 |
|
|
|
|
DrMom
|
 Tue, Feb 23 2021, 9:15 am
| amother [ cornflower ] wrote: | I am so frustrated with people here. I said HOW I WOULD FEEL based on my relationship with my daughter and the past history we share. I said in my circles. I don’t know if you are in a very different societal culture, if you are young and view yourself as not much older than her and independent and resent people thinking your age is not an adult, have/came from a dysfunctional family and have a poor relationship with your parents, or any of 12,000,000 different reasons.
Here what people are saying without forcing your own agenda.
I’m out, not because I am offended, but because why bother. Dialogue need people to actually hear what you say and not talk over you.
OP, I don’t know if my point were helpful or irrelevant to you. Best of luck. |
Not sure what you want us to say. You say that YOU FEEL that your daughter is still a child and that the final decision is yours alone.
Okay - some people feel that way about their 30-year-old children.
What do you want from us?
| |
|
| Back to top |
1 
26 
|
amother
Amethyst
|
Tue, Feb 23 2021, 9:19 am
OP, I can tell that you are upset and frustrated because your dd did something against your wishes that you do not feel was in her best interests. That has got to be very upsetting.
That said, as a mom of several adult kids, this is something that happens and will continue to happen as they grow up and away from the home. You don't say whether she was coerced or made the decision against your expressive wishes, but either way she is legally an adult and is permitted to make these types of decisions for herself.
OP, take some time to process your feelings, as they are valid. However, once processed, you can begin to start living the new reality where your children don't always follow your advice and oftentimes make mistakes. It can be really hard to watch!
Hatzlacha.
| |
|
| Back to top |
1
21
|
Elfrida
|
Tue, Feb 23 2021, 9:25 am
| amother [ Silver ] wrote: | | Actually there is a problem with this issue. There are many American girls who had covid in America and don't have Israeli documentation so according to Israeli rules they can't get the ishur machlim, technically they aren't supposed to get the vaccine and then they can't get the ishur in any way so they are being told to just take the vaccine because they can't prove with Israeli documents that they had covid. |
They can bring the documentation from America to their doctor, who can then authorize a serological (antibody) test. If that comes back positive he can give them an אישור מילים על סמך נוגדנים. There's a special form for it.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
13
|
Elfrida
|
Tue, Feb 23 2021, 9:49 am
| amother [ Silver ] wrote: | 1. Many don't have documentation because in America last year many weren't getting tested.
2. We had documented antibodies from America and the drs in Israel would not even use that as evidence to refer my daughter for antibodies testing. They just kept telling her to just get the vaccine. I fought and fought and finally she got tested and had very high antibodies still. So now she can finally get that ishur but it was very hard and everyone from the seminary to the drs really tried to not allow that to happen. |
If they never got tested and there's no evidence that they had Corona, there isn't much to do about it.
Relying on antibody tests isn't encouraged because no one really knows how long the antibodies really last. The early antibody tests were unreliable, and generally one country/medical system doesn't like relying one what was done in another system.
The ishur machlim will expire anyway at the end of June, and people who have had Corona will be expected to get the vaccine by then, so a lot of doctors are saying not to waste time on antibodies and just do the vaccine anyway.
However I'm glad you agree that it is an option, and got what you wanted.
It is not clear whether this ishur will give her an exemption from bidud if she leaves the country for Pesach and is able to come back.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
6
|
cutestbaby
|
Tue, Feb 23 2021, 9:50 am
I'm sorry, this must be hard for you. But... your child is nearly an adult, yes? If she comes home from seminary in June and tells you she wants to start dating, I'm assuming you would let her.
If she's ready to get married in a couple of months, then she is old enough to make her own decisions in pretty much any area of life. That's what being an adult means, and all you can do is accept that.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
23
|
amother
Honeydew
|
Tue, Feb 23 2021, 10:03 am
| amother [ OP ] wrote: | | Quote: |
Are you upset at your daughter or at the seminary? Are you worried about her or feel hurt that she has different views than you have? How does she feel about it?
|
It seems like my daughter went around seminary rules. Seminary required the consent form. Unless that changed, but I think it didn't. I didn't ask. In any case, I'm sure the seminary said that people should take and it will be fine, but there are still those who didn't take because of no consent from parents. I'm not sure even how different her views are than mine. I believe she thinks it's possible the vaccine can cause a problem, but she wants laxer covid rules now. She decided the tradeoff was worthwhile after a lot of thinking. I think she might already be regretting her decision. I hope she has the tools to deal with that, and if someone is going to worry, it seems not worth it to take the vaccine even if it does not do physical harm in the end. It seems like she took the vaccine for freedom, not for medical reasons. |
Do you think she might be having "buyer's remorse" because of your extreme reaction?
She is nearly an adult, if you are using guilt to control her ("it will upset my mother") then it is time to let go.
I understand this is hard for you, individuation is a separation for both the child and adult, but you are stifling her development as a person. This is an important developmental milestone.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
21
|
FranticFrummie
|
Tue, Feb 23 2021, 10:10 am
OP, could you clarify something for us?
How old was your DD when she went into sem? If she was 17, then I would understand needing a parental consent form.
If she had a birthday and turned 18 while in sem, then the consent form would no longer be legally valid.
The difference between 17 and 18 makes all the difference in the world.
I have never heard of an 18yo needing parental consent for anything, in any country.
I understand your concerns. I let DD decide if she wanted the HPV vaccine. She did a lot of research, talked to her doctors, and decided to get it. That vaccine has a disturbing rate of potential vaccine injury, but she decided it was worth the risk. Her body, her choice.
I'm still nervous for her, but all I can do is daven.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
10
|
DrMom
|
Tue, Feb 23 2021, 10:40 am
| amother [ Brown ] wrote: | | They don't want the documented from America, they want the antibody test done in Israel. |
As I understand it, you may need documentation from the doctor who treated or diagnosed you in order to get the test from the kuppah.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
1
|
tweety1
|
Tue, Feb 23 2021, 11:14 am
| amother [ Orchid ] wrote: | Oh my god what’s wrong with people. OP literally said she’s looking for empathy. If you can’t look past your own opinion to offer that then go post on a different thread.
I’m sorry OP, it must be so hard to see your daughter do something you aren’t sure is best for her. I hope only good comes from it! |
Love this!
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
1
|
|
Imamother is a community of frum Jewish women, where you can come to relax,
socialize, debate, receive support, ask questions and much more.
© 2021 Imamother.com - All rights reserved
|  |
