Not Eating or Drinking

amother

Sun, Mar 07 2021, 2:08 pm

What would you think of this?

I had a guest come over, the guest didn't eat or drink anything, but her daughters did eat and drink

Sun, Mar 07 2021, 2:10 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

What would you think of this?

I had a guest come over, the guest didn't eat or drink anything, but her daughters did eat and drink

Maybe she was just shy...

amother

Peach

Sun, Mar 07 2021, 2:10 pm

If they were invited for a meal it's odd. Otherwise, maybe she just wasn't hungry or thirsty. Or had to fast for an upcoming blood test. Or something else. I'm sure it had nothing to do with you.

amother

Babypink

Sun, Mar 07 2021, 2:36 pm

sorry op
have to say sometimes there's a medical issue or diet issue
best not to look at what someone is or is not eating or drinking

amother

Apricot

Sun, Mar 07 2021, 3:38 pm

Did she wear her mask? If so, maybe she wasn't comfortable taking it off, but for her kids it was fine. Otherwise, I would assume something different medically.

amother

Periwinkle

Sun, Mar 07 2021, 3:40 pm

Whenever I go to a certain friend I know I have to eat something otherwise she gets insulted. I don't get it. If I'm coming over for an hour or two I really don't need to be served anything.

amother

Mustard

Sun, Mar 07 2021, 3:48 pm

amother [ Olive ] wrote:

I don't like to eat or drink at people's homes. It just feel awkward to me.

But this family specifically for a meal. If you go to someone specifically for a meal you don't eat?

amother

Bisque

Sun, Mar 07 2021, 3:49 pm

Reminds me of someone. Whenever she invites me over, she literally forces me to eat all her food, she won't stop telling me to eat.

But when she comes to me, it's always, no thanks. Even when someone threw her a b day party, she said oh I don't like the food. Its a complex. Cos I've seen her eating, she just chooses when it's most convenient for her.

Sometimes it's nice to think of the host and taste even only a tiny bit if food just to make her feel good.

amother

Purple

Sun, Mar 07 2021, 3:56 pm

She probably has some kid of hangup about eating in public or eating other people's food, maybe she's on a diet, or she has hg and will vomit any food she eats. And even though I would give her the benefit of the doubt, I would feel insulted anyway. That's just me.

amother

Brunette

Sun, Mar 07 2021, 4:11 pm

amother [ Mustard ] wrote:

But this family specifically for a meal. If you go to someone specifically for a meal you don't eat?

I don’t

Rappel

Sun, Mar 07 2021, 4:16 pm

I get why you're uncomfortable, OP. It's a gift when a guest accepts food from a host. It creates connection, and honours your home and your ability to host others.

I always make a point of accepting water or tea wherever I go, minimum. It makes everyone feel so much more relaxed.

amother

Cyan

Sun, Mar 07 2021, 4:32 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

What would you think of this?

I had a guest come over, the guest didn't eat or drink anything, but her daughters did eat and drink

Did she come for the meal or just to visit?

amother

Sun, Mar 07 2021, 5:03 pm

It was just a quick visit, still I'm always happy when guests eat or drink something, I had a bunch of pastries, maybe she was on a diet, who knows!

amother

Cyan

Sun, Mar 07 2021, 5:12 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

It was just a quick visit, still I'm always happy when guests eat or drink something, I had a bunch of pastries, maybe she was on a diet, who knows!

Don't take it personally. I wouldn't have eaten either at a visit. Nothing to do with what you were serving.

SixOfWands

Sun, Mar 07 2021, 5:14 pm

amother [ Brunette ] wrote:

I don’t

Then please decline the invitation. "I can't come for lunch, but I'd love to stop by later to say hi." When I invite people for a meal, I work hard to make dishes I think they will enjoy. If they would refuse all food, I would wonder if they thought my home was dirty, or saw some kashrut error. I'd be mortified. Not to mention miffed about the needless expense. And its hard for me to enjoy a meal when someone else is just sitting there with an empty plate, presumably hungry.

OP, if it wasn't mealtime, your guest might not have been hungry. No offense there.

amother

Brunette

Sun, Mar 07 2021, 5:19 pm

SixOfWands wrote:

I always give a heads up that I’m very picky, and I try to sit in a far corner of the table, if that’s ever a possibility. I secretly push food around on my plate. I always drink some water, though.

imasinger

Sun, Mar 07 2021, 6:02 pm

You sound like a kind friend.

There are many reasons a visitor.might refuse food or drink. As long as they do so politely, the main way that courtesy fits into the picture is that the host shouldn't do more than offer twice, and not worry or pry about someone declining.