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-> Parenting our children
-> School age children
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amother
OP
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 Sun, Feb 28 2021, 10:06 am
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No mother actually wants their kids eating that much candy, so why are we all giving it, or letting our kids give it? Will things ever change??
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Rappel
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Sun, Feb 28 2021, 10:08 am
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I gave cookies and carrot muffins. I got a lot of salads and rolls in return. It can happen
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amother
White
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Sun, Feb 28 2021, 10:10 am
I don’t give that what I don’t want to receive...
But of course my kids got a ton of candy...
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amother
OP
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Sun, Feb 28 2021, 10:12 am
| Rappel wrote: | | I gave cookies and carrot muffins. I got a lot of salads and rolls in return. It can happen | I mean more what the kids are giving each other. And teachers giving kids. Etc.
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shabbatiscoming
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Sun, Feb 28 2021, 10:17 am
| amother [ OP ] wrote: | | I mean more what the kids are giving each other. And teachers giving kids. Etc. | In terms of what kids are giving each other, who is buying the candies? If it is the parents, then, there is your answer. If it is the kids, if they are older, then I think it still goes back to the parents.
The parents have to change the way they see mishloach manot. It can be both tasty and not as junky as a bag FULL of a dentist visit.
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momX4
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Sun, Feb 28 2021, 11:20 am
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I buy the candy from my kids. They give me wjatever they want, the more the give the more money they can spend in a toy store.
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amother
Orange
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Sun, Feb 28 2021, 11:22 am
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We put everything in a box and kids can pick 10 items each and give everything else away. They have to ask before taking something from their bag but they know it’s there for them.
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amother
Firebrick
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Sun, Feb 28 2021, 11:22 am
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Once a year is not so terrible imo. If you are specifically referring to Purim candy and treats.
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honey36
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Sun, Feb 28 2021, 11:36 am
Im fairly strict about candy in my house. As kids have gotten older I've loosened up a bit since it's harder to control it.
I think besides for Purim the candy/junk/unhealthy eating habits in our communities is rlly out of hand. Its one thing if it's once a year- ok. But I feel like my kids are constantly constantly getting fed junk- between treats for good behavior/doing homework from rebbi, siyums, avos ubanim, rosh chodesh, chanukah, simchas torah, camp is freeze pops every day...the list goes on. Even my 4 year old boy got a pekelach basically every week in pre-1a from an upsherin party at the cheder!
That's why I've basically given up. As hard as I tried to keep the junk to a minimum, it didn't make a dent into what the kids were getting from outside the house. I do sometimes convince them to trade it in for small prizes or something, but doesn't always work.
My friend had a good idea that someone should really organize community seifahs with education regarding the harm sugar has on kids. Or just have nutritionists going into the school and putting in some limitations/rules regarding how often and what types of junk can be allowed...
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amother
OP
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Sun, Feb 28 2021, 11:43 am
| momX4 wrote: | | I buy the candy from my kids. They give me wjatever they want, the more the give the more money they can spend in a toy store. | we do this too. But they’re still eating too much. It’s so unnecessary.
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amother
OP
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Sun, Feb 28 2021, 11:44 am
| amother [ Firebrick ] wrote: | | Once a year is not so terrible imo. If you are specifically referring to Purim candy and treats. | I don’t know a single frum kid who eats candy once a year. My kids get candy every single day in school for some reason or another. Of course not the same volume, but it’s not a logical argument in 2021.
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amother
OP
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Sun, Feb 28 2021, 11:49 am
| honey36 wrote: | Im fairly strict about candy in my house. As kids have gotten older I've loosened up a bit since it's harder to control it.
I think besides for Purim the candy/junk/unhealthy eating habits in our communities is rlly out of hand. Its one thing if it's once a year- ok. But I feel like my kids are constantly constantly getting fed junk- between treats for good behavior/doing homework from rebbi, siyums, avos ubanim, rosh chodesh, chanukah, simchas torah, camp is freeze pops every day...the list goes on. Even my 4 year old boy got a pekelach basically every week in pre-1a from an upsherin party at the cheder!
