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Forum
-> Pregnancy & Childbirth
-> Baby Names
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amother
OP
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 Thu, Mar 11 2021, 1:45 pm
I'm almost due and dont know what I'm having. Of course, I've been thinking a lot about names and although once I have the baby, I will ultimately make the decision with my husband, he keeps saying it's my decision.
I have two choices for a girl:
1) my grandmother who was nifteres when I was 6, but I have tonz of memories of her and used to visit her every day after school. I have 6 nieces named after her already and if I do the name, I would add a name that's meaningful to me since I had a difficult pregnancy.
2) My husbands grandmother who has a name I love so would be happy to name my kid that. Although there are cousins who named after her, we don't have any nieces named for her yet. My FIL was close to her, but dh never really had any relationship with her. I think it would be meaningful for my FIL.
for a boy:
1) my mom's father- huge talmid chochom and I have 4 nephews named for him. (other sibs don't have boys) We wouldn't be able to do the full name (total 3) since my husband shares one and my FIL has the other, so we would do his first name (what he was called) and add a meaningful name for my difficult pregnancy.
2) my father's father- had a ton of mesiras nefesh to send his boys to yeshiva and was overall a very special person. I have one nephew named after him. One sibling has the name so cant name for him and other siblings with mult boys really dislike the name since it's yiddish and not at all common in our circles.
since dh doesnt want to make this decision (at least not yet) I'm very curious to hear what other ppl would do. It's our first kid if that makes a difference.
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amother
Jade
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Thu, Mar 11 2021, 1:47 pm
Bshaah tova!
Great options!
Nice its your choice 
choose the name you like best
then look at the baby when s/he is born and think what fits best what pops into your head.
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elisheva25
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Thu, Mar 11 2021, 1:47 pm
Which name do you actually like ?
Which name speaks to you the most ?
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amother
Seagreen
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Thu, Mar 11 2021, 1:49 pm
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Hmm since they’ve all been named for already can’t you name any name you want? (Or is your tradition/preference to name for the deceased regardless?)
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amother
Copper
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Thu, Mar 11 2021, 1:59 pm
Why can't you give the name if your sibling has the same name???
Or did you mean one of your other children?
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dankbar
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Thu, Mar 11 2021, 2:07 pm
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Minhag is usually first child goes to mom of child, first choice should be a someone from your side not dh's
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dankbar
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Thu, Mar 11 2021, 2:08 pm
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Second priority is one you can do full name not half of the name
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amother
Seagreen
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Thu, Mar 11 2021, 2:08 pm
| dankbar wrote: | | Minhag is usually first child goes to mom of child, first choice should be a someone from your side not dh's |
Did I miss where OP said it’s her first child?
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dankbar
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Thu, Mar 11 2021, 2:09 pm
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So if you don't mind the Yiddish name, and only one is named after him, and you can do his full name & like it...go for it
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dankbar
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Thu, Mar 11 2021, 2:11 pm
| amother [ Seagreen ] wrote: | | Did I miss where OP said it’s her first child? |
She wrote that at end of her OP. Maybe she added it
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amother
Seagreen
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Thu, Mar 11 2021, 2:13 pm
| dankbar wrote: | | She wrote that at end of her OP. Maybe she added it |
Must have missed it!
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amother
OP
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Thu, Mar 11 2021, 2:15 pm
I like both girl names and both boy names.
To clarify: my only brother that would technically use the Yiddish name is named after that grandparent.
If it’s a boy, I know it would mean a lot to my father if I name after his father (and obv his mother if it’s a girl). I’ve always been much closer to my father than my mother, but I know it would mean a lot to her if I name after her father too.
My husbands grandmother has no one named after her yet from our immediate family so I think it would mean a lot to my FIL if we named after her, but no one would hold it against us if we don’t since it’s technically “my turn”
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amother
Red
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Thu, Mar 11 2021, 2:18 pm
2) for a girl and 2) for a boy
b'shaa tova!
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amother
Fuchsia
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Thu, Mar 11 2021, 2:43 pm
I would wait until she/he is born and then decide together. We always made a shortlist and only decided at the last minute what they should be named.
I also found it helpful to speak to our rav about it. Dh wanted to name after his late uncle who died young after a hard battle with cancer, who he was very close to. I was wary as there's a thing about not naming for people with hard lives/died young. Also my brother has the same name.
Rav said best not to under circumstances. Then unfortunately we lost someone close to us just before the baby was born, and all our deliberations were over.
But whatever name you do end up choosing, it will be the right name for that child and you shouldn't have second thoughts.
Hatzlocha and I hope the rest of your pregnancy goes smoothly.
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amother
Coffee
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Thu, Mar 11 2021, 2:47 pm
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Breaking up names can be questionable so clear that with a Rav. Only being able to give 1/3 names doesn’t excite me. And I love unique names so for boy I’d do #2.
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notshanarishona
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Thu, Mar 11 2021, 2:47 pm
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Personally I wouldn’t use a name that someone else already used unless I had a close relationship and it was meaningful to me.
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silverlining3
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Thu, Mar 11 2021, 3:06 pm
If
A) you don't go by the tradition of naming first child from the wife's side and b) you say you like all names, I choose #2 for both.
Though I don't understand why if your brother has a name you can't give the same to your child..?
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amother
Pewter
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Thu, Mar 11 2021, 5:15 pm
Choose a name you both like.
If your naming for someone and add a name or remove part of it, it’s kinda like your not naming. I would speak to A Rav about it. I’m not a big talk to a rabbi person at all!
We had a situation where we wanted to add a name also for the pregnancy, and were told not to.
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amother
OP
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Thu, Mar 11 2021, 7:43 pm
I didn’t know it was a thing not to add a name for a difficult pregnancy. That’s interesting to me and I guess we’d ask our rav. Seems anyone who is giving an actual opinion says #2 for either.
(My brother has the name and can’t name a son for this grandfather. My other siblings don’t like the name so wouldn’t name their sons for this grandfather)
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amother
Pewter
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Thu, Mar 11 2021, 8:18 pm
| amother [ OP ] wrote: | I didn’t know it was a thing not to add a name for a difficult pregnancy. That’s interesting to me and I guess we’d ask our rav. Seems anyone who is giving an actual opinion says #2 for either.
(My brother has the name and can’t name a son for this grandfather. My other siblings don’t like the name so wouldn’t name their sons for this grandfather) |
I think you add a name based on the person your naming for...if they had a difficult life or something you want to change up the Mazel.
We named for someone who survived WWII and remained frum and his name was Avraham. We were told not to add anything because of those two reasons.
If your naming not for someone then you can add a whatever you want n
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