Lo went to bed hungry

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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Toddlers

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amother

Apricot

Tue, Feb 16 2021, 8:04 am

mizle10 wrote:

If he doesn’t have to eat something he doesn’t want what would you do if he only wants a banana every night?

Here's the thing, if he doesn't want something, there is absolutely no way for me to force him to eat it short of holding him down and forcing it in. I won't do that.
He's 6. I have the foods he likes available. He gets only a specific amount of snack and nosh a day so he can't fill up on it.
We have "bravery toys and stickers". Big people are brave and taste a little bit of foods they've never had, and really big people like Mommy are brave and eat a little even if they don't like it. Anytime DC is brave and tastes something, he gets to choose a sticker or dollar store chatchke. Anytime he's brave and takes an extra bite he gets a sticker.

We're up to 5 bites of potato from the cholent.

This is not my first picky eater. I had another one who is now bar mitzvah and is reasonable. He'll eat most everything but chicken from the bone, mashed potatoes, tomatoes, tuna, and gefilte fish. I'm ok with that.

dankbar

Tue, Feb 16 2021, 8:06 am

People that say he wasn't hungry otherwise he would eat & not starve, some picky eaters just won't touch something they don't like no matter what.

If feeding him is an issue daily, then maybe you need more help like a feeding therapist or get to the bottom of it, to see why he is not eating. Is it allergies, food intolerances, digestion issues, sensory issues, distraction, power struggle.

There is a huge difference about weight/nutrition. If he skipped a meal but has enough body fat to fall back on for his energy or if he is a scrawny kid who needs to gain weight. Maybe a nutritionist can help you create a balanced diet plan working with his likes.

mizle10

Tue, Feb 16 2021, 8:25 am

amother [ Apricot ] wrote:

I agree it shouldn’t be forced. But that doesn’t mean she can have only yogurt and chocolate chips every night for supper. She’s now 9 and Bh eating more or less decently.

qwerty4

Tue, Feb 16 2021, 9:01 am

You are the adult in this relationship. Feeding him something he likes is on you. A child cannot be blamed for not eating and alternative choices must be given to him. If you do not give him what he would eat, you cannot force him to eat.
I never understood the concept of forcing a certain food on a child. I have food I won’t touch and I wouldn’t appreciate being forced to.

amother

Pewter

Tue, Feb 16 2021, 4:18 pm

Apricot- I love your idea about bravery toys. I want to try that.
Do you find that if your picky eater eats his own thing, it sets off a chain reaction with the other kids?
If I let my picky eater have a yogurt, then even the ones who like the supper want yogurt!

amother

Smokey

Tue, Feb 16 2021, 9:09 pm

Omg poor kid! I'm a mom of 4 little kids and know the feeling of kids refusing food but never ever ever do I allow them to go to sleep hungry. My3 year old can open the fridge and decide what he likes cereal/milk. Fruit. Cooked eggs. Cheese. Basically anything as long as I don't have to cook....doesn't like anything? Choose a snack! Also the pressure of forcing kids to eat protein becomes such a stress, are you in the mood of protein night?

amother

Blonde

Mon, Feb 22 2021, 6:39 pm

amother [ Violet ] wrote:

Horrible.
I remember sitting at the table and chewing the chicken for a half hour until it tasted like plastic, it just wouldn't go down.
How would you like to only get food you despise? Who cares if you were fed up?
There are so many other options you could have given as protein.
Why is it better to put him to sleep hungry than to be missing some protein?

At least give him a cookie or something before bed.

a cookie isn't a protein! And u should never give cookies for supper especially when the child is refusing what is offered. If u give in and give him the cookie it will reinforce the behavior and he will learn that if he refused what is being offered then he'll get the cookie.

amother

Chartreuse

Mon, Feb 22 2021, 7:04 pm

amother [ Aubergine ] wrote:

Kids are allowed to have taste buds and don't have to eat everything given. Of course a kid that knows they won't get anything else to eat eventually eats the dinner, they know they don't have another choice and they don't want to starve. They gave up trying to ask for something else. I don't know why you think this is a good thing. It's cruel to force a kid to eat chicken and if they don't eat chicken they can't have anything else. It's also cruel to force a kid to eat only the dinner you made and nothing else. Options and choices are good for everyone. It teaches the kids to have a good relationship with food.

She’s wasn’t talking about this being common practice for all children, this is when you are having a hard time with a child who is very picky. And while it is hard to do to a child it is far from cruel(of course there are limits, nobody should starve their kid for a week, everyone can agree that’s abuse don’t take this out of context). It is cruel to watch a child not develop properly and suffer as an adult. It’s kind of common sense, medicine doesn’t taste good but you know its important. As long as you give your kid medicine, send them to school or give them a bedtime your not giving them a choice. Yes, it’s healthy to give your kids choices and options but sometimes you have to put your foot down.

amother

Blue

Mon, Feb 22 2021, 8:32 pm

It’s a control thing. Very common at that age. I agree to just show him he’s in control ans he’ll stay hungry. He’ll learn quickly. Important to show him that it doesn’t stress you out too n

amother

Sapphire

Tue, Feb 23 2021, 2:14 am

So when my two year old decides she doesn't want to eat and then goes to bed and says she's hungry then all she is allowed is an apple.
She is the worse eater and I am so tired of fighting her

So yes op I fully get where you're coming from.

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