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Juggling babies, home and work
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Poll

What do you think?
You’re spoiled  
 3%  [ 2 ]
Get help  
 96%  [ 50 ]
Total Votes : 52


amother




OP
 

Post Tue, Feb 23 2021, 3:22 pm
I’m trying to figure out if I’m rightfully overwhelmed or if I should figure it out.
I have a 3 yo who goes to school 9:30-3:00 and a 4 months old who stays home with me.
I have a business I (try to) run from home, no family around to help, my husband works long hours, I have a cleaning lady who comes twice a week for 3 hours each time. My baby is still nursing, and I’m constantly tired and usually crash after I get the kids to bed (6:30 baby, 7:30-8 toddler)
I feel like I’m not able to get anything done during the day, baby won’t follow a nap schedule and I don’t really have an evening. Anything I manage to do during the day is usually a very small thing out of the hundreds I have to get done. How does everyone else do it?

Edit: would you personally send your baby to a babysitter or try to get in House help?
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tichellady




 
 
 
 

Post Tue, Feb 23 2021, 3:28 pm
I can’t imagine working with a baby at home. I don’t have easy babies and I spent most of the time I’m awake caring for them. You need childcare help if you want to work in my opinion
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amother




OP
 

Post Tue, Feb 23 2021, 3:41 pm
tichellady wrote:
I can’t imagine working with a baby at home. I don’t have easy babies and I spent most of the time I’m awake caring for them. You need childcare help if you want to work in my opinion

Were you able to be on top of laundry/ clean house/ dinners/ shabbosim as well in the baby stages?
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tichellady




 
 
 
 

Post Tue, Feb 23 2021, 4:00 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Were you able to be on top of laundry/ clean house/ dinners/ shabbosim as well in the baby stages?


No way! My baby didn’t sleep I didn’t sleep and I was just trying to get through each day.
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tichellady




 
 
 
 

Post Tue, Feb 23 2021, 4:01 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Were you able to be on top of laundry/ clean house/ dinners/ shabbosim as well in the baby stages?


No way! My baby didn’t sleep I didn’t sleep. Goal was to just get through the day taking care of baby and myself. Once I started caring more about Shabbos and dinner and how the house looked I got some help
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tichellady




 
 
 
 

Post Tue, Feb 23 2021, 4:03 pm
If you can afford it I would get someone to come to your house who could either help with the baby or cleaning, depending on what you want at the moment. Even better if it’s someone who could help with your business as well
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amother




Seafoam
 

Post Tue, Feb 23 2021, 4:06 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
I’m trying to figure out if I’m rightfully overwhelmed or if I should figure it out.
I have a 3 yo who goes to school 9:30-3:00 and a 4 months old who stays home with me.
I have a business I (try to) run from home, no family around to help, my husband works long hours, I have a cleaning lady who comes twice a week for 3 hours each time. My baby is still nursing, and I’m constantly tired and usually crash after I get the kids to bed (6:30 baby, 7:30-8 toddler)
I feel like I’m not able to get anything done during the day, baby won’t follow a nap schedule and I don’t really have an evening. Anything I manage to do during the day is usually a very small thing out of the hundreds I have to get done. How does everyone else do it?

Edit: would you personally send your baby to a babysitter or try to get in House help?

If you have a business you are trying to run please send your baby to a babysitter
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tichellady




 
 
 
 

Post Tue, Feb 23 2021, 4:12 pm
Keep in mind that in most of the world women are not back at work until 6 months to a year postpartum
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elisheva25




 
 
 
 

Post Tue, Feb 23 2021, 4:53 pm
So really I think a lot depends on what kind of a baby you have.
At 4 months for your own sanity there has to be some kind of a routine .
If the baby is also not letting you sleep at least somewhat @ night..... you won’t function normally to get anything done
So based on what you described, get help ... don’t send baby out at 4 mos
Get someone to come to the house & help out for few hours in the morning
Make that person watch the baby & do light house work ... so you can get a quick nap & work on business
And for sure try to create some sort of a routine
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amother




Emerald
 

Post Tue, Feb 23 2021, 5:12 pm
I would bring in a sitter and go somewhere out of the house to work. As long as you're home, you're still on call as it were, and your head is not devoted entirely to business. Bring in a sitter, rent a space if you have to or go to the public library or Starbucks, do what needs to be done and go home.
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amother




Ivory
 

Post Tue, Feb 23 2021, 5:59 pm
I'm biased. I think the issue is that you're running your own business. If you had a boss on your head it would be easier to make it work.

I can say this because I have a business AND I am a salaried employee and there is no question which is harder to get done with kids home, I have more kids than you, work from home, have no paid cleaning help, and my toddler is home with me all day.

