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I love seeing my childs mess. Is that normal?

Forum -> Parenting our children -> Toddlers

View latest: 24h 48h 72h

amother

OP

Wed, Feb 10 2021, 12:21 pm

Its an amazing sense of accomplishment and responsibility to take care of a child and I just love dealing with my childs tantrums and mess. I would never ask for tantrums and I will never daven for a mess but I am so thankful to be dealing with this that I actually love having my child spill a box of cereal. There are so many dealing with infertility that I thank Hashem every day that I get to do this.
Am I crazy?
I love children. This is what Ive lived for and waited for since I was a child.
Does anyone else feel the same?

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cutestbaby

Wed, Feb 10 2021, 12:23 pm

Yes of course!! Good for you, that's such an amazing attitude Smile

Smile

I just wish I could have the same attitude every time I'm cleaning poop off my baby's legs or giving her the third bath of the day...

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amother

Amber

Wed, Feb 10 2021, 12:28 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Its an amazing sense of accomplishment and responsibility to take care of a child and I just love dealing with my childs tantrums and mess. I would never ask for mess and I will never daven for a mess but I am so thankful to be dealing with this that I actually love having my child spill a box of cereal. There are so many dealing with infertility that I thank Hashem every day that I get to do this.
Am I crazy?
I love children. This is what Ive lived for and waited for since I was a child.
Does anyone else feel the same?

Yes!
The only barb in my day is when dh walks in at night and gets all mad.
I spent all day playing and dealing with tantrums (calmly!) And playing and teaching toddler to clean up and making more messes and have such a sense of accomplishment. This is it! I was present and it was wonderful. I even did some laundry(!) Washed and folded and put away, While he played nicely (a rarity!) And to come home and asked what happened to the house 😥 this is why I have a hard time doing being present and enjoying it more often, but its my goal anyways, because I do love it!

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amother

Burlywood

Wed, Feb 10 2021, 12:28 pm

Haha no. Even after 5 years of infertility I don’t love changing poops or sitting in spit up. But you do you! Bh I can enjoy my miracle in other ways

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amother

Saddlebrown

Wed, Feb 10 2021, 12:28 pm

Is it possible that you're pregnant? I find myself having extremely gushy extra adoring feelings towards my kids when I'm pregnant. Obviously, I love them all the time, but when I'm pregnant it's like way extreme like a high. But if you feel that way all the time, more power to you!

4

amother

Indigo

Wed, Feb 10 2021, 12:30 pm

Is there a reason why? For example is someone has a close relative who isn't well they appreciate health etc..for me I grew up never disobeying bec it wasn't safe. When my kids are chutzpadik I feel relieved. It means they feel safe.

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amother

OP

Wed, Feb 10 2021, 12:36 pm

amother [ Indigo ] wrote:

Is there a reason why? For example is someone has a close relative who isn't well they appreciate health etc..for me I grew up never disobeying bec it wasn't safe. When my kids are chutzpadik I feel relieved. It means they feel safe.

I hear. That makes sense. Maybe its because my mother got very nervous and raised her voice if there was mess that now that im dealing with it myself I see a beauty in it?

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5

amother

Olive

Wed, Feb 10 2021, 1:57 pm

Yes! I totally relate! I love watching my kids learn how to self regulate and speak respectfully. I get giddy when they effectively and nicely communicate with each other. I love watching them learn how to respect each others’ boundaries. I love it when they kvetch because it means that I am their safe space. When they make a mess, I love watching how they react, and how they help each other clean it up.
It comes along with tantrums and messes, but that’s part of the learning process, and I wouldn’t give it up for anything ❤️

amother

Natural

Wed, Feb 10 2021, 2:00 pm

Toddler play messes are so sweet. I am really not motherly by nature and I have a hard time functioning when it's messy but something about the mess of play makes me all warm and fuzzy inside. My 3 year old even says about my 1 year old "Look she made a beautiful mess"

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Frumme

Wed, Feb 10 2021, 2:06 pm

Depends on the mess for me, I think!

