My 7 year old wants to be a model

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Forum -> Parenting our children -> School age children

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amother

Mon, Feb 22 2021, 4:25 pm

My daughter is a bright, inquisitive and beautiful 7 year old that is almost 30...
I am a bit nerdy and athletic. The programmer who dresses in sweatshirts all day and changes into a fresh sweatshirt for a run.... (No worries, I am pretty and get dressed up sometimes too. I appreciate the aesthetics too, but I'm just trying to give ya background.)
I want to support my daughter in developing her own self, even if its far from and unrelated to me.
She has been speaking a lot lately about wanting to model. She will pose like whatever she imagines a model should look like and ask me to take pictures. She loves looking at advertisements and picking out the girl models. and recently she told me that she wants to be a model too.
I was taken aback. I kind of brushed her off. But on second thought, I don't think I want to be brushing her off even if this is something that I personally am not so comfortable with. I want her to know that she can always be whatever she wants to be. I want her to be able to speak to me about it even if its the type of thing that my go against my take on the world.
On the other hand, she is 7. (lol, she can fool you any day...) and needs a mom to help her shape her world. I don't want her doing (or secretly dreaming about doing) stuff that define her as a body or a face.
I am sorry I am rambling.
I would love to get some perspective from other Moms.
Conversations to have, Practical advice and application, Opinions- I would love to hear it all.

Zehava

Mon, Feb 22 2021, 4:29 pm

You can validate her desire without actually allowing her to go through with it.
“Oh yeah modeling would be so fun! You’d get to pose and have your picture published all over!”

amother

White

Mon, Feb 22 2021, 4:34 pm

There are Jewish owned companies looking for children models all the time.
Using her modeling talent is not just using her body or face, just like using singing or artistry talents are not just about using the voice or hands.
It is about expressing herself.
If there is a Kosher outlet for it, why not?
It can teach her boundries like tznious if you coah her through it.

amother

Lime

Mon, Feb 22 2021, 4:39 pm

She's seven, good grief. When I was seven everyone in my class wanted to be a ballerina except one girl who wanted to be a doctor. Number of ballerinas in my graduating class: 0 Number of doctors (that I know about) out of a class of almost 100: 10

FTR there are such things as hand models, foot models, hair models, face models...it's not all posing in underwear and swimsuits.

Except for the fact that modeling is usually used to sell something, why is modeling materially different from singing? Aren't you also being defined as a voice?

amother

Black

Mon, Feb 22 2021, 4:40 pm

When I was 7, I daydreamed and talked about becoming all sorts of things that would never cross my mind in a million years now. I wanted to be a ballerina, a farmer, a dancer, a singer, a fashion designer, a model, an actress..... I never did any of those things!!! My mom let me daydream and talk about this stuff but never specifically encouraged me. Once I was old enough to actually decide what to do with my life, there were many other factors that needed to be sensibly taken into account. And obviously I had a lot more seichel to do it.

I wouldn't make a big deal about it either way at this point.

cutestbaby

Mon, Feb 22 2021, 4:40 pm

This is like a 3 year old telling you he wants to be a fire truck. "Yeah for sure sweetie, you should definitely do that!" It's a phase, she'll outgrow it soon enough. Humor her in the meantime

amother

Turquoise

Mon, Feb 22 2021, 8:11 pm

I wanted to be a model, and I was stopped in the mall all the time by model scouts. I’m very, very lucky that my parents steered me in a different direction. You can teach your daughter she can be anything she wants to be EXCEPT for a few things. You don’t have to take this concept to the extreme.
(The other things they didn’t let me be was a dancer or a cheerleader.)
And yes, I have a somewhat unusual career today That I’m very lucky they supported.

amother

cornflower

Mon, Feb 22 2021, 10:03 pm

As others have posted, childhood ambitions are not to be taken seriously.

Typically many girls want to be princesses, actresses or other glamorous profession.

And even parents can't really control what their children grow up to be.

My. mother desperately wanted me to be a scientist and so I had lots of books about Marie Curie, Dr. Elizabeth Blackwell and one of those Visible Woman plastic things and a chemistry set.

She also got my an easel and gave me piano lessons - I am not a doctor, artist or concert pianist. Very Happy

amother

Mistyrose

Mon, Feb 22 2021, 10:07 pm

At that age, I thought being a waitress would be a glamorous career choice. I used to imagine myself in a uniform with a swirly skirt, hair up in a bun, a pencil behind my ear and a fancy little clipboard for writing orders. Very Happy

amother

Brunette

Mon, Feb 22 2021, 10:11 pm

Wants to be a model when she grows up or wants to be a child model now?

amother

Tue, Feb 23 2021, 1:16 am

She wants to be a child model now.

amother

Tue, Feb 23 2021, 2:43 am

amother [ Lime ] wrote:

On the one hand I wouldn't encourage every 4 year old boy to be a fire truck driver. But having 10% of the class becoming doctors might indicate that people are choosing careers based on a societal pressure and less based on their inclinations. The latter is not something I want for my daughter.
She happens to also look like most of the child models that are featured in our area. She isn't coming out of left field with this.

Success10

Tue, Feb 23 2021, 2:46 am

The child modeling scene is not as glamorous as your dd may think, and it sends terrible messages to children from a young age. This isn't about pressuring her to fit your mold of what you think she should be. It's about protecting her from permanent damage.

amother

Brunette

Tue, Feb 23 2021, 2:55 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

She wants to be a child model now.

My brother did some modeling/ acting work when he was little. It's unbelievably boring. My mother would take him to auditions where they sat around in waiting rooms for hours. Even when he got a job it was hours of hanging around all day just for a few pictures or to say three words for a commercial. Most kids can't stand it. (Most mothers can't either). Trying it out could be the cure.

Elfrida

Tue, Feb 23 2021, 3:14 am

My.mother had a friend who was a children's clothes buyer for a very well known shop on England, and she would often give my mother clothes samples for us. A few times people we didn't know came and took photos of us playing in the garden wearing our new clothes.

That was all we ever knew about it. I suppose we were modelling the clothes, and I don't know where the photos were used afterwards. They stayed in the background. My mother told us to just ignore them and do what we wanted.

In retrospect, she managed it very well. She obviously specified no posing or make up, and natural lighting, spontaneous type photos only. We didn't know what it was about and never became self conscious about it. I would have hated real modelling, but was barely aware that this was even happening.

amother

Salmon

Tue, Feb 23 2021, 3:26 am

I would validate her desire without furthering or implementing it.
We are protective of our kids and would not want them to have that much exposure in the public world.
Especially our beautiful girls.
Not worth it.
Follow your gut. There is a reason it goes against your take on the world as you put it.
You can let her develop as her beautiful self, different than you, without overriding your judgement as her mother and honoring your intuition.