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I hit my son

Forum -> Parenting our children

View latest: 24h 48h 72h

amother

Mon, Feb 22 2021, 8:37 am

And I feel awful.
Age 6. He has a habit of scaring people. He did it to me twice today and the second time he really startled me. He quietly crept up behind me and tickled my back. It was so unexpected and I was so startled that I turned around and without thinking, smacked his face. Luckily I didn't make direct contact so it wasn't forceful and most likely didn't hurt but ds was shocked and humiliated- I can tell because he was grumpy the rest of the morning. I apologized right away and again later but he was upset, rightfully so.
I feel bad about what happened. Another hard day Sad

behappy2

Mon, Feb 22 2021, 8:40 am

You acted out of adrenaline (fight response) totally understandable. You can explain it to your kid (when a person feels attacked Hashem made our bodies gear up to protect ourselves and shuts down our reasoning) maybe he will stop scaring ppl. Smile

mommy3b2c

Mon, Feb 22 2021, 8:42 am

The same thing happened to me once. My son was probably 10 at the time. He jumped in front of me and yelled boo in my face. I was so startled that I slapped him in the face. HARD. He was also shocked. But as soon as my heart stopped poundings I told him I’m sorry and that I obviously didn’t mean to hurt him but if you’re going to scare the c*ap out of someone then they are going to react. And that reaction might be a slap in the face. We laughed about it and he learned his lesson.

amother

Seafoam

Mon, Feb 22 2021, 8:43 am

I know the feeling
My daughter once kicked me really hard unexpectedly and by instinct I hit back without thinking, she was about 3.
I couldn't forgive myself for a few days. I don't hit and this really came as a shock that I would react that way.
But I apologized, said it came as an automatic reaction and forgave myself. She doesn't remember and I think your son won't either. We all have our moments. Welcome to the human race, and Mommy world.

amother

Mon, Feb 22 2021, 9:32 am

behappy2 wrote:

This is a clear way of explaining. Thank you! If he's open to discussion I will talk to him later. Although I don't want it to sound like I'm excusing or rationalizing my actions.
Is it overkill to drop off a treat for him at school? It's on my way to work. Just so that he knows I love him and I'm thinking of him... or is that too dysfunctional?

behappy2

Mon, Feb 22 2021, 9:35 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I think it can make him feel insecure. He needs to see you as confident and capable. You need to get reassurance from inside you that you are ok, not from him.

amother

Cyan

Mon, Feb 22 2021, 9:37 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Just explain yourself once and that's it. Don't keep on discussing it or taking him a treat. I think it might make him feel embarrassed. You made a mistake, talk it over & apologize once, explain to him what happens when he scares and startles people, and go on with life. No need to keep on bringing it up again.

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