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Stop working but lose cleaning help
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amother




OP
 

Post Wed, Feb 17 2021, 9:44 pm
I am thinking of stopping to work since BH I have a large family and I’m having a hard time keeping this going - I’ve been working since I’m married so I never actually had the opportunity to be home with my baby... it would be a financial struggle, but it’s possible we could pull it off... my real question is - I have cleaning help every day now... and wouldn’t be able to afford that if I stop working... so basically I’ll go from being a paid professional to being a cleaning lady lol... I could totally see myself spending every morning straightening up after the kids leave to school...and then all the laundry!! Does it make sense to keep working just to pay a cleaning lady lol?!
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amother




Natural
 

Post Wed, Feb 17 2021, 9:46 pm
For me yes! I am not cut out to clean and organize and wipe down and sweep all day. Can you cut your hours at work?
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amother




Bisque
 

Post Wed, Feb 17 2021, 9:48 pm
I work to pay the cleaning lady/ housekeeper. Only make a little above what I pay her but it’s totally worth it to me. I rather do my job than hers. My kids are out all day though- I iyh hope to stay home after my next baby, either with cleaning help or without:)
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amother




Mustard
 

Post Wed, Feb 17 2021, 10:07 pm
I don’t have cleaning help right now because of coronavirus and it’s really not as bad as you would think.
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amother




Slategray
 

Post Wed, Feb 17 2021, 10:10 pm
Can you balance it out? Instead of stopping to work and stopping cleaning help, can you cut down on your hours and cut down on your cleaning lady's hours?
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bluejay




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Feb 17 2021, 10:14 pm
I did just that. Stopped my cleaning lady and significantly cut down on my work hours to be home more...and I am looooving it! But here's the disclaimer: I love keeping house, organizing, straightening up etc. so my opinion probably isn't very valuable toward your ultimate decision. Best of luck!
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tichellady




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Feb 17 2021, 10:17 pm
Really up to you. I prefer not to have a boss and no one is going to fire you if your house is messy or you skip laundry one day. But many people prefer to work than to clean their own homes. It’s a personality thing and also depends on expectations
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amother




Slateblue
 

Post Wed, Feb 17 2021, 10:24 pm
It’s very hard!! I have a medical condition so went from being a corporate professional to a SAHM. I kept my nanny while my baby was still home but now that she’s in school I can’t justify the expense anymore. I want to go back to work just to be able to afford more help!! So now I’m looking for something more flexible. Why don’t you go part time instead of quitting so you’ll have more time home but still be able to afford some help.
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Amarante




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Feb 17 2021, 10:27 pm
It probably pays to keep working because you will lose any kind of career advancement and it would be harder to start working again when you wanted.

Also Social Security payments are calculated on your income and that can be a significant amount when you retire.

Of course working with children is hard but that is something to throw into the mix but there are economic reasons why continuing to work makes sense even if a relatively large amount goes to expenses you incur because you are working
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ddmom




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Feb 17 2021, 10:33 pm
I would rather work a little less and cut back on cleaning help but I wouldn't stop working if I had to give up all the cleaning help.
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Just One




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Feb 17 2021, 10:51 pm
There's a story of a pregnant woman with an already large family who came to the Lubavitcher Rebbe and said she wanted to give up her job because she was feeling so overwhelmed. The Rebbe urged her to continue working so she would have that outlet and increase with an additional day of cleaning help for every additional kid (what happens after kid #7?🤷).

That's my modus operandi but I can see how it would be very individual. Just think, how are you on your days off? Do you stay energetic, motivated, on schedule? Or do you start to droop without the structure and outside stimulation?
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#BestBubby




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Feb 18 2021, 12:23 am
Why aren't the kids doing some of the cleaning?

We had a big family (9) and cleaning help, but I still did lots: wash dishes, vacuum, fold laundry,
straighten up rooms, go to the grocery, etc.

Most of of my chores were Erev Shobbos and Motzei Shobbos. All us kids pitched in.

