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Forum
-> Parenting our children
-> Infants
avrahamama
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Wed, Feb 10 2021, 12:51 pm
Hashem_n_Farfel wrote: | Wow OP, I can’t imagine how difficult it is.
We all want to help you get some well deserved, much needed rest.
Let someone come to you. You don’t have to tell them your name. Most likely the people who are willing to help you will do it anonymously leshem shomayim. These imas can say “hi I am username or amother color x from imamother.” So you know they’re not just strangers.
Or if you don’t want someone from here, we can call around for a night nurse available to take care of your baby so you and your husband can rest. I’m looking up numbers for you and when I find something I’ll post them here. |
Eek H&F this is not as safe as you think. Please be careful for yourself. It's likely the women here are fine. But it's also likely there's some that aren't.
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amother
Black
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Wed, Feb 10 2021, 5:53 pm
Listen OP, many of us have been there done that. We know the answer, you MUST get some sleep. Many energetic mothers and bubbies on here would provide you references irl so we can help you get a good nights sleep. You can pm a known person who would keep screen names confidential and only give you a real name and number & references. That's all you need. Or get another nurse, do not give up. Do neither of you have a sibling or friends you can offer to pay for the luxury of one nights sleep? But I am here to tell you, it gets better. A lot better.
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amother
Maroon
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Wed, Feb 10 2021, 6:04 pm
Do you or Dh have any family/sibs parents cousins anyone who could come and stay for a while and spell you?
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amother
Maroon
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Wed, Feb 10 2021, 6:07 pm
If not and I were desperate I would put myself on babies schedule and do nothing else for a while but sleep and feed myself and baby- be up nights sleep days if u cannot find any respite until baby’s in a better phase- Dh can take care of himself - or I would take baby and go stay at my parents for a while- desperate times call for doing whatever works- even go to a kimpeturin place
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the world's best mom
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Wed, Feb 10 2021, 7:52 pm
Another mother who has BTDT. It was awful. Awful. But B"H it passes.
You've received a lot of good advice on this thread. Definitely try to remove dairy from his diet. Try a soy formula.
Soft music might help.
I would offer to watch him at night if you live near me, but he and my baby would keep each other company. But I can watch him during the day if you don't work and want a nap.
As far as your resentment towards your dh goes, I think that is more normal than you might think. Men don't have the maternal instinct that women have. They tend to feel inferior and therefore are happy to allow their more capable wife to take over and they don't do enough to help. IY"H he will learn over time to be more helpful, and you can help him by asking him clearly for specific types of help. Maybe you can figure out together which hours he will make himself available to hold the baby so that you can sleep. I think that's a conversation you need to have when you are both calm, not when you are angry and desperate and ready to throw the baby at him. If he feels like you are angry at him, he will likely be scared off instead of being helpful.
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amother
Coral
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Wed, Feb 10 2021, 8:03 pm
Another vote for harvey karp. The five Ss
Swaddle means TIGHT!!! (If he's breaking out, it's not tight enough)
SSSHHH SHHH loudly in ear
While holding on SIDE
SUCKING on a pacifier if he'll take It
And yes, if a poster with name recognition offers to help, and it's in your city, the them up on it!!!
I'm proud of you for reaching out to the agency. Keep bugging them and get a new nurse.
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