from knowing that he is providing for his family, not just from the job itself.
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Blessing1




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Feb 09 2021, 3:10 pm
Elfrida wrote:
Fulfillment can come from knowing that he is providing for his family, not just from the job itself.


This. I think it's a very fulfilling feeling that one is supporting their family on their own, regardless of the job.
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shabbatiscoming




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Feb 09 2021, 3:30 pm
102345 wrote:
the benefits are not ending soon ,I live in london and I get from its called uc £1900 and rent is 1200 its the cheapest in stamford hill 1 bedroom and 700 spare goes to esstntial items and the job for my dh ,has to have a fufiling job not just give change to pepole all day what childminding he did till he himself whent out or teaching disabled what was not for him.
OP, until you have some money coming in to your growing mishpacha, no, he does not need a fulfilling job. He needs a job that will bring in money so that you can eat and cloth your child and put the heat on in the winter.
Then after some time, while he is working, he can look for something else. But until then, no, fulfillment is not something that he should be thinking about, other than fulfilling the duty to bring in a parnasa.
And how long ago did you have your baby? You can find a job as well and put your child into a childminding center and find a job as well.
Sometimes its not about fulfillment at all, but about putting food on the table and being able to turn the lights on and the hear in winter.
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hodeez




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Feb 09 2021, 3:32 pm
From your end maybe you can bake goods or sew clothing/accessories. SOMETHING. One or both of you has to step up and bring in some income. It's not fair to your parents to keep supporting you when you should be supporting yourselves.
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Sprinkles1




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Feb 09 2021, 3:35 pm
Well, the parents are enabling this behavior.
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hodeez




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Feb 09 2021, 3:44 pm
Sprinkles1 wrote:
Well, the parents are enabling this behavior.

I don't think that's fair. It's very hard for parents to just cut off their kids, especially when there are grandkids involved. Also we don't know the whole story.
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Flowermum




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Feb 09 2021, 3:57 pm
doodlesmom wrote:
Ok. The fact that you live in London clears things up.
People in Stamford hill ( where I imagine you live or somewhere similar) aren’t very into hustling and working.
The government gives a lot of benefits, which should almost be enough to live on if you keep to the bare minimum ( which you should at this point).

So people have big egos about what job they will take. People don’t overwork there too much, and take it easy.

It’s getting better but my English husband remembers when the first Chassidish plumber started and people called it a chilul hashem. Ridiculous but it’s true.


Uh Oh! thats not so true.. if you take out a calcualtor and work out the tax return you guys receive in NY and then take the benefits we receive in England its about the same.

HOWEVER OP you must sit down with your husband and say either you go to work or I go to work. The newsheet, update etc have full of vacancies for woman and men without degrees.

I can share with you long stories of experiences of my and my husband jobs till we got to where we are today bh with NO degrees....

Its a self talk, "I am capable! I can work! I am good at many things," and so can you tell your husband kindly, "I believe in you, you are a capable man, You have so many qualities!"

Sitting at home together in the freezing cold weather just brings misery, negativety, arguments, bad energy and welcomes depression.
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Blessing1




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Feb 09 2021, 3:59 pm
hodeez wrote:
I don't think that's fair. It's very hard for parents to just cut off their kids, especially when there are grandkids involved. Also we don't know the whole story.


It's hard for parents to cut off kids but sometimes it's the right thing to do. Sometimes it takes not having money for food or utilities to get someone to get the wake-up call that they must get a job.
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Amarante




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Feb 09 2021, 4:07 pm
Flowermum wrote:
Uh Oh! thats not so true.. if you take out a calcualtor and work out the tax return you guys receive in NY and then take the benefits we receive in England its about the same.



I'm not sure what tax returns you are referring to but in general the US is not particularly generous with benefits compared to the UK and most other western democracies. There might be a few people who learn how to work the system.

In terms of husband, my mouth dropped when I read that he doesn't work because he can't find a fulfilling job. There are very few jobs that are fulfilling or to put it another way most people work because they are paid to work and they need the money.

I am not even sure what fulfilling means - fulfilling for a job for most people means that you are self supporting; that you are contributing to your family and for most people even a low level job helps self esteem more than sitting at home living on the dole and taking hand outs from family.

I have a professional degree and work in a field that is theoretically stimulating but it is still not something I would do if I weren't paid to do it. Stimulating jobs have their own issues as they are high stress and often filled with crises and one knows that mistakes can have serious ramifications. Plus - at least with my jobs - there are exceedingly boring things to be done that take up a lot of time on the job.
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doodlesmom




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Feb 09 2021, 4:13 pm
Flowermum wrote:
Uh Oh! thats not so true.. if you take out a calcualtor and work out the tax return you guys receive in NY and then take the benefits we receive in England its about the same..


What do you mean by tax return? Child tax credit?
Child tax credit is income based. Is yours as well?
Because tax return is essentially getting back money that you initially overpaid the government.
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doodlesmom




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Feb 09 2021, 4:17 pm
I would actually love to hear what benefits I’m UK gives vs. USA I’ll start a spin off.
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CatLady




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Feb 09 2021, 5:18 pm
When does he get to have a fulfilling job? Short answer: He doesn't. He has a wife and baby to support. He can deliver for UberEats, work at Costco (if he's lucky enough to get hired there!), or muck out horse stables if that's what he needs to do in order to get food on your table. Until your mat leave benefits run out, do not get a job. He consented to the ketubah, which means he contracted to provide for you and your family. Don't let him off the hook!
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