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Question on Shabbos table setting
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Elfrida




 
 
 
 

Post Tue, Feb 16 2021, 10:06 am
amother [ Orange ] wrote:
I plate normal, nice & appetizing. How long does it take to put a piece of fish on a plate? I feel like I'm on a different planet, most people I have ever eaten at do the same.


Longer than it takes to bring out a serving platter and let people pass it around. And that way people can choose which size they want.
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amother




Seagreen
 

Post Tue, Feb 16 2021, 10:10 am
amother [ Orange ] wrote:
No one sits down before washing. And no one touches their plates while standing around.


Many people do sit for kiddush and then the wine is passed around for people to drink while still at their seats.
That's what some posters are referring to about plates being touched or spilled on.
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amother




Orange
 

Post Tue, Feb 16 2021, 10:11 am
amother [ Seagreen ] wrote:
Many people do sit for kiddush and then the wine is passed around for people to drink while still at their seats.
That's what some posters are referring to about plates being touched or spilled on.


So I said we don't do that. No one sits down till after they wash.
If a plate somehow gets dirty, I don't use that plate.
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amother




Orange
 

Post Tue, Feb 16 2021, 10:13 am
Elfrida wrote:
Longer than it takes to bring out a serving platter and let people pass it around. And that way people can choose which size they want.


No, it does not take longer. My girls help me serve. It take 3 minutes to serve less than 10 people. Everyone eats challah and dips while I plate and serve the fish, then I wash and sit down. The idea of passing around a fish platter is unappetizing to me.
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Elfrida




 
 
 
 

Post Tue, Feb 16 2021, 10:14 am
amother [ Orange ] wrote:
No, it does not take longer. My girls help me serve. It take 3 minutes to serve less than 10 people. Everyone eats challah and dips while I plate and serve the fish, then I wash and sit down.


How are they eating challah and dips if they don't have a plate?

It takes less than a minute to bring a serving platter out of the kitchen.
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amother




Orange
 

Post Tue, Feb 16 2021, 10:16 am
Elfrida wrote:
How are they eating challah and dips if they don't have a plate?

It takes less than a minute to bring a serving platter out of the kitchen.


Who needs a plate for challa? All dips are in individual little dip bowls. They're out on the table in individual servings. There's also a charger at everyone's place.
I can't believe I'm being ripped apart for something so stupid.
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Ema of 4




 
 
 
 

Post Tue, Feb 16 2021, 10:22 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Weird thought but usually first course is challah and then it’s bringing in used plates. I find the top plates get all crumby from it. Am I making sense ?

We leave the challah and dips in the table while we have the fish.
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Ema of 4




 
 
 
 

Post Tue, Feb 16 2021, 10:27 am
Elfrida wrote:
I really don't like it when someone else decides on the type and quantity of food I am allowed to eat.

One can make a serving platter look pretty and still allow people their own choice. The only thing I serve plated is soup.

When I serve a plated appetizer, I put some on the individual plates, and then a platter in the middle.
Personally I really don’t like when people plate food for me. I’m very picky and also don’t have a big appetite, so I feel like there’s much more waste that way. If everything is on platters, I can take what I want and leave what I don’t. Whatever gets left on the platters can be saved, vs. whatever goes untouched in my plate still needs to be thrown out.
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amother




Mustard
 

Post Tue, Feb 16 2021, 10:29 am
Are we the only people who don't put out food before hamotzi on principle?

But yeah, if I went to someone's house and she took the small plates back into the kitchen, I would assume she had made a mistake setting the table. And I don't like having the fish plated for me because I don't like most kinds of fish. It would end up being wasted.
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Elfrida




 
 
 
 

Post Tue, Feb 16 2021, 10:31 am
amother [ Orange ] wrote:
Who needs a plate for challa? All dips are in individual little dip bowls. They're out on the table in individual servings. There's also a charger at everyone's place.
I can't believe I'm being ripped apart for something so stupid.


One normally puts challah on the plate while spreading the dips. Doing this all in mid air sounds somewhat strange to me. As does the idea of everyone sitting down with half a dozen little bowls full of dips in front of their place. If someone took my plate away, I would be waiting to continue with the meal until it was returned.
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amother




Powderblue
 

Post Tue, Feb 16 2021, 10:31 am
amother [ Mustard ] wrote:
Are we the only people who don't put out food before hamotzi on principle?

But yeah, if I went to someone's house and she took the small plates back into the kitchen, I would assume she had made a mistake setting the table. And I don't like having the fish plated for me because I don't like most kinds of fish. It would end up being wasted.


