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amother




Pink
 

Post Mon, Feb 15 2021, 9:23 pm
amother [ Turquoise ] wrote:
I'm sorry for all those mothers out there that think this is horrible. No wonder there are so many picky eaters. If the kid is generally not a picky eater I would probably offer something else. Your kid will not starve from skipping a meal. My sister in law will not give her children something else if they don't like dinner. She has been doing this for a long time now. Her children know they won't get something else and eventually they eat dinner, no matter what it is. My mom has had this experience a few times with some of my sibling and some of the grandchildren over the years. When they are super picky she offers them food by meal time, if they don't take she leaves it alone, they may skip a meal here or there, but eventually they start to eat everything you give them. None of the children I know are malnourished. I'm sure I will get criticized for this, don't really care. You are not a horrible mother.


Thank you for saying this. I think a lot of responses here are extremely dramatic. It's one meal. The child will be fine. At least he knows that when mom sets a boundary she means it. That, in my opinion, is a lot more important that offering the child a yogurt full of sugar or catering to his every whim. As I tell my kids: This is not a restaurant.
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amother




Aubergine
 

Post Mon, Feb 15 2021, 9:25 pm
amother [ Pink ] wrote:
Thank you for saying this. I think a lot of responses here are extremely dramatic. It's one meal. The child will be fine. At least he knows that when mom sets a boundary she means it. That, in my opinion, is a lot more important that offering the child a yogurt full of sugar or catering to his every whim. As I tell my kids: This is not a restaurant.


No, it's not a restaurant. That's why you shouldn't be cooking a second meal for whoever doesn't like the dinner. But it is a home and they should be able to take a yogurt or sandwich or anything quick. You're not running a military school, you're running a home and raising a family. It is controlling to force kids to eat only what you cooked or only chicken wether they like it or not.
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Laiya




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Feb 15 2021, 9:25 pm
Agree with those saying don't make it a power struggle. Have healthy foods available throughout the day, offer, and let him eat when he wants, or not, from your options.

If the doctor is concerned about weight gain then you might need a different approach.
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amother




Pewter
 

Post Mon, Feb 15 2021, 10:14 pm
I didn’t read everything but I have some experience with kids not eating.
My pediatrician recommended “how to get your kids to eat but not too much”
I like it a lot. It helps get rid of the power struggle.

We also needed OT for eating issues.
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#BestBubby




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Feb 15 2021, 10:14 pm
I agree with you, OP.

If you start catering to your 3 y.o. you will be forced to offer an alternative dinner every night.

Supper is take it or leave it.

Nothing terrible if he CHOOSES to skip a meal every once in a while.
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amother




Cyan
 

Post Mon, Feb 15 2021, 10:44 pm
amother [ Turquoise ] wrote:
I'm sorry for all those mothers out there that think this is horrible. No wonder there are so many picky eaters. If the kid is generally not a picky eater I would probably offer something else. Your kid will not starve from skipping a meal. My sister in law will not give her children something else if they don't like dinner. She has been doing this for a long time now. Her children know they won't get something else and eventually they eat dinner, no matter what it is. My mom has had this experience a few times with some of my sibling and some of the grandchildren over the years. When they are super picky she offers them food by meal time, if they don't take she leaves it alone, they may skip a meal here or there, but eventually they start to eat everything you give them. None of the children I know are malnourished. I'm sure I will get criticized for this, don't really care. You are not a horrible mother.


Actually, the way to increase picky eating is to make it into a power struggle. Being more laid back about what the child eats and letting him/her make choices leads to better eating in children. Just not making it into an issue is the key.

Yes, if they choose to skip a meal that is fine. But he didn't. He didn't want to eat the chicken and he was not offered any other part of the meal. Big difference.
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dankbar




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Feb 15 2021, 10:45 pm
This is clearly a fight. If you put down some
food in front of him, with diff choices & walk away. Don't look or get upset or force feed or bribe. Once the fight is not there, he will eat.

Some kids will rather starve to win the fight if they are stubborn. If he doesn't like chicken, and he can't get anything else, he will rather starve.

I remember my bro starving all summer in camp, because rule was if you bring your empty soup plate, you can get main course in it. Since he didn't like soup, he was never able to bring an empty bowl, so he never got food & starved
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dankbar




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Feb 15 2021, 10:48 pm
If he didn't want to eat anything all day, even food that he likes or if you offered anything else then he might not be feeling well and be coming up with something
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amother




Black
 

Post Mon, Feb 15 2021, 10:57 pm
#BestBubby wrote:
I agree with you, OP.

If you start catering to your 3 y.o. you will be forced to offer an alternative dinner every night.

Supper is take it or leave it.

Nothing terrible if he CHOOSES to skip a meal every once in a while.


So it’s ok for a 3 year old to go to bed without having lunch or dinner?
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Redbird




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Feb 15 2021, 11:05 pm
#BestBubby wrote:
I agree with you, OP.

If you start catering to your 3 y.o. you will be forced to offer an alternative dinner every night.

Supper is take it or leave it.

Nothing terrible if he CHOOSES to skip a meal every once in a while.


Offering more than just one dish for supper, or giving something that's child friendly, is hardly "catering"
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amother




Aubergine
 

Post Mon, Feb 15 2021, 11:16 pm
#BestBubby wrote:
I agree with you, OP.

