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Forum -> Chinuch, Education & Schooling
Child saying someone is fat



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BrachaVHatzlocha




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Sep 28 2005, 8:38 pm
Today I was waiting with one of my 4-year-old students (smart aleck type) for his mother to pick him up. As we were waiting, he said something about that a different teacher was "fat."
I told him, "even if you think someone weighs more than they should, it's not nice to call them fat."
He said, "but she is fat."
How do you teach a child to accept people the way they are??
(and I'm glad he didn't say it in FRONT of her, at least!)
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Motek




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Sep 28 2005, 9:19 pm
He was making an observation. You understood it derogatorily, but is that how he meant it?

What if you answered directly, "Yes, she is," or "uh huh"

The impt. thing, I think, is to make sure he knows, "It's okay if you tell ME, but we don't comment about how someone looks to THEM, because they may not like it."
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Mandy




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Sep 28 2005, 9:57 pm
"Hashem made all different kinds of people. Some are big, some are small. Some have brown hair and some have yellow hair. Everyone is different."
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hisorerus




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Sep 28 2005, 10:02 pm
NOTICING that someone is different isn't the problem!

Yes, some of us are short or tall, but it's OK to recognize and describe someone by height.

I think what's more important here, as Motek pointed out, to explore the sensitivity issue- that saying someone is short can hurt their feelings. Fat is not bad.
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hisorerus




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Sep 28 2005, 10:11 pm
Of course, you can try to teach political correctness, like "horizontally challenged" and "horizontally enhanced." If he's a smart-aleck, he might just love it.
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MMEC123




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Sep 28 2005, 10:15 pm
Mandy wrote:
"Hashem made all different kinds of people. Some are big, some are small. Some have brown hair and some have yellow hair. Everyone is different."

A co-worker told me she just said that line to her son when he came home saying his rebbi was fat. The boy (5 years old!) responded: "no, people with brown hair, etc. were born that way. All babies are born normal. I see what my rebbi eats- chips, soda, etc.- he made himself that way!". My co-worker was at a loss. Her son had a good point!
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amother


 

Post Thu, Sep 29 2005, 1:13 am
Mandy- not signed in
Quote:
no, people with brown hair, etc. were born that way. All babies are born normal. I see what my rebbi eats- chips, soda, etc.- he made himself that way!". My co-worker was at a loss. Her son had a good point!

not really. Some people are fat b/c of genes or medication etc, just like some people are thin for those reasons. Not all babies are born normal, sadly. If my kid came home and said that and the standard pc line that I said above isn't enough, I would say something about how all people have good and bad parts, good and bad habits. Then a conversation about what is good about your teacher and what might other people find unappealing about you, depending on the maturity level.
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JEWISHMAMA




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Sep 29 2005, 7:03 am
I was once in a line in a store when my son said loudly `that man is black´ and sure enough there was a black man behind me. I was abit embarrassed but I just explained to my son that everyone is different and that he was correct in saying that man was black but he has to remember that some people don´t like it if you point it out very loudly.
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Tefila




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Sep 29 2005, 4:01 pm
Quote:
Hashem made all different kinds of people. Some are big, some are small. Some have brown hair and some have yellow hair. Everyone is different."

That what my response would be exactly Tongue Out
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raizy




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Oct 15 2005, 10:02 pm
when I was a teacher in preschool a boy came up to me and said morah why are u fat? I just laughed at him. also the same boy came and asked me why do I have chicken poxs on my face. and that was after taking for two yrs medicine for my acne... I realized where it came from his home that family was possesed about skinniness and beuaty I just made up that word. his sister was in my class . so I guess sometimes it comes from the home.
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