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ADHD - who do you tell?

 
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amother




OP
 

Post Tue, Feb 09 2021, 3:29 pm
If your DC has been diagnosed with ADHD, do you and DH keep it to yourselves or do you tell DC and share the information freely with friends and family?

Our DC was diagnosed this summer at age 6. We have told DC's teachers and also shared it with grandparents. Because DC is so young and isn't being medicated currently, plus DC is doing very well in school, we're not sure that DC needs to know at this time.

We don't consider it a stigma at all. For example, DH is very open about his ADHD. We expect DC will eventually be open about it too. We just don't know if DC is old enough to comprehend an explanation yet. Do most parents share freely regardless of age or wait until DC is older?
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amother




Slategray
 

Post Tue, Feb 09 2021, 3:36 pm
What would be the benefit of sharing the diagnosis with your child?
If he's not having difficulties I don't think I would say anything. Once you start to medicate it makes sense to explain to him why he takes medication.
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amother




Oak
 

Post Tue, Feb 09 2021, 3:37 pm
I have not told dd10 about her diagnosis yet. I don't think it's a positive thing for her specifically to have any labels on herself. For other kids, it might be validation they need to hear, so there's no one-size-fits-all answer. I do tell teachers, and discuss with some friends who have kids with similar diagnoses, to exchange info and just as a soundboard. I really feel there are so many kids diagnosed that there is no stigma at this point. However, if you choose to medicate, best not to spread to too many people, that's still private info. Teachers should know, obviously, but no need to broadcast to everyone.
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amother




OP
 

Post Tue, Feb 09 2021, 5:22 pm
amother [ Slategray ] wrote:
What would be the benefit of sharing the diagnosis with your child?

That's why we haven't yet. We don't see a benefit right now because DC doesn't need the validation and also wouldn't really understand what it means yet.

It just feels funny to me because I'm usually an open person and I usually speak openly to my kids about other things that pertain to them. So I was wondering what most parents do.
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amother




Black
 

Post Tue, Feb 09 2021, 5:33 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
That's why we haven't yet. We don't see a benefit right now because DC doesn't need the validation and also wouldn't really understand what it means yet.

It just feels funny to me because I'm usually an open person and I usually speak openly to my kids about other things that pertain to them. So I was wondering what most parents do.


Im following this.
My son is 6 and also awaiting diagnosis.

Not sure if Id tell him exact qording but would just say more along the lines of 'some people have more difficulty concentrating' etc or'you know you sometimes find it hard to keep still, or sometimes you get too hyper'
which is basically what he hears anyway.

Just today he said you can tell my teacher/helper/counsellor about 'sensory'
He doesnt even know what it means , he just knows he has a special sensory box and other stuff but I was happy to hear him saying that.

I think its different for each child.
If your child is already being singled out a lot for things may be helpful to say to validate him.
But personally, I wouldnt say the name. just in general descrieb the difficulties.
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amother




Ivory
 

Post Tue, Feb 09 2021, 5:44 pm
I was diagnosed at 6 as well, and medicated. This was before resources like OT, speech, and behavioral therapy. I had no self awareness as to how my distracted behavior was bothering others or inhibiting my learning, and was not given any. I was told in simple language that I had attention deficit disorder and that I was very smart but my brain couldn't always concentrate, so I needed "vitamins" to help me learn. Although the explanation was kind and I could understand, I felt a strong sense of shame, and I still do, deep down. I knew no other children with this label, and everyone else seemed to function perfectly well. My parents did the best they could with the information that was available at the time, but we can do so much better now!

Here is what I wish had happened:. I wish a kind behavioral therapist had worked with me on self awareness and social skills in a group setting (like not talking during circle time, etc). I wish OT and speech therapies, and small group instruction at school, and once a week tutoring would have given me better sensory integration, executive functioning, and helped me with learning to read and math. I wish my diet would have been regulated better, with frequent healthy snack and drink breaks to keep my blood sugar stable. I wish exercise and creative play would have been more frequent at school, especially under third grade. I wish my teachers would have been told my diagnosis, not so they could wonder if I took my medication on a rough day, but to give me extra patience when I still couldn't remember if the crayons went in my cubby or the bins. If those things would have been in place, I don't think I would have needed medication, or even a label at such a young age.

Please don't label your child until he has a strong foundation in feeling accomplished and a strong self esteem. For sure if you are not medicating. Be his advocate and insist on every therapy you can to help him, read every book out there, give him a really balanced diet and exercise and sleep regimen, and absolutely educate his teachers to give him extra reassurance and directions and patience and snack and exercise breaks.

Hatzlacha to you and your precious child!!
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amother




Periwinkle
 

Post Tue, Feb 09 2021, 6:03 pm
I tell my son that he has trouble focusing. Otherwise they internalize that they are stupid.
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