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amother


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Mon, Feb 22 2021, 9:26 am
I always had a certain passion and hobby towards something I always wanted do as building a business or working for someone , I just never got to doing it . In the mean time my sister started doing exactly what I always had in mind. just for some reason, and my hectic life, I never got to it. Now I'm really getting serious in taking the course and going fully into it. The only thing that is holding me back is being intimidated from my sister . I'm not sharing with her that I'm about to start it, because I know 100 percent that she will discourage me from doing it . I feel that it's a kind of work that is demanding all over . She has her people, I have mine , she has her neighbors , and friends that use her while I have mine . I don't feel like it should take away too much of her since it's always a need and not always does it come out that she is available or I, I can work for someone else , while she works for a different person. I'm here to ask if anyone would hold back from doing something you'd love doing and dreamed of just because your sister already does it ? I can't put down in words what the actual work is for confidentiality. But it's not a kind of work that could take away her business or work. Its so much my passion, always dreamed doing it. Now I finally am able to . It's not my fault that my sister went in earlier in this . Its like I know 2 sisters that are big sheitel machers. Actually I know of a few. Is it such a bad thing to do the same field as your sister?? I really still wanna do the right thing and be fair . Wonder what others think . I am struggling financially, and I feel that I do have this in me, and I do see potential, and a future working with this. Thinking if I should just jump into it , or hesitate just because of my sister ??? What would you have done??
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sequoia


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Mon, Feb 22 2021, 9:40 am
Copycat?
What is this, first grade?
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Elfrida


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Mon, Feb 22 2021, 9:50 am
I'm a nurse, and my sister is a nurse. We took different paths into nursing, and she actually qualified first despite being some years younger. I started in a different field, and had a few considerations before going in to nursing, but the fact that my sister worked in the field wasn't a factor one way or the other.
It's not the same, because you seem to be talking a possiblility of being in direct comptition with each other, which was never an issue for us, but I didn't let her accomplishments hold me back.
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yo'ma


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Mon, Feb 22 2021, 9:52 am
What about joining forces, if possible and if you would want to?
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Stars


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Mon, Feb 22 2021, 10:05 am
Communication is key. If she discourages you it’s probably because it’s a hard business to be in, not because she doesn’t want you following your passion.
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ora_43


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Mon, Feb 22 2021, 1:15 pm
I like amother-plum's compromise.
Whatever it is, there's got to be some way to take it in a slightly different direction. If she does graphic design for small businesses, you could start by looking for an in-house position, or maybe by focusing on work for private individuals. If she does caters gluten-free events, you could offer a gluten-free daily meal delivery service, or dairy-free brunch catering. If she's a Yiddish-to-Swahili translator who mostly works with authors, you can be a Yiddish-to-Swahili translator who mostly works with academics.
Whatever the dream is, there's got to be something very similar that's not quite what she's doing, yeah?
Even if it's a job with very little room for variety - say, doing electrolysis - you can market to a different community.
And then when you talk to her - which you should, don't just surprise her with it - I'd play up that aspect. "I realize now that I never told you, but I've actually been dreaming about Yiddish-to-Swahili translation for a while. When you started doing it, I was inspired by you and realized that I should just go for it. I'm not going to do exactly what you're doing, though, I'll be focusing more on... "
I do think you should go for it no matter what her reaction is. Two reasons: because sacrificing your career for her would be too much to ask for (and probably, too much for the relationship to take). And because whatever the job is, there's room for more than one person to do it. I mean, don't open a second kosher cupcake bakery right next to your sister's kosher cupcake bakery. Especially not if you live in, say, North Dakota. But if it's almost anything else, there are plenty of people doing it already. You're just one more.
But do emphasize that you won't be competing with her. And then do your best to actually not compete with her.
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ora_43


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Mon, Feb 22 2021, 1:19 pm
In general I think it's very common for siblings to go into the same or similar fields. Passions can run in the family. I definitely see it in my family, my dad and sister and I all have very similar dual degrees (and it's not a remotely common combination).
(We have/had very different jobs, in the end, ftr. Zero competition.)
And then, some people just have so many siblings that it gets hard not to have some overlap. I mean, if the oldest kid is a teacher, is teaching ruled out for kids #2-#11?
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zaq


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Mon, Feb 22 2021, 1:22 pm
Check with a rav about hassagat gvul. If you're starting a business that will compete with an existing, similar business in the same area, there may or may not be an issue, depending on whether the market can bear two such businesses in the same area.
If your rav gives you the green light, go for it. But as a PP said, before you open your business, you must tell your sister that you're doing so. A few days ahead would be fine IMO, not now while you're just studying. You don't want to tell her far enough in advance for her to discourage you, but you don't want her to find out through someone else.
If you have your heart set on doing this, I don't see why you can't just tune your sister out. She has no authority over you.
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