You are not the only one. We also don't put out any food before hamotzi.

And I also dislike fish and do not like when people plate fish for everyone. I don't eat it and don't eat anything else because I won't want to use the fishy plate for any other food there may be. (I am little neurotic like that) Challah it is!

Platters are the way to go imo.
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Elfrida




 
 
 
 

Post Tue, Feb 16 2021, 10:34 am
amother [ Orange ] wrote:
No, it does not take longer. My girls help me serve. It take 3 minutes to serve less than 10 people. Everyone eats challah and dips while I plate and serve the fish, then I wash and sit down. The idea of passing around a fish platter is unappetizing to me.


This I don't understand. You have your own lechem mishnah and make hamotzi seperately to the rest of the family?
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ShishKabob




 
 
 
 

Post Tue, Feb 16 2021, 10:38 am
amother [ Orange ] wrote:
Who needs a plate for challa? All dips are in individual little dip bowls. They're out on the table in individual servings. There's also a charger at everyone's place.
I can't believe I'm being ripped apart for something so stupid.
Does it feel better that I'm with you? I totally get you and I know lots and lots of super clean, sanitary people that do this. I guess if someone never heard of such a thing they are very wary of it. Don't take it to heart, this is imamother after all! Smile
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amother




Seagreen
 

Post Tue, Feb 16 2021, 10:39 am
amother [ Orange ] wrote:
Who needs a plate for challa? All dips are in individual little dip bowls. They're out on the table in individual servings. There's also a charger at everyone's place.
I can't believe I'm being ripped apart for something so stupid.


If it works for you, that's what you should do.
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amother




Orange
 

Post Tue, Feb 16 2021, 10:39 am
Elfrida wrote:
This I don't understand. You have your own lechem mishnah and make hamotzi seperately to the rest of the family?


Women by us don't do lechem mishna. This is the first time I'm hearing that women do their own lechem mishna.
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amother




Orange
 

Post Tue, Feb 16 2021, 10:39 am
amother [ Seagreen ] wrote:
If it works for you, that's what you should do.


And I shouldn't be ripped apart for doing so.
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amother




Orange
 

Post Tue, Feb 16 2021, 10:41 am
Elfrida wrote:
One normally puts challah on the plate while spreading the dips. Doing this all in mid air sounds somewhat strange to me. As does the idea of everyone sitting down with half a dozen little bowls full of dips in front of their place. If someone took my plate away, I would be waiting to continue with the meal until it was returned.


Everyone has a different normal, why can't you understand that.
There's a charger at everyone's place if someone wants to put their challah on a plate. We have 2-3 dips, not more.
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amother




Mustard
 

Post Tue, Feb 16 2021, 10:43 am
amother [ Orange ] wrote:
Women by us don't do lechem mishna. This is the first time I'm hearing that women do their own lechem mishna.


What do you mean? Usually you're included in the lechem mishna of whoever makes hamotzi. But if you go into the kitchen while everyone is eating challah and only wash afterwards, you weren't part of that lechem mishna and will need to make your own.
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Elfrida




 
 
 
 

Post Tue, Feb 16 2021, 10:43 am
amother [ Orange ] wrote:
Women by us don't do lechem mishna. This is the first time I'm hearing that women do their own lechem mishna.


I've not heard of woomen having theor own lechem mishnah. But I've also never heard of them not being chayav in lechem mishnah. THey normally fill their obligation along with the rest of family when the father makes hamotzi.
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Ema of 4




 
 
 
 

Post Tue, Feb 16 2021, 10:45 am
amother [ Orange ] wrote:
No one sits down before washing. I collect all the plates, not 1/2, when everyone leaves the room to wash, no one is at the table when I collect the plates. It's not ridiculous. I don't construct fancy plates, I don't know why you decided that, and it doesn't take 10 minutes to serve the fish. I usually ask everyone what they'd like.
I've seen so many people do this, I don't get why everyone is making such a big deal about it.

No one sits for Kiddush? So what do they do exactly? You may stand up for kiddush, but does no one sit after, while they drink? Everyone reaches over their chair back to get their cup and have some wine? That seems awkward to me.
You are collecting half the plates, because the big plates are still in the table. Assuming each seat has a big and small plate, that would be half the plates.
In terms of playing, as I’ve said, I (and many others) prefer to take for myself. The only time I plate is sometimes for Chaggjm or a Simcha.
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