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Forum
-> Chinuch, Education & Schooling
amother
OP
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Thu, Mar 04 2021, 10:06 pm
Ds 14 almost 15 is very chilled . I just feel that he is crossing limits and is overdoing it . He was out the entire week before purim to prepare for purim party . Came home very late at night . Then purim he was away , he havnt spent with us anything during purim since he claimed he was going around with friends . Last night he and some friends made a pool party he came home very late. Today he called me from yeshiva that he is going out to celebrate someone's birthday party. Wherever there is something he is there . he is going to a friend for shabbos this week and went away last week as well. He keeps finding and wanting outlets . I feel it has no end to this . I told him that if he goes to a friend for shabbos , he rather come home to help a bit and not go today especially he was out last night. He tells me no and he is not wanting to help, and hung up the phone . How crazy is that?! I'm almost in tears . I feel like, am I loosing him? He is so young. So much changed . I mean what is going to be next? Where and how do I put down a foot?!?!
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amother
Cerise
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Thu, Mar 04 2021, 10:11 pm
Hugs! So hard.
What's your relationship with him like? Do the two of you talk a lot, or not so much?
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amother
OP
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Thu, Mar 04 2021, 10:51 pm
We do talk . Yes. He has adhd , and he always needs to do something. Actoin, sports, ect. If not he goes crazy. He is a lot dependent on his friends too. I just wonder if this is a normal teen .
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amother
Sienna
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Thu, Mar 04 2021, 11:04 pm
It's very upsetting and normal at the same time!!!
It's normal for him to want to have fun all the time and it's normal for you to set your limits!!
After shabbos you and your husband need to sit down with him and decide on a plan, discuss together what time would be a good time to set curfew, which jobs he's responsible for around the house and how often he can be away for shabbos...
Part of growing up!
Would be so nice if we could skip the teenage years and get them back when they're mature and responsible!!
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amother
Powderblue
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Thu, Mar 04 2021, 11:41 pm
It's totally normal for teens to enjoy spending time with their friends over their family.
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amother
OP
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Fri, Mar 05 2021, 2:05 am
amother [ Powderblue ] wrote: | It's totally normal for teens to enjoy spending time with their friends over their family. |
I totally get this! But where are limits? Don't they need guidance how far this can go?! Not to be home almost every shabbos? I'm just so sad . We bh have a good , nice, beautiful family. Comfortable house. Like what is missing??? Really makes me feel like we need to do a better job making him be happy to stay home. Just I really can't see what else to add to the already nice atmosphere in the house.
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DrMom
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Fri, Mar 05 2021, 2:38 am
amother [ OP ] wrote: | I totally get this! But where are limits? Don't they need guidance how far this can go?! Not to be home almost every shabbos? I'm just so sad . We bh have a good , nice, beautiful family. Comfortable house. Like what is missing??? Really makes me feel like we need to do a better job making him be happy to stay home. Just I really can't see what else to add to the already nice atmosphere in the house. |
It's up to you to set the limits.
Come up with something reasonable and apply it consistently.
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