Toys everywhere is fine with me, it's fun seeing DD play with different toys, combine them, etc (drives my MIL crazy that she takes out more than one toy at a time. Lol).

But messes that I know DD is making for attention are less than pleasant. Like when she gets rice grains everywhere Banging head

Banging head

zaq

Wed, Feb 10 2021, 5:32 pm

Normal, not normal, what difference does it make if you're happy? Halevai we should all be so abnormal.

Unless, of course, you relish poopy diapers, sniff them, admire them and have to fight the urge to bury your face or hands in them, in which case, yes, ma'am, you're certifiable and a trip to the shrink is in order lest your disorder escalate.

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amother

Wheat

Wed, Feb 10 2021, 5:45 pm

Yes sure, when your child empties out all the shelves and drawers of clothing that you just spent alot of time organizing, you are delighted. Right? And spills or makes a mess right fore your DH or guest come intoyourhoie, you are totally I sync and fine with whatever mess he make. Yes, right.
I too had IF for years and am bh zoche to raise a few little ones finally. I still dread messes at certain times. Do I feel good that they are growing and can finally unpack closets, yes. And when we spend quality time to play and create a mess together, yes. But I'm not fond of messes of just spilling juice, cereals and create messes just because....

amother

OP

Wed, Feb 10 2021, 5:50 pm

Well then Im annoyed at the situation like why did you have to spill that just now??? But im not annoyed at the child. The last thing I want to do is to be stressed and make the house stressed.
I dont enjoy the mess on the other hand I enjoy the challenge of dealing with it and that the mess came from the child I love so much. If the mess was made by me being absentminded or a neighbor I would be a lot more upset

sushilover

Wed, Feb 10 2021, 7:05 pm

My father used to walk into the house and look around at the mess. He'd beam with pride and nachas, "ahhh, THIS is a yiddishe home!"

He loved the pre shabbos and yt messes most of all.

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amother

Beige

Wed, Feb 10 2021, 8:42 pm

What an incredible perspective!! I’m going to try to bring this into my home.
Thanks!

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lucky14

Wed, Feb 10 2021, 10:36 pm

sushilover wrote:

My father used to walk into the house and look around at the mess. He'd beam with pride and nachas, "ahhh, THIS is a yiddishe home!"

He loved the pre shabbos and yt messes most of all.

That is so awesome!

3

Frumme

Wed, Feb 10 2021, 11:35 pm

sushilover wrote:

My father used to walk into the house and look around at the mess. He'd beam with pride and nachas, "ahhh, THIS is a yiddishe home!"

He loved the pre shabbos and yt messes most of all.

Reminds me of the story of the woman who got a bracha to "have a messy home"-- she was overjoyed because she was childless and a messy home would mean that she would have to have a child in order to have messes to clean

4

amother

Dodgerblue

Thu, Feb 11 2021, 1:39 am

zaq wrote:

Normal, not normal, what difference does it make if you're happy? Halevai we should all be so abnormal.

Unless, of course, you relish poopy diapers, sniff them, admire them and have to fight the urge to bury your face or hands in them, in which case, yes, ma'am, you're certifiable and a trip to the shrink is in order lest your disorder escalate.

While I don't do it to the extent you describe, I love it when my child has a dirty diaper. We sing and clap and say "BH you're healthy!"

This child has had health issues in this area, but it's true for every child! and every person! BH we are so grateful for healthy bodies that can expel waste!

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Crookshanks

Thu, Feb 11 2021, 11:22 am

sushilover wrote:

My father used to walk into the house and look around at the mess. He'd beam with pride and nachas, "ahhh, THIS is a yiddishe home!"

He loved the pre shabbos and yt messes most of all.

I hugged your post for real this story makes me so happysad

amother

Linen

Thu, Feb 11 2021, 11:58 am

Wow, you guys are really amazing. I feel so resentful of messes! I wish I can feel this perspective!

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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Toddlers

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