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Which expert mechanech can I call?
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amother




Tan
 

Post Mon, Mar 01 2021, 3:25 pm
amother [ Coral ] wrote:
Yes and very simple but she really understands children.


She does not understand children. She's the wrong person to ask for parenting advice.
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nchr




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Mar 01 2021, 3:36 pm
amother [ Gray ] wrote:
I don’t feel like she understands today’s children.
She is very entertaining to listen to though.


The today's children YOU created "today" with, right? I'm like a typical person who would call her so probably not OP.
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cnc




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Mar 01 2021, 3:43 pm
nchr wrote:
The today's children YOU created "today" with, right? I'm like a typical person who would call her so probably not OP.


Out of curiosity, who is she? Where is she located? Is she a principal?
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amother




Gray
 

Post Mon, Mar 01 2021, 3:53 pm
She is from Tosh.
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amother




OP
 

Post Mon, Mar 01 2021, 3:57 pm
Can you please start a new thread (or not) with this discussion that's not relevant to my question and is also probably loshon hora? Thanks.
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amother




Gray
 

Post Mon, Mar 01 2021, 3:58 pm
nchr wrote:
The today's children YOU created "today" with, right? I'm like a typical person who would call her so probably not OP.


I have no problem with today's children.
I don't like mechanchos who make it sound like children from the past were better people, and if only we treated our children like in the past we wouldn't have today's problems.
Children in the past suffered. They passed on their suffering to their kids in many cases.
Having diagnosis and therapy today is a blessing not a curse.
Before the war plenty of teens were OTD, as a direct result of their parents strict standards.
You can have good children without hitting them.
Etc. Etc. Etc.
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nchr




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Mar 01 2021, 4:02 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Can you please start a new thread (or not) with this discussion that's not relevant to my question and is also probably loshon hora? Thanks.


Definitely LH. I don't think it should be continued. Maybe the mods can erase those comments?
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amother




Gray
 

Post Mon, Mar 01 2021, 4:04 pm
nchr wrote:
Definitely LH. I don't think it should be continued. Maybe the mods can erase those comments?


Maybe they should erase the name rather than the comments.
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nchr




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Mar 01 2021, 4:07 pm
amother [ Gray ] wrote:
Maybe they should erase the name rather than the comments.


Yes, maybe. And yes, our children wouldn't have "today's" issues (by this I don't mean children who have ADHD or a real condition, I mean more the behavioral issues parents create) if we were more like the past. Also, not all parents in the past were abusive. I didn't know this, but I learned it. Old school doesn't mean abusive. She is not abusive, quite the opposite and is more temimesdig than old school.
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amother




Gray
 

Post Mon, Mar 01 2021, 4:17 pm
nchr wrote:
Yes, maybe. And yes, our children wouldn't have "today's" issues if we were more like the past. Also, not all parents in the past were abusive. I didn't know this, but I learned it. Old school doesn't mean abusive. She is not abusive, quite the opposite and is more temimesdig than old school.


I disagree about calling these issues "todays" issues.
These issues always existed.
They were ignored and shoved under the rug.
It did not do anyone any good that autistic and down syndrome children were hidden away, that abused children had no one to talk to, that questions about yiddishkeit were dismissed as apikorses.
She makes fun of things children enjoy occupying themselves with. She compared an amusement park to the torture in the concentration camps and other such examples.
Other than the extremist message, she does not relate to children at all, either because she forgot what a child feels like or because she really believes her approach will work.
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nchr




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Mar 01 2021, 4:23 pm
amother [ Gray ] wrote:
I disagree about calling these issues "todays" issues.
These issues always existed.
They were ignored and shoved under the rug.
It did not do anyone any good that autistic and down syndrome children were hidden away, that abused children had no one to talk to, that questions about yiddishkeit were dismissed as apikorses.
She makes fun of things children enjoy occupying themselves with. She compared an amusement park to the torture in the concentration camps and other such examples.
Other than the extremist message, she does not relate to children at all, either because she forgot what a child feels like or because she really believes her approach will work.


Ok so I am not referring to conditions or abuse. I'm talking about behavioral issues some parents create today. Yes, I think comparing amusement parks (where I would not take my children) to concentration camps is a bit much, but you need to know how to take what you like in a message and disregard the rest. However, I don't think she is appropriate for 99% of the people on this site.
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amother




Bronze
 

Post Mon, Mar 01 2021, 4:25 pm
Chayalle wrote:
I just want to say, depending on the age of the child, my MIL A"H (who taught Pre-1-A in a well-known Brooklyn school for many years) used to say that lying is very normal in the early years. later on, is more of an issue.

Mrs. Leah Trenk in Lakewood is an amazing mechaneches and someone I've consulted over the years on chinuch and behavior issues and questions. I have loved every response she has ever given me. (Just Love Them!)


My SIL years ago called Mrs trenk for this exact reason. Her advise was so balance. The girl is now an amazing young women. (Mrs trenk works for reach parenting a parenting course in Lakewood that gives parenting lessons)
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amother




Coral
 

Post Mon, Mar 01 2021, 4:54 pm
amother [ Gray ] wrote:
I disagree about calling these issues "todays" issues.
These issues always existed.
They were ignored and shoved under the rug.
It did not do anyone any good that autistic and down syndrome children were hidden away, that abused children had no one to talk to, that questions about yiddishkeit were dismissed as apikorses.
She makes fun of things children enjoy occupying themselves with. She compared an amusement park to the torture in the concentration camps and other such examples.
Other than the extremist message, she does not relate to children at all, either because she forgot what a child feels like or because she really believes her approach will work.


I've never heard any of this. Have you or this is just what you imagine she would say?
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amother




Mint
 

Post Tue, Mar 02 2021, 3:11 pm
OP I hope you got the answer you needed....

Can anybody explain to me how an amusement park compares to the concentration camp because I’m completely baffled.
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amother




Lavender
 

Post Tue, Mar 02 2021, 3:16 pm
IMO rabbi yaakov bender is an expert mechanech for issues like this. I'm assuming you can reach him through the yeshiva 718-868-2300
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amother




OP
 

Post Tue, Mar 02 2021, 3:22 pm
amother [ Lavender ] wrote:
IMO rabbi yaakov bender is an expert mechanech for issues like this. I'm assuming you can reach him through the yeshiva 718-868-2300


He was the first one that came to my mind! But I've never spoken to him before and wasn't sure if he is available for random people to call about private chinuch issues.
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amother




Lavender
 

Post Tue, Mar 02 2021, 3:25 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
He was the first one that came to my mind! But I've never spoken to him before and wasn't sure if he is available for random people to call about private chinuch issues.


Im not sure either. But you can leave a message and if this is something he does he will call you back. I find him to be a very open and warm person so I hope he can help you.
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amother




OP
 

Post Tue, Mar 02 2021, 3:27 pm
amother [ Lavender ] wrote:
Im not sure either. But you can leave a message and if this is something he does he will call you back. I find him to be a very open and warm person so I hope he can help you.


Thank you! And thank you for including the phone number...
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