Can hardly find anything that looks normal- hard to fit body

amother

Wed, Feb 17 2021, 11:24 am

Debated between posting this in emotional health or here. I guess it’s a vent but I’d take advice too.
My husband encouraged me to take a day off and go to the mall. I was thrilled and spent 4 hours in a beautiful huge mall. I must’ve tried on clothes in 10 or more stores and left only with one pair of shoes that I bought just to come home with something. Not one outfit I tried on looked normal, because of my weird body shape. I was always skinny but in the past few years I gained a lot of weight in my thighs, hips, and behind. I also started getting saddlebags lower on my thighs and by now they are pretty big. Pencil and straight skirts are completely out of the question because they make me look huge and gross. Even flared skirts don’t look great as the saddlebags show or the waist is too loose because I have to choose a large size to accommodate the thigh area. Dresses look terrible because straighter ones don’t fit and fit and flare still make me look like a very heavy pear shape with much extra material on top. I’m depressed over how my body looks and that I can’t find anything nice to wear. It’s been so long since I felt pretty in my clothes. I avoid weddings because I have nothing dressy to wear that looks normal on Me. I always loved fashion and shopping. Now I hate my body and feel so unattractive 😭 everyone around me seems to have proportional bodies. Even if they’re heavier they just look normal because their body looks balanced. My body looks normal on top but on bottom I’m so so much wider and I feel like I look like a x-mas tree 🎄

amother

Rose

Wed, Feb 17 2021, 11:27 am

every body type can be dressed nicely. look at some opera singers that weig over 150kg and look gorgous in their stage outfits.

I would suggest to consult a fashion expert/designer and ask which colouzre, prints, cuts , combinations, styles suit you.

then I would ask a seamstress to produce 2-3 beautiful outfits.

once you feel good in your clpthes it will be much easier to loose weight/work out, because you will feel it is worth it.

amother

Rose

Wed, Feb 17 2021, 11:31 am

or some politicians. like angela merkel. she definitely is not a classic beauty,. befre her carreer she looked VERY strange in my opinion (not to bash anyone, her looks definitely dont matter).

after she beacme famous she started wearing her typical outfit. its not stunning, but it definitely suits her and hides her not so nice areas, enhances the good ones.

none of her pant suits were bought ion a store. all are sown for her. and she loks very put together and messudar in my opinion. MUCH MUCH better than before (again: she is a politician not a hollywood star or fashionista, thats for sure, hardly anyone would want to copy her 'style'- but she looks neat and everything fits right. )

amother

Wed, Feb 17 2021, 12:18 pm

Just googled pics of Angela merkel.. no just no, I’m in my high 20s! I want to look my age! I want to wear cute clothes! I want to wear a slinky skirt to go to the grocery like every other person my age (but those are sooo out of the question). It’s gonna be spring soon and I won’t be able to hide under my long puffer...

amother

Navy

Wed, Feb 17 2021, 12:24 pm

What's your body type, so we can help you? You mentioned pear. Is that your shape?

https://www.stitchfix.com/wome.....type/

There are lots of guides like this one online. This was the first result on google, I didn't read through it but I've seen many of these articles and they can be helpful.

amother

Denim

Wed, Feb 17 2021, 12:27 pm

I feel you! I'm a similar shape and running into the same issues.
I've found fit & flare dresses that hit a little higher help me feel skinny because I'm much smaller on top and adding a pair of spanx or control top tights helps accentuate my waist. For the most part I wear A-line skirts and a fitted top/sweater helps me feel my best. I may not wear the latest style but I feel put together this way.

amother

Scarlet

Wed, Feb 17 2021, 1:12 pm

Op, I totally get your frustration!
I’m also a strange shape and clothing doesn’t ever fit right. I’m very short and a little overweight with most of the weight on my thighs.
I’ve found a few things at kohl’s online, amazon and in some Jewish stores. Almost EVERYTHING needs alterations! Even a simple top. Sleeves, length of top. Skirts need hems since I buy a big size, often I need the skirt tapered on the bottom since I need more room on top. Slinky skirt I bought 2 sizes bigger than I wear so it’s not clingy. Of course it had to be shortened.
A seamstress will be your best friend.
Go shopping again but this time have in mind that you are looking for things that can be altered for the right fit.
You will feel good when you find a few things 😀.
I used to shop for hours and find nothing. I would joke that I at least bought food to fill the clothing I will eventually find because after hours of shopping I got hungry and would buy something to eat but never clothing.
Once I started with alterations things changed.

amother

Jetblack

Wed, Feb 17 2021, 2:16 pm

OP, you're me. Or I'm you. You need to find a good dressmaker. It's hard but you have to do it. Have a couple of outfits made for when you need to look good. You'll spend way more than your friends do, but you have to do this. For every day buy separates- it's almost impossible to buy a dress, and have them tailored so you look your best. The problem is what you said. There are clothes for skinny people. They are clothes for overweight people. As long as their bodies are well proportioned they'll look great. You and I will never find something off the rack that looks normal on us. You can look good if you figure out what alterations you need to make things fit you and look good on your body.

amother

Wed, Feb 17 2021, 3:31 pm

amother [ Navy ] wrote:

I’m definitely a pear shape but it’s more than that, I have saddlebags which are literally large pockets of fat that bulge out.

amother

Wed, Feb 17 2021, 3:32 pm

amother [ Denim ] wrote:

That’s how I’ve basically been dressing but it gets really boring, to be so limited and to not be able to try different silhouettes.

amother

Wed, Feb 17 2021, 3:36 pm

amother [ Scarlet ] wrote:

You’re right. It just doesn’t feel great and fun to buy something that doesn’t fit and hope the alterations come out normal. It’s also $$$

amother

Wed, Feb 17 2021, 3:36 pm

amother [ Jetblack ] wrote:

Feels so good that someone gets me. Thank you!

amother

Seagreen

Wed, Feb 17 2021, 3:39 pm

An empire waist top or dress might work for you.
A well fitted blazer could help camouflage your hips etc
You probably will have better luck at a higher end store. Maybe try Nordstom's and use one of their personal shoppers, who can gauge which of their pieces would be most flattering on you.

amother

Denim

Wed, Feb 17 2021, 3:53 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

That’s how I’ve basically been dressing but it gets really boring, to be so limited and to not be able to try different silhouettes.

I guess I don't mind being boring, I feel prettiest when the clothes fit and flatter me so that's what I stick to. I sometimes wish I could try other styles but always come back to the same basics that look best on my body.

amother

Scarlet

Wed, Feb 17 2021, 4:13 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

You’re right. It just doesn’t feel great and fun to buy something that doesn’t fit and hope the alterations come out normal. It’s also $$$

Yes, that’s a risk. I’ve lost money on things that didn’t come out right but because of the things that did work out, I have clothing to wear.
These days I have 3 of the same skirts because I like how it fits. Each one hemmed and tapered...

amother

Lilac

Wed, Feb 17 2021, 4:18 pm

amother [ Denim ] wrote:

I was going to say the same

In fact pregnancy is really hard for me emotionally bc I always wear fit and flare, but when pregnant I have to wear big tops over fitted skirts for at least half the pregnancy until I'm big enough to reasonably wear oversized sack dresses lol. It's hard to not feel like myself bc I'm not wearing my usual style clothing, even tho I'm wearing what looks best on me at the time.

I know this sounds contradictort lol but I mean that one specific style became just my style bc that consistently is what looks good on me.