It's hard OP but you can do it.
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amother




Mustard
 

Post Tue, Feb 23 2021, 6:08 pm
When I married DH I was a huge martyr. It did me well in my single years. I too have a business and I saved up a lot as a single girl. Enough to put down 20% on the 500k home we bought in the 1st year we were married. When I had my 1st I sent her out, but only just enough to work, never any more than that. I didn’t work Friday’s so I kept her home and cooked with her on my head. I kept her home in the 9 days and any other time I could get away with not paying. With my 2nd pregnancy I was feeling very run down and I reluctantly agreed to a nurse. I was being so cheap that I took her for a week then got rid of her and took a diff one back from weeks 4-6 so I could go back to work before a babysitter would take her. Well I had #3 and my entire attitude changed. I have a lot of help now, I’m happy to take extra when I need it even just to nap or to do errands. But I don’t think if someone had told me I’d be like this it would have changed anything. I still would have driven myself crazy till I learned the hard way
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tichellady




 
 
 
 

Post Tue, Feb 23 2021, 6:44 pm
amother [ Ivory ] wrote:
I'm biased. I think the issue is that you're running your own business. If you had a boss on your head it would be easier to make it work.

I can say this because I have a business AND I am a salaried employee and there is no question which is harder to get done with kids home, I have more kids than you, work from home, have no paid cleaning help, and my toddler is home with me all day.

It's hard OP but you can do it.


Just because you can do it doesn’t mean everyone can. And a toddler and a four month old nursing baby are two very different situations. There is also a difference between doing something and surviving and thriving and enjoying your life and children. Op may need help to be at the second level ( and I think most people do)
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amother




OP
 

Post Tue, Feb 23 2021, 7:07 pm
amother [ Ivory ] wrote:
I'm biased. I think the issue is that you're running your own business. If you had a boss on your head it would be easier to make it work.

I can say this because I have a business AND I am a salaried employee and there is no question which is harder to get done with kids home, I have more kids than you, work from home, have no paid cleaning help, and my toddler is home with me all day.

It's hard OP but you can do it.

Alright, teach me your ways I’m all ears.
Also is your house constantly spotless, dinners always made on time, laundry always caught up, etc?

Thanks for the replies please keep them coming I’m figuring this out
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amother




Copper
 

Post Tue, Feb 23 2021, 7:09 pm
It doesn't matter if you are working in the house or out of the house. If you are working you need a childcare plan for those hours.
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Frumme




 
 
 
 

Post Tue, Feb 23 2021, 7:25 pm
It's definitely difficult. I understand how childcare is hard to find these days, too. At that age, try sticking baby into a bouncer, bounce with one foot while you stand working at a bar countertop. Or get a baby swing and put her in it for 20-30 min at a time to get a few chunks of work done here and there. Alternatively, get a sturdy baby carrier and wear her while you work at a countertop/standing desk
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amother




Goldenrod
 

Post Tue, Feb 23 2021, 7:32 pm
I have a 1 year old, I work full time and my husband works long hours. My house is clean, suppers are ready on time, and I do 1 load of laundry every day so it doesn't pile up.
I think you need to send your baby out to a babysitter while you work, and then focus on cleaning up at night after the kids go to sleep. Do one chore or one room per night plus a load of laundry. What else are you doing in the evenings after 730? It seems like you are burnt out from trying to get things done with your 4 month old during the day, so you collapse at night. Get work done when your baby is out at a babysitter and then manage the house at night.
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amother




Yellow
 

Post Tue, Feb 23 2021, 8:37 pm
If you’re trying to work part-time I think it’s possible, 4 months is the easiest age. If full time you probably can’t.
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amother




Lemon
 

Post Wed, Feb 24 2021, 9:28 am
How dependent are you on your income?

IMHO, babies should not be sent out. They belong at home with their mothers. Besides, how are you going to outsource nursing? You are the only one who can do that.

IYH you'll have the rest of your life to work, but you only get a few precious months with a baby. Please don't rush him out of your life just for work. It's not fair to either of you.
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amother




Ivory
 

Post Wed, Feb 24 2021, 9:38 am
tichellady wrote:
Just because you can do it doesn’t mean everyone can. And a toddler and a four month old nursing baby are two very different situations. There is also a difference between doing something and surviving and thriving and enjoying your life and children. Op may need help to be at the second level ( and I think most people do)

I have a 2yo, a 5mo, and two older kids, who have all been home for months. Good enough for you?

BTW having done both I can tell you that 2yo and 5mo is much tougher than 3yo and 5mo.
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