I need to find a rav to help our son - Lakewood

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Forum -> Chinuch, Education & Schooling

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amother

Thu, Mar 18 2021, 7:28 am

He is 14 and has been wanting games and devices and use computer for online search - educational purposes. Filtered. My husband would have nothing of it bc his scared he will waste his time.

My son is so upset from being denied from things he really wants. His been asking since age 10. I’m scared he will go behind our backs and seek it else where.

Which rav is open minded and will agree to tell my husband that obviously with limitations it’s not that bad.

Crookshanks

Thu, Mar 18 2021, 8:25 am

Rabbi Tendler of Sons of Israel.

amother

Tangerine

Thu, Mar 18 2021, 8:31 am

Crookshanks wrote:

Rabbi Tendler of Sons of Israel.

Rabbi Tendler is fantastic.

amother

Taupe

Thu, Mar 18 2021, 8:35 am

Rabbi tender is a really smart nice person. Helps anyone and everyone.
But maybe make sure he’d say to do what you want before speaking to him.

Java

Thu, Mar 18 2021, 8:36 am

amother [ Taupe ] wrote:

Rabbi tender is a really smart nice person. Helps anyone and everyone.
But maybe make sure he’d say to do what you want before speaking to him.

since when is that how daas torah works?

amother

Taupe

Thu, Mar 18 2021, 8:45 am

cutestbaby wrote:

since when is that how daas torah works?

You are right really.

She said she is looking for someone to conceive her husband a certain way.
No reason to recommend someone if he won’t give her the opinion she is looking for. That is what she said she wants.

Java

Thu, Mar 18 2021, 8:52 am

amother [ Taupe ] wrote:

I always find it interesting when people ask questions like this... I totally understand her and why she's looking for a specific opinion and I can't say I wouldn't do the same in her situation, but at the same time it sort of feels wrong to me

Notsobusy

Thu, Mar 18 2021, 11:04 am

Rabbi Rotberg or R Chaim Abadi are also good choices.

kollel_wife

Thu, Mar 18 2021, 11:26 am

She's not looking for a Rov with the opinion she wants. She wants to find a Rov she and her husband can speak to, who's frum enough for her husband to be comfortable with him, but familiar with boys these days, who can realistically guide them on what they should and should not allow for their son, so they won't alienate him, but won't expose him to things they don't want as well.

What about Rabbi Moshe Drew from Tag or Rabbi Nechemia Gottlieb. I know Rabbi Gottlieb spoke in my daughter's high school, and the girls really appreciated that he understood them and their challenges. He (jokingly/but no so jokingly) had the teachers leave the room so the girls wouldn't be uncomfortable to ask their questions.

naturalmom5

Thu, Mar 18 2021, 11:33 am

Granted he is in Monsey

But R Yossi Veiner is awesome

amother

Tangerine

Thu, Mar 18 2021, 11:36 am

kollel_wife wrote:

Tag doesn’t have a good reputation with this sort of thing at all. I’d think op should stay far away from them.

amother

Black

Thu, Mar 18 2021, 11:41 am

Hatzlacha to you and your son, OP. I hope you can find a Rav your DH will respect and listen to.

Our kids all have personal devices or a computer and are monitored. If it weren't for this, my DS especially, would have been destroyed by COVID restrictions. He has been able to foster and strengthen his friendships and has been able to maintain his sanity, B"H. he has really grown this year. Again, we monitor them.

99.5% of society relies on computers/devices every day for business, life, etc. I would rather not have them but I figure, they are not going away. We need to learn to live with them and in a way that is maladaptive or destructive.

If it's not now, your DS will eventually have access and not on the guiding eye of loving parents.

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