That's why I've basically given up. As hard as I tried to keep the junk to a minimum, it didn't make a dent into what the kids were getting from outside the house. I do sometimes convince them to trade it in for small prizes or something, but doesn't always work.
My friend had a good idea that someone should really organize community seifahs with education regarding the harm sugar has on kids. Or just have nutritionists going into the school and putting in some limitations/rules regarding how often and what types of junk can be allowed... | Completely agree. And the education piece may be a good idea too. There is so much more To the science than just “candy is bad for your teeth”
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amother
Firebrick
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Sun, Feb 28 2021, 11:51 am
| amother [ OP ] wrote: | | I don’t know a single frum kid who eats candy once a year. My kids get candy every single day in school for some reason or another. Of course not the same volume, but it’s not a logical argument in 2021. |
Then that is something to address with the school. Some schools have a no edible treats policy. The teachers find other sorts of prizes or incentives.
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sky
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Sun, Feb 28 2021, 11:51 am
The candy they get is theirs. So I don’t feel I can just take it from them. It doesn’t really teach them anything. Except that their parent took what is theirs.
They can sell it me for money.
Or exchange for a treat. Like sushi supper or eggs and bagels
Or keep. But not eat all at once. Pick 2 things a day.
My kids have Nosh bec that is what they and their friends want. I can’t imagine my 9 yr old dd giving carrot sticks. Or wanting them back. As my kids get older - boys and girls in teens - they do want to give and receive more real food. But not in elementary years.
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amother
OP
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Sun, Feb 28 2021, 11:57 am
| shabbatiscoming wrote: | In terms of what kids are giving each other, who is buying the candies? If it is the parents, then, there is your answer. If it is the kids, if they are older, then I think it still goes back to the parents.
The parents have to change the way they see mishloach manot. It can be both tasty and not as junky as a bag FULL of a dentist visit. | there is nothing other than a bag full of candy that is considered socially appropriate for kids to give each other where I live. So yes, I’m buying that for my kids and their friends moms for them, but I’m dying inside, and I’m sure no one is pleased about it. But it’s the kind of thing it seeems, like a bunch of ppl will have to decide together to put an end to it.
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amother
OP
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Sun, Feb 28 2021, 11:59 am
| amother [ Firebrick ] wrote: | | Then that is something to address with the school. Some schools have a no edible treats policy. The teachers find other sorts of prizes or incentives. | I wish. But I can’t see this changing anytime soon. And I don’t want to be “that mom”. My kids schools in lkwd give out snack every day, and even that is total junk.
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amother
Khaki
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Sun, Feb 28 2021, 12:00 pm
Totally agree.
In the Rambam diet book he has an idea to have a big glass jar and kids are encouraged to put their nosh in it. When it's full, they earn a big prize like a trip or something.
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amother
OP
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Sun, Feb 28 2021, 12:01 pm
| sky wrote: | The candy they get is theirs. So I don’t feel I can just take it from them. It doesn’t really teach them anything. Except that their parent took what is theirs.
They can sell it me for money.
Or exchange for a treat. Like sushi supper or eggs and bagels
Or keep. But not eat all at once. Pick 2 things a day.
My kids have Nosh bec that is what they and their friends want. I can’t imagine my 9 yr old dd giving carrot sticks. Or wanting them back. As my kids get older - boys and girls in teens - they do want to give and receive more real food. But not in elementary years. | I don’t take it away from them either, and none of my kids are trading junk for sushi or bagels, but they do trade it in for a LOT of money. I have to make it worth it for them. But I’m still resentful at the system, and that I’m constantly put in these kinds of situations where I have to be the bad guy. Why can’t parents all over decide to just say no to junk??
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precious
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Sun, Feb 28 2021, 12:04 pm
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For those of you that don't let your kids have it all what do you do with it?
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Ema of 5
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Sun, Feb 28 2021, 12:04 pm
| amother [ OP ] wrote: | | No mother actually wants their kids eating that much candy, so why are we all giving it, or letting our kids give it? Will things ever change?? |
My kids give two candies and a drink. You don’t have to give a lot and you don’t have to give junk. You can’t change what others do, but you can change what you do. Also just because they get a ton doesn’t mean they get to keep and eat a ton.
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