Home

How much money do you spend on yourself a week?
  Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8  Next  Last >>
 
Post new topic   Reply to topic    Forum -> Shopping


View latest: 24h 48h 72h


amother




OP
 

Post Wed, Feb 24 2021, 7:17 pm
amother [ Floralwhite ] wrote:
If you can’t afford it you need to cut back no matter if other women spend more or less.
[b]

It’s not about affording or not. It’s a concept.
Back to top

Malkqueen




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Feb 24 2021, 7:18 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
So how do you go about spending on your needs. Is it just swipe ?


You need to be accountable to yourself and your budget, even if you don't have an "allowance".
Figure out your budget. If there's less wiggle room, figure out what's a must and what you can do without. What I or anyone else spends is irrelevant to your own personal finances.
Back to top

nchr




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Feb 24 2021, 7:19 pm
amother [ Fuchsia ] wrote:
Can you explain?


Having a salary or allowance doesn't mean the wife is a child. It depends on the person, the setup, etc. Many people do it successfully, and even powerful women do this.
Back to top

amother




Cyan
 

Post Wed, Feb 24 2021, 7:21 pm
My dh delight is, if I purchase something for myself... I hardly have things I need.
Back to top

HeartyAppetite




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Feb 24 2021, 7:22 pm
In the book The surrendered wife she writes to give over all finances to dh. And ask him to give you the amount of cash you need for the week.
Back to top

amother




Fuchsia
 

Post Wed, Feb 24 2021, 7:26 pm
nchr wrote:
Having a salary or allowance doesn't mean the wife is a child. It depends on the person, the setup, etc. Many people do it successfully, and even powerful women do this.


I can do this by myself, without another person allotting me a certain amount of money. I have a separate bank account where I transfer in the money that I can spend freely, and use that as my budgeting tool for it. Why do I need another person giving me that money? If a person has no self control or a spending problem, I totally get it. But otherwise, it does sound like a parent-child arrangement.
Back to top

amother




Coral
 

Post Wed, Feb 24 2021, 7:29 pm
nchr wrote:
Why not? I know so many people living like this and it's much easier. Literally the best thing and you can save from week to week or readdress if problematic but it's so practical. I think it depends on the person.

Is he your parent?
It is one thing to sit down together and decide that based on the budget, that you can each spend $xx on extras, or even factoring manicures etc. into the budget, but him giving you an allowance is disturbing and condescending to me.
Back to top

nchr




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Feb 24 2021, 7:30 pm
amother [ Fuchsia ] wrote:
I can do this by myself, without another person allotting me a certain amount of money. I have a separate bank account where I transfer in the money that I can spend freely, and use that as my budgeting tool for it. Why do I need another person giving me that money? If a person has no self control or a spending problem, I totally get it. But otherwise, it does sound like a parent-child arrangement.


According to the kesiba your husband is supposed to aupport you financially so you can do what works for you but I don't see why it is parent child. To each her own.
Back to top

amother




Fuchsia
 

Post Wed, Feb 24 2021, 7:32 pm
nchr wrote:
According to the kesiba your husband is supposex to shpaiz you so you can do what works for you but I don't see why it is parent child. To each her own.


Providing 'shpaiz' doesn't mean he's handing you allowances. All it means is that he will bring in the income so that you can buy the necessities.
Back to top

amother




Teal
 

Post Wed, Feb 24 2021, 7:36 pm
Pre-covid, my spending looked like this. Breakfast to go 3 or so days a week. Lunch out, again around 3 days a week. Weekly massage and manicures twice a month. New work clothes as needed to maintain a professional polish. I do buy high end workwear so a shirt can run me $300 and a skirt could be custom for $250, but the quality is there. I buy aquatalia boots for rain, carry Cuyana purses, etc. At the end of the day, my lunches are comped by my firm. Parking, comped. Clothes, accessories, etc. are basically a business expense. Massages, manicures, facials, etc. are for me. Outside of my business life, at home, I'm in sweatshirts and wear $20 amazon skirts and basic sneakers. I'm not trendy IRL and rarely even wear my sheitals on my off time. Or makeup. Never wear that on weekends. I look like a totally different person. So weekly, for work, my spending could be a few hundred or if I'm adding to my workwear, a few thousand. But for context, I make quite a lot of money and can easily spend this without blinking. I don't remember the last time I thought about what something cost. Not all my big purchases are just for me though. I surprised my husband with a weeklong trip to St. Lucia. It was first class, all the way. Probably ran us 15k. We didn't sit and discuss the cost or anything. Bh, I can spend like this so for us, no big deal.