If you start catering to your 3 y.o. you will be forced to offer an alternative dinner every night.

Supper is take it or leave it.

Nothing terrible if he CHOOSES to skip a meal every once in a while.


There's a huuuuuuuuge difference between "catering" to a child and only allowing the child to eat chicken and nothing else. A huge difference. Kids should always know that they have another option to choose from. A house shouldn't be run like a controlling military school.
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amother




Turquoise
 

Post Tue, Feb 16 2021, 12:05 am
It is not a power struggle if you don't offer anything else and you don't make a big deal about it. If the kid is hungry and not offered anything else they will eventually eat. I agree that you shouldn't make a huge deal about it and force the kid to eat. But you don't have to offer something else. If you just say nothing and leave the kid alone when they don't eat eventually they will know without you saying anything else that there are no other options. For all you mothers out there who believe there should always be other options I guess you don't mind making multiple dinners.
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familyfirst




 
 
 
 

Post Tue, Feb 16 2021, 12:12 am
Hard to please Picky eaters food wise. When my son was three years old I sent him to school every. Single. Day. With frozen pizza (heated before school, obviously). That was the only thing he’d eat and I gave it to him.

Your son is three. Big enough to have a semi serious conversation. Have a conversation about what He likes to eat and prepare it. He’ll eat what he chooses.

Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches
Macaroni and cheese
Grilled cheese
Eggs
Yoghurt
Cereal and milk (but limit the type of cereal and how often)
Pizza
Shnitzel


The kid needs calories.
And till today, I don’t love chicken and would faster eat cereal and milk.
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amother




Sienna
 

Post Tue, Feb 16 2021, 12:46 am
I cringed when I read the OP, just because I strongly dislike meat and chicken. So I'm lucky it wasn't me offered just chicken, I definitely would have gone to bed hungry like the 3 year old, even now as an adult.
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#BestBubby




 
 
 
 

Post Tue, Feb 16 2021, 1:27 am
amother [ Aubergine ] wrote:
There's a huuuuuuuuge difference between "catering" to a child and only allowing the child to eat chicken and nothing else. A huge difference. Kids should always know that they have another option to choose from. A house shouldn't be run like a controlling military school.


I would not offer chicken for supper every night if child doesn't like it.

Some nights could be beef burgers. Another night fish.

But I don't think parent has to offer two main courses every night.

If child doesn't eat supper once or twice a week, no big deal.

But probably child would eat a few bites once s/he knows there is no other option.
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dankbar




 
 
 
 

Post Tue, Feb 16 2021, 2:01 am
The way OP posted it seems like there was nothing else but chicken, which child didn't want/like. ( maybe she had other side stuff, but didn't present it that way) You don't need to make two mains or dinners every night, but if he ate the other stuff in meal, and not too much chicken, that is ok. Let's say if she also served a soup with some veggies in it, a starchy/veg side. Some fruit. Ok.
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sneakermom




 
 
 
 

Post Tue, Feb 16 2021, 2:04 am
Some kids are have delicate palettes. Some kids hate the feeling of being trapped, so they opt out of eating.

My youngest child is especially picky. She gets disgusted easily by texture and smell. I realized early on that she’s a perfect candidate for a future eating disorder. Therefore I made food a non issue. It’s readily available in all forms, literally. I would have fresh bread, fruit, proteins etc nearby and she grazed and ate.

I also made sure to have full fat ice cream and home made cake in the freezer. My doctor told me to feed it to her if she’s not eating anything else.

Well she’s thriving bh. And still very picky but now enjoys fleishigs very much. So go figure.
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amother




Mint
 

Post Tue, Feb 16 2021, 5:51 am
Let's say fish sticks are your backup backup food when the kid won't eat anything else.
If they know it's there, won't they always decline the healthier meal and go to that?
That was my experience. And while I'm okay with fish sticks occasionally, I don't want my kids to eat them every night.
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amother




Aubergine
 

Post Tue, Feb 16 2021, 7:56 am
amother [ Turquoise ] wrote:
It is not a power struggle if you don't offer anything else and you don't make a big deal about it. If the kid is hungry and not offered anything else they will eventually eat. I agree that you shouldn't make a huge deal about it and force the kid to eat. But you don't have to offer something else. If you just say nothing and leave the kid alone when they don't eat eventually they will know without you saying anything else that there are no other options. For all you mothers out there who believe there should always be other options I guess you don't mind making multiple dinners.


It is abusive to only offer one thing and that's it. The child eventually eats it because there's nothing else to eat and they don't want to go hungry. How would you like to be forced to eat something you don't like? Kids have tastes as well and don't have to like everything given. I never make multiple dinners, if a kid doesn't like what I cooked, they can take a yogurt, oatmeal, noodle soup......giving a child only 1 thing to eat and they must eat that is controlling and abusive.
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amother




Aubergine
 

Post Tue, Feb 16 2021, 7:58 am
#BestBubby wrote:
I would not offer chicken for supper every night if child doesn't like it.

Some nights could be beef burgers. Another night fish.

But I don't think parent has to offer two main courses every night.

If child doesn't eat supper once or twice a week, no big deal.

But probably child would eat a few bites once s/he knows there is no other option.


A parent doesn't have to offer 2 main courses. But if a child doesn't like the main course, they should be able to have something else. It's literally abuse to force a child to eat chicken and not let them have anything else at all.
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