When a place doesn’t allow you their bathroom

amother

Mon, Mar 01 2021, 5:56 am

I recently took my elderly father to visit his mothers kever in a Staten Island cemetery. When we were leaving he went into the office and asked to use the bathroom. The office was opened with people working there. They told him there is no bathroom for visitors.
I couldn’t believe it. Obviously there was a bathroom because people were working there during the day.
They had to also realize visitors travel in and this is a normal request.
And more than that, this is a basic human need. Why deny someone that? My father is in his 80s. Isn’t it basic human kindness and respect to allow someone to use the bathroom?
It made me think of other times I was out with my kids and one us needed the bathroom and we are told there isn’t one available. Which can’t be the case, because there are workers there. But they don’t allow customers or visitors to use it. What do you do in this case?
I remember once in Amazing savings my kid needed the bathroom. The store wouldn’t allow. We went to four stores including a small pharmacy. no one would allow. I finally found a non Jewish pizza store that allowed.

Teomima

Mon, Mar 01 2021, 6:02 am

Have you ever worked in a job that required you to clean the bathroom that customers use? I have. It's disgusting work. Compared to when I worked in an office with an employees-only bathroom, there's a huge difference.

I don't think what you should be taking issue with is the place not allowing the pubic to use their restroom, rather with your city for not making enough pubic restrooms. Obviously it would be nice if places took special consideration for the elderly, and pregnant women, and small children, but that's already half the population.

amother

Mon, Mar 01 2021, 6:13 am

Teomima wrote:

I get that some customers /visitors can be disrespectful of someone’s property.

I just don’t know what they expected us to do.

Unfortunately I don’t know of city public restrooms but there is a need for it.

When traveling somewhere, staying there and returning home takes a few hours, presumably someone will need the bathroom. So what to do then when the establishments won’t allow use of their bathroom?

imasinger

Mon, Mar 01 2021, 6:26 am

I'm curious, did you ask the staff if they had any suggestions for you? Generally, in such circumstances, they can recommend the gas station down the street, or whatever.

During Covid, when people are more concerned, there has been an increase in sales of personal equipment, to use in one's car, and dispose of later.

Like this. https://smile.amazon.com/dp/B0.....psc=1

DrMom

Mon, Mar 01 2021, 6:53 am

It is annoying. I've been at the beginning of a pregnancy and in need of a place to pee and had stores tell me that there is no bathroom onsite (obviously not true).

As heartless as it is, I do understand their p.o.v., though.

I would say maybe you could have found a gas station or restaurant, but with covid restrictions, those might not even be options.

notshanarishona

Mon, Mar 01 2021, 7:58 am

I do understand not letting strangers off the street. Their are some stores which only let if you buy something which I totally understand.
If you are coming to use their services or in this case paid a lot of money for a burial it’s common decency to be visitor friendly and have a bathroom for people who come.

amother

Turquoise

Mon, Mar 01 2021, 9:11 am

It probably a hassel but I find that stores have a locked bathroom that they check befor and after customers iys abwin win. As a customer I totally understand dirty bathroom situations. pizza stores that usually have lots of customers using the bathroom is gross. When places have bathrooms locked you need to go to a certain worker to get a key. s/he checks the bathroom condition before he lets you use it and comes in after to inpect it. asking whats this if the water is peft on or a dirty tissue is on the floor.

amother

Yellow

Mon, Mar 01 2021, 9:24 am

I once spent a lot of money at a women's clothing store. When I asked to use the bathroom, they wouldn't allow it. I was still in middle of trying on and couldn't leave. I used a shopping bag in the fitting room....... Since then I have bathroom anxiety every time I leave the house.
I understand stores not letting people off the street use the bathroom. But in a store that you may end up spending some time there, it's only decent to allow to use the bathroom. Bh we moved to a different community, there are public bathrooms in the shopping centers.

FranticFrummie

Mon, Mar 01 2021, 9:29 am

When I lived in NYC, I had a map in my head of every single accessible bathroom there was.

It was easier when DD was little, because I'd have her go and ask for the key, and my little actress knew how to look desperate and miserable. LOL

The thing was, DD has a cast iron bladder that can hold it all day long. I have a peanut bladder and have to go at the most inconvenient times, and then I have to GO RIGHT NOW!

I'd use the bathroom, and then ask her if she needed it. 99 times out of 100 she'd say "No, I'm fine."

amother

Turquoise

Mon, Mar 01 2021, 9:31 am

it would be amazing if all jewish shopping centers currently being built in growing communites such as monsey and lakewood could include a couple of public restrooms in the middle. but who would take care of it? would owners pay a matience fee. would merchandise go up in price? ir would it look run down in a week

amother

Yellow

Mon, Mar 01 2021, 9:35 am

amother [ Turquoise ] wrote:

In Monsey the shopping centers have public bathrooms. The shopping centers take care of it. They're not always sparkling clean but they're decent enough.

amother

Oak

Mon, Mar 01 2021, 9:52 am

I think they should have accommodated an 80 year old man. A little respect.

That being said, I think parents with little children should encourage them to go before leaving the home.

I live near a park and in the summer I have people asking all the time to use my bathroom. If my siblings are there with my child, all their friends and their friends siblings suddenly need my bathroom too...

I allowed it once. Afterwards, when I walked in and saw unwiped urine on my toilet seat, I said no more. I expected the minimum. Just to keep my bathroom the way they found it. If others can't respect that, I can't allow bathroom visitors.

amother

Turquoise

Mon, Mar 01 2021, 10:13 am

amother [ Oak ] wrote:

yes the problem is parents who dont look after their kids. as far as taking little kids to the bathroom first. I find it very hard. my kids go before but I have to take water with me. because my kids dehydrate very easily. we dont go on 100 degree weather. but even on the nicer days when my kids play they sweat, face turns bright red and they need to drink which of course next they need the bathroom. when that happens I end up taking my kids to an empty shul.

Chana Miriam S

Mon, Mar 01 2021, 10:36 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I hate to say it but when I ran the restaurant in Niagara Falls, I wished I didn’t need to let ppl in for bathroom. People made such a mess including flushing diapers, not cleaning up after themselves... it was horrible. I hate to say it but I understand the business owners. And that was pre pandemic.

watergirl

Mon, Mar 01 2021, 10:38 am

andrea levy wrote:

THIS IS WHY WE CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS!

watergirl

Mon, Mar 01 2021, 10:40 am

amother [ Oak ] wrote:

If their insurance does not allow, it does not allow. Nothing they can do. Imagine if one of the MANY 80+ year olds (I imagine they are among the more common cemetery visitors) has a spill in the bathroom... lawsuit in the making. The cost of a cemetery plot is high enough as it is. We need to make it higher?