EDITED to add: I have a personal trainer in my home, 3 times a week, for an hour each session. And to answer the question of what I do - I'm an attorney.
Back to top

nchr




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Feb 24 2021, 7:38 pm
amother [ Fuchsia ] wrote:
Providing 'shpaiz' doesn't mean he's handing you allowances. All it means is that he will bring in the income so that you can buy the necessities.


I edited my post to fix that.
No, it isn't required to have an allowance but its ok if a couple feels it works for them. It doesnt need to ve degraded.
Back to top

amother




Fuchsia
 

Post Wed, Feb 24 2021, 7:42 pm
nchr wrote:
I edited my post to fix that.
No, it isn't required to have an allowance but its ok if a couple feels it works for them. It doesnt need to ve degraded.


If it works for them, it works for them. But that doesn't mean it's not a parent-child setup.
Back to top

OOTforlife




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Feb 24 2021, 7:45 pm
nchr wrote:
Having a salary or allowance doesn't mean the wife is a child. It depends on the person, the setup, etc. Many people do it successfully, and even powerful women do this.


And men do it too sometimes, according to this 2012 article, https://www.bbc.com/news/business-19674306

Quote:

Why male Japanese wage-earners have only 'pocket money'

The 15th of each month is a big day for 36-year-old Yoshihiro Nozawa: it is the day he gets paid.

But every month, he hands over his entire salary to his wife Masami.

She controls the household budget and gives him a monthly pocket money of 30,000 yen ($381; £243). Despite being the breadwinner, that is all the money he can spend on himself over the next 30 days.

"The last five days from the 10th of each month are usually the toughest," says Yoshihiro.

.....

According to a survey conducted by research firm Softbrain Field, 74% of Japanese household budgets are controlled by women and it is not just couples with young children.
Back to top

amother




Peach
 

Post Wed, Feb 24 2021, 7:56 pm
OP posted "Of course, you do u! Im working hard on budgeting and I love hearing how others work on / through that.( bc I like the finer things )"

when I said I don't need anyone's approval, I was referring to dh, not to you. You didn't say why you were asking, and I figured you were going to try to justify your own expenditures to your dh based on the answers you got from other women. I would assume that a dh who gives his wife an allowance might have an opinion on how she spends it. If yours doesn't, ashrech. My point being that because I earn my own money and don't get an allowance from my dh (cringeing at the thought), I'm free to do with my money as I like. Which is usually not spending it on frivolous nonsense, but if I did want to spend it on frivolous nonsense, I wouldn't care how much other women spend or what they spend it on.

FTR I hate the expression "the finer things in life." It's a euphemism for "self-indulgent stuff that costs a lot of money." The finer things in life--in fact, the finEST-- are a good marriage, a happy family, nachas from the children, good health, good friends, and peace of mind.
Back to top

amother




Coral
 

Post Wed, Feb 24 2021, 8:01 pm
amother [ Peach ] wrote:
OP posted "Of course, you do u! Im working hard on budgeting and I love hearing how others work on / through that.( bc I like the finer things )"

when I said I don't need anyone's approval, I was referring to dh, not to you. You didn't say why you were asking, and I figured you were going to try to justify your own expenditures to your dh based on the answers you got from other women. I would assume that a dh who gives his wife an allowance might have an opinion on how she spends it. If yours doesn't, ashrech. My point being that because I earn my own money and don't get an allowance from my dh (cringeing at the thought), I'm free to do with my money as I like. Which is usually not spending it on frivolous nonsense, but if I did want to spend it on frivolous nonsense, I wouldn't care how much other women spend or what they spend it on.

FTR I hate the expression "the finer things in life." It's a euphemism for "self-indulgent stuff that costs a lot of money." The finer things in life--in fact, the finEST-- are a good marriage, a happy family, nachas from the children, good health, good friends, and peace of mind.

And I took it to mean that she likes and deserves quality, while the rest of us are poor shnooks who don’t know or deserve better.
Back to top

amother




OP
 

Post Wed, Feb 24 2021, 8:07 pm
amother [ Coral ] wrote:
And I took it to mean that she likes and deserves quality, while the rest of us are poor shnooks who don’t know or deserve better.


