How exhausted are you after giving birth?

clowny

Mon, Feb 15 2021, 9:47 am

I can’t believe those who say that they are fully back to normal the next day. Can you please define normal?? Are you really ready to run around the house the next morning at 8 am sending off 5 kids to school? Are you really ready to clean up after the morning rush? Ready to do laundry for a household of 6? Ready too cook and clean up? And get 5 kids ready for bed? Or are you saying normal because you just had your first baby and you don’t even realize what normal is because there’s not much to do, especially if you’re at your moms house or your mom came to help.

OR

“Normal” has a different definition to everyone I guess. And normal to one might not be normal to another. And daily routine differs from one person to another.

But I still would like to hear if there’s anyone out there sending off 5 or even more kids to school within the first 2-3 days after giving birth. And how do you feel after that? And I don’t mean big kids. I’m talking about kids age 2-10

Is there’s anyone out there cooking a full meal for dinner a day after giving birth? And I don’t mean just throwing frozen pizza into the oven. (Not that there’s anything wrong, but you get my point...)

amother

Bronze

Mon, Feb 15 2021, 9:59 am

clowny wrote:

So your question is: are there any women with large families of young children and non or outside household or husband help who feel back to normal immediately after birth?

I feel your question is too specific. Not all
Communities do the women have 5+ children, certainly not with limiting Spacing. As we know from this site many many women have extensive cleaning help. Wouldn’t that person be doing the laundry? And who’s to say that the 2 children I had in my 40s took less of a toll on my body than the 5 someone else did in their 20s?

amother

Silver

Mon, Feb 15 2021, 10:02 am

clowny wrote:

I only have 4 kids that need to be sent out in the morning so maybe I dont get to have a say Wink

but yes bh I am able to get them all ready, feed breakfast, drive carpool, clean up, do laundry, feed supper, bathe kids, do bedtime, clean up......

I dont have to push myself to do these things I could take it easy if I wanted to but physically I dont need to. And to the previous poster who said its impossible there are no absolutes in this world. Just because this is not your experience doesn't mean its not true for other people.

mha3484

Mon, Feb 15 2021, 10:07 am

I think each birth is different. My last three kids I would describe as not feeling like death but not running a marathon either. For the first few weeks I felt somewhere between the two modes. I can do very basic household tasks. Simple straightening up folding laundry type stuff. I dont think I was washing dishes or cleaning the bathroom until around a month at least. I can make a 5 min chicken and potatoes but no major standing and chopping.

I think two main factors are how tired I was when labor started and how the baby sleeps. My last two were born in the middle of the afternoon and labor started that morning so that night of sleep before was super good for me not falling apart. My 6 year old was born at 4am which is the worst but he spent a week getting anti biotics in the nursery after I was discharged so I made myself go to sleep every night at 8pm and I let them give him formula and when he came home a week later I felt much stronger. My oldest was my worst sleeper and I struggled a lot to manage. My next kids slept a lot better and I felt a lot better.

clowny

Mon, Feb 15 2021, 10:10 am

amother [ Bronze ] wrote:

That’s exactly my point. To those who don’t have children to send off, or those who don’t have to do laundry etc.. they might not even realize that they are not back to normal because what are they doing other then caring for the newborn? I’ts like when I’m in a convalescent home after giving birth. I’m feeling absolutely perfect there. That’s because I’m not doing a thing.

amother

Navy

Mon, Feb 15 2021, 10:11 am

Do everything straight from coming home from hospital. Yes I do have cleaning help. Otherwise I am doing all the regular household things. Have way more energy the day I give birth than any day of pregnancy. I’m not one to accept suppers from people but I always think to myself if I were to be offered and accept then it would be while pregnant and not after birth. Nursing to me is draining painful and time consuming but if I would not be nursing then I would be less tired. I am out and about functioning right away. Mothers of babies/ little kids are always exhausted in general we learn to just do.
Editing to add where I live we do not send the other kids out nor go to kimpeturim heim but we do get hired help in the home as needed.

clowny

Mon, Feb 15 2021, 10:14 am

amother [ Silver ] wrote:

I only have 4 kids that need to be sent out in the morning so maybe I dont get to have a say Wink

4 kids does actually qualifies you to have a say.😃

You’re not saying how long after giving birth you’re doing all this. And good for you you’re feeling this way. But tell me the honest truth-you don’t feel any setback at one point? May I also ask where you’re newborn is while you’re doing all that?

amother

Bronze

Mon, Feb 15 2021, 10:15 am

clowny wrote:

I hear you except (as I think we can agree on) normal is different for you and me. I’m not particularly tired post Partum but was in significant pain following both my deliveries. I wasn’t in less pain when when I was doing nothing. Plus my doing ‘something’ may be less than someone else’s. I don’t have a large family. But I am quite a bit older. I don’t have household help. But I do get dinners sent for several weeks. There are way too many variables for different women to compare themselves to each other.

clowny

Mon, Feb 15 2021, 10:19 am

amother [ Bronze ] wrote:

What I’m guessing normal is- that you’re doing everything you did before giving birth. So if you’re getting dinners for several weeks, that means not back to normal yet.

amother

Periwinkle

Mon, Feb 15 2021, 10:23 am

clowny wrote:

So you’re wondering how other women manage without the kimpeturin home? I’ve never been to one and my kids are home right after I come home from the hospital.

amother

Maroon

Mon, Feb 15 2021, 10:24 am

clowny wrote:

I just had my fourth so I am not sure I qualify to have a say. I bh had my kids at home. I don't send my kids away after birth. I am feeling basically fine. As I wrote earlier in the thread, I have been cooking supper since day one. Since the baby is nursing and up during the night I am a little bit more tired in the morning.dh And I have been taking turns getting the kids out the door. I am able to drive and could do carpool, and today I am, the baby is 10 days old. I have one son who does not go on the bus, so my husband has been taking him in the morning and my brother has been picking him up most days... I rather not take the baby out everyday since it's cold. Other than that, we haven't had any help. Since I'm used to going out to work during the day, I'm a bit bored during the day. My husband always does a lot of The household responsibilities, so we're just continuing like usual.

clowny

Mon, Feb 15 2021, 10:34 am

amother [ Periwinkle ] wrote:

So you’re wondering how other women manage without the kimpeturin home? I’ve never been to one and my kids are home right after I come home from the hospital.

Nopes. You misunderstood. I’m not wondering at all. I know that some manage better than others and what means managing to one may not mean managing to another. This thread isn’t about managing.

I’m rather wondering and having a very hard time believing that some women are feeling perfectly normal the next day. And therefore I’m trying to clarify and understand what perfectly normal means.

amother

Bronze

Mon, Feb 15 2021, 10:36 am

clowny wrote:

What I’m guessing normal is- that you’re doing everything you did before giving birth. So if you’re getting dinners for several weeks, that means not back to normal yet.

It’s my community norm to get meals. Because I always give I have no problem accepting. Certainly I don’t ‘need’ melas but it’s how friends and neighbors show kindness in my community. But for me it’s not exhaustion that is my issue as I said. I do continue my household duties immediately (they are admittedly limited since my husband does the lions share of the cleaning)