When a place doesn’t allow you their bathroom

amother

Indigo

Mon, Mar 01 2021, 2:24 pm

I gave a real fear about not having a bathroom when I need it. I literally call a store before I go to make sure they have one. If I'm not sure I just won't go. And I've started taking ziplock bags and a sheet in the car. It sounds crazy but it's really not pleasant to need bathroom and not finding one.

watergirl

Mon, Mar 01 2021, 2:51 pm

andrea levy wrote:

Omg it was disgusting. Shocking how many ppl
Stole supplies without purchasing too.

I used to work in a kosher restaurant, I know how gross it got. But, read the threads on here re: picking up after yourself at the mikvah (not cleaning, but throwing away used cotton and q-tips, wiping off hair, throwing nail clippings away, throwing away soap wrappers, BASIC things (forget picking towels up off the floor and at least putting them in the sink! Thats asking too much!). People feel they are paying and they are entitled. It does not start and stop at a restaurant. This behavior carries over. Do you know how many people would cover the toilet to sit on it and then leave the tissue paper there for us to clean? WHY? The vast amount of feminine hygiene products just left out there? The SMELL??

YES, I can totally understand why a place that is not meant to welcome guests to use the bathroom will not allow it "even" for you. And like I've said here now 3 times, if insurance won't allow it, nothing you can do.

But WAIT. How did they steal supplies? Like plates and ketchup packets? So people came in, bought nothing, used the bathrooms, and took napkins, plates, and ketchup for their vacations?

SixOfWands

Mon, Mar 01 2021, 3:28 pm

gande wrote:

I cant believe a cemetery wouldnt have a bathroom. People travel to get there! I always joke with dh that when we will be rich we will install and clean public bathrooms it the biggest chessed!

The bathrooms at the cemetary where my mother (a"h) is buried are closed during corona. (They're pretty disgusting at all other times, FTR.) Maybe that was it.

I agree that OP should have asked for suggestions, and liberally inserted references to her father's age. Or asked where the nearest tree was, to see if that would shake loose a restroom key.

amother

Babypink

Mon, Mar 01 2021, 3:30 pm

doodlesmom wrote:

A cemetery, like a wedding hall should have public bathrooms.
I’ve never been to one in the US that didn’t.
If they don’t have one the people owning plots there should make a ruckus.

The majority of plot holders can't speak up

SixOfWands

Mon, Mar 01 2021, 3:30 pm

watergirl wrote:

FTR, my father owned a non-kosher, non-denominational business. And his complaints about restroom use were identical. Nothing to do with these being kosher restaurants.

amother

Orchid

Mon, Mar 01 2021, 3:32 pm

gande wrote:

I cant believe a cemetery wouldn't have a bathroom. People travel to get there! I always joke with dh that when we will be rich we will install and clean public bathrooms it the biggest chessed!

Hey, it's not a joke. And maybe it doesn't take a rich person. How much does it cost to install and maintain? Maybe donations can be collected to cover it. It's not a glamorous cause, but it's one that is universally understood.

amother

Papaya

Mon, Mar 01 2021, 3:35 pm

A certain store in Miami Beach wouldn't let my kid use their bathroom. She peed on their floor. I walked out and did not offer to clean it up. The restaurant next door kindly let me come in and clean her up in their bathroom. (This was many years ago, no corona excuse).

amother

Yellow

Mon, Mar 01 2021, 3:38 pm

amother [ Papaya ] wrote:

There's also no excuse not to clean up your child's accident. That's disgusting and arrogant. Yuck.

amother

Plum

Mon, Mar 01 2021, 3:43 pm

how upsetting

im sorry

seems we were lucky so far. whenever my child needed the bathroom we were allowed to use it (happened so far in cafés, pharmacies, supermarkets and I once went into an office myself, I had a terrible period and just HAD to change AGAIN (after maybe 1 hour) , I was in the middle of nowhere and there was an office building. I looked so so terrified they were very nice about it, just showed me where the bathroom was and I was SO INCREDIBLY grateful). oh and we spent shabbos ones in antwerp and as we walk my then 2 year old needed to go to the bathroom, I said ill look for one, because our hotel was about 30 minutes away. someone (chassidish) overheared the conversation and said he said he lives right there, so dh went with my son upstairs used the bathroom got some candy and we were so so happy. its hard with kids and I imagine also with elderly people. A tourist asked me on the street wether I lived far. I said no , she needed to make a bedika urgently. it was 5 minutes o shkiah. OF COURSE I let her into our house and lket her use the bathroom.

amother

Papaya

Mon, Mar 01 2021, 3:44 pm

amother [ Yellow ] wrote:

There's also no excuse not to clean up your child's accident. That disgusting and arrogant. Yuck.

They were rude. I chose to be rude back. It wasn't the high road, but I was pretty pissed off.

amother

Natural

Mon, Mar 01 2021, 3:45 pm

amother [ Papaya ] wrote:

Are you looking for applause? What you did was way worse

amother

Puce

Mon, Mar 01 2021, 3:55 pm

amother [ Papaya ] wrote:

They were rude. I chose to be rude back. It wasn't the high road, but I was pretty pissed off.

They weren't rude, they were well within their rights. They just weren't particularly nice. As watergirl mentioned, maybe insurance forbids them from allowing strangers in their bathroom. Or maybe they are just tired of cleaning the toilet all day after other people. I imagine they get a lot of parents with desperate kids who need to go.

You, on the other hand, were not within your rights at all. I hope that this wasn't a non-Jewish establishment because what you did makes frum Jews look bad.

amother

Puce

Mon, Mar 01 2021, 3:57 pm

I always thought that it's a great business idea to have a 'toilet store'. You install toilets, and have people pay to use them.

I would be happy to pay a few dollars to be able to use a gleaming bathroom when I am out and about.

amother

Natural

Mon, Mar 01 2021, 3:58 pm

amother [ Puce ] wrote:

Some cities have public toilets that cost money actually... I think I used one somewhere in Italy once

amother

Yellow

Mon, Mar 01 2021, 4:00 pm

amother [ Papaya ] wrote:

They were rude. I chose to be rude back. It wasn't the high road, but I was pretty pissed off.

You weren't just rude. Your behavior is absolutely disgusting and inexcusable as well as terrible chinuch for your kids. Such an arrogant bigshot, I can't believe it. Real low behavior. A store doesn't must let you use the bathroom. If you get so pissed off by store policy or when something doesn't go your way, you need help to correct your horrible middos.

amother

Khaki

Mon, Mar 01 2021, 4:03 pm

amother [ Papaya ] wrote:

You are a disgusting entitled person.

And the fact that you are bragging about it as if you did something to be proud about - I showed them.

Yeah you showed them how awful you are.