What?? Why would I be degrading like that? Who said I purchase what I want and what I like just bc I like the finer things.

I said it above and I will say it again. I’m not comparing at all. The same way I don’t compare the amount of children one has I’m not comparing how much money one makes. Just as we as woman have diff needs we all have diff budgets. That’s all ok ✌🏻
Back to top

amother




Orchid
 

Post Wed, Feb 24 2021, 8:10 pm
I was going to answer $0. I was going to answer this because I almost never buy myself anything. I wear stuff until it’s falling apart, wear little makeup- and it’s cheap drug store variety and can last me a year. I don’t get mani/ pedis. I don’t lunch with the girls. I don’t buy jewelry or handbags. Vacations are rare and my car is 8 yes old.
But I’m changing my answer to $500. I spend $500 a week on myself. In the form of a f/t housekeeper. So that I can enjoy my home, my kids, my husband, my life.
Back to top

amother




OP
 

Post Wed, Feb 24 2021, 8:13 pm
amother [ Orchid ] wrote:
I was going to answer $0. I was going to answer this because I almost never buy myself anything. I wear stuff until it’s falling apart, wear little makeup- and it’s cheap drug store variety and can last me a year. I don’t get mani/ pedis. I don’t lunch with the girls. I don’t buy jewelry or handbags. Vacations are rare and my car is 8 yes old.
But I’m changing my answer to $500. I spend $500 a week on myself. In the form of a f/t housekeeper. So that I can enjoy my home, my kids, my husband, my life.


orchid, I appreciate what you wrote. I’m happy that you can enjoy ur housekeeper !!
Back to top

amother




OP
 

Post Wed, Feb 24 2021, 8:15 pm
amother [ Peach ] wrote:
OP posted "Of course, you do u! Im working hard on budgeting and I love hearing how others work on / through that.( bc I like the finer things )"

when I said I don't need anyone's approval, I was referring to dh, not to you. You didn't say why you were asking, and I figured you were going to try to justify your own expenditures to your dh based on the answers you got from other women. I would assume that a dh who gives his wife an allowance might have an opinion on how she spends it. If yours doesn't, ashrech. My point being that because I earn my own money and don't get an allowance from my dh (cringeing at the thought), I'm free to do with my money as I like. Which is usually not spending it on frivolous nonsense, but if I did want to spend it on frivolous nonsense, I wouldn't care how much other women spend or what they spend it on.

FTR I hate the expression "the finer things in life." It's a euphemism for "self-indulgent stuff that costs a lot of money." The finer things in life--in fact, the finEST-- are a good marriage, a happy family, nachas from the children, good health, good friends, and peace of mind.


Perhaps you don’t enjoy the phrase but it is what it is. Perhaps I grew up very wealthy and I am used to the “ finer things in life” and am trying to take a step back without it making me feel deprived but still valuing my budget.
Back to top

amother




Cerise
 

Post Wed, Feb 24 2021, 8:21 pm
We have a joint account so there is no conflict. I spent $3.50 on poppy seeds and $4 on healthy coconut butter. I choose the menu so my husband trusts me to spend conservatively. I spent today a lot on grass fed meat for the month so I don't need to return to the store. I removed $20 from maaser to give tzedaka. Splurging is spending $12 on new undergarments. Smile I only buy what I need. Not everything I want. I don't have allowance. I am not a child. There is trust. I do overspend on healthy food because this is my culture.

I am happy with little because when you realize all the small blessings u dont feel deprived. Having a home, affording tuition, paying the bills these are all blessings.

I'm trying to ingrain in my kids the same thing. Today when we went grocery shopping I said no to all their requests. Then I said to them these eggs and meat And flour are blessings from Hashem not just the sweets and treats.
Back to top
  Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8  Next  Last >> Recent Topics

Page 3 of 8 View latest: 24h 48h 72h


Post new topic   Reply to topic    Forum -> Shopping

Related Topics Replies Last Post
What can I make this week to last till over YT?
by acemom
0 Today at 12:12 am View last post
Green runny nose for over a week
by amother
9 Yesterday at 4:03 pm View last post
Describe yourself/current mood with a HASHTAG
by Radish
89 Yesterday at 3:52 pm View last post
Nocturnal emissions about twice a week- 12 year old
by amother
12 Sun, May 09 2021, 4:21 pm View last post
Kiddush during the week?
by amother
14 Thu, May 06 2021, 4:42 pm View last post