Is kids helping out not done anymore?
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amother




Lawngreen
 

Post Thu, Feb 18 2021, 12:28 am
I could have done this with 1 kid or 2 but by the time I had 3 little kids, I just needed 8-9 hours of help a week, minimum. That's with little kids who make the floor filthy right after it's mopped. Maybe with older kids you get away with less cleaning. Also, I would personally work just to cover the pay, personality wise. With a baby, I'd try to work only part time though.
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amother




Chartreuse
 

Post Thu, Feb 18 2021, 12:40 am
I went part time (60%) and I’m finding it to be a really good compromise. I still have my outlet that’s away from the house and I can afford cleaning help to do the really tough cleaning, but I have enough time at home to take care of those tasks that are hard to delegate to someone else.
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mig100




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Feb 18 2021, 12:42 am
tichellady wrote:
Really up to you. I prefer not to have a boss and no one is going to fire you if your house is messy or you skip laundry one day. But many people prefer to work than to clean their own homes. It’s a personality thing and also depends on expectations


This.

For sure depends on the person. No one can answer it for you.
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amother




Silver
 

Post Thu, Feb 18 2021, 9:04 am
#BestBubby wrote:
Why aren't the kids doing some of the cleaning?

We had a big family (9) and cleaning help, but I still did lots: wash dishes, vacuum, fold laundry,
straighten up rooms, go to the grocery, etc.

Most of of my chores were Erev Shobbos and Motzei Shobbos. All us kids pitched in.

Is kids helping out not done anymore?


I don't have any cleaning help and my kids help a TON BH. But I get the impression that it's not so common nowadays Sad
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Amarante




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Feb 18 2021, 10:24 am
amother [ Silver ] wrote:
I don't have any cleaning help and my kids help a TON BH. But I get the impression that it's not so common nowadays Sad


I think it is very rare for children to be given the kind of chores and the quantity of chores that would replace a cleaning lady.

While children might be responsible for making sure their rooms are neat - or setting table - putting dishes in kitchen - I don't know anyone who has their children cleaning toilets; scrubbing floors, ovens or even doing lots of loads of laundry or any of the other chores that a cleaning lady generally does.
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#BestBubby




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Feb 18 2021, 10:48 am
Amarante wrote:
I think it is very rare for children to be given the kind of chores and the quantity of chores that would replace a cleaning lady.

While children might be responsible for making sure their rooms are neat - or setting table - putting dishes in kitchen - I don't know anyone who has their children cleaning toilets; scrubbing floors, ovens or even doing lots of loads of laundry or any of the other chores that a cleaning lady generally does.


True. We kids did not clean bathrooms, do laundry (did put away!), clean ovens/fridge, mop floors.

But 1-2 x week cleaning lady is enough for that (except for laundry which my mom did).

I notice that virtually all chassidish stay at home mothers have some cleaning help.
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amother




Yellow
 

Post Thu, Feb 18 2021, 12:03 pm
so, I think there are more factors involved rather than just cleaning help, but you wrote only about cleaning help being lost, so some things I would think about which may not apply to you

some full time "normal" salaried jobs are high pressured which means high stress, is this an issue for you? if yes, I would say leave your job bec even if you spend your time cleaning more, less stress makes a big difference

if your job is not stressful, one thing to consider is that as your children get older, married or college/after high school age...there are so many additional "extra" expenses, so if you wouldnt have extra money for a cleaning lady, would you have extra money for these additional expenses?

if you worked all these years, maybe continuing is best, again, depending on the stress level of your job

you said you are not managing, in what way?

I worked all my married life in a stressful job and even had to go back to work at 5 weeks after birth, so maybe you are burned out like me, maybe you are exhausted being up all night with baby and then having to "be on/alert" at work, so its too hard...but if I did it all these years, ill continue because I know I can help pay for the additional expenses for my kids plus my salary wil increase each year(does yours?) and my social security/retirement money will increase....

in my opinion, there are so many other factors involved besides just losing a cleaning lady....and im wondering what it means that you are not managing... I think those factors in terms of your stress etc managing appointments, sleepless nights, simcha obligations(pre covid), your own simchas, self care, etc should be more of a factor than just losing a cleaning lady

so, if it really is only about losing a cleaning lady and no other factors, then I would say to continue working because if you wouldnt have extra money for a cleaning lady, then maybe eventually, you will have to use that money for other expenses as your children get older....

are there other factors involved rather than just losing the cleaning lady?
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amother




Emerald
 

Post Thu, Feb 18 2021, 12:40 pm
I work full time with no cleaning help because I can't find anyone Crying

I'd say if you keep house everyday and make a set schedule for cleaning then it shouldnt be a big deal. but you have to like cleaning etc..
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