NEED NAMES - therapist for kids of divorce/remarriage

amother

Fri, Mar 19 2021, 12:58 am

Regular therapists just didn't cut it. Need someone to work with middle school through early teen girls in the NY area specifically addressing issues surrounding divorce and potential remarriage/blending families. So please, personal experience with strong track record in this specific area. Plus needs to be someone with a good manner with kids who are resistant to therapy and will not willingly open up. Very not willingly. In fact this part may be more important than the divorce specialty... I don't know, can we get the full package please?!

Desperate for personal recommendations here because it's just too delicate to hit and miss.

Yes I know there are more specific forums but I'm trying to get the most exposure possible and I don't know if everyone it relates to follows the specific forums.

Thanks Hug

amother

Mauve

Fri, Mar 19 2021, 2:48 am

Maybe people at Sister to Sister can help you?
Or SR Kohn at Links, which is to help grieving kids who lost a parent, but the kids might have a similar profile where it counts (kids who don’t want to talk, family dynamics...)?

amother

Mon, Apr 12 2021, 12:17 pm

Bump. I tried those suggestions and also tried some other people I know. Nothing. I got a couple of names of people who are unavailable to take new clients, and some who are an hour away from where I live.

I kept it vague in OP but by NY area I really meant Brooklyn or Manhattan. MAYBE Queens. Not Monsey, Long Island, etc.

It's so frustrating, I just want to help my kids Sad

amother

Maroon

Mon, Apr 12 2021, 12:57 pm

OP, from my experience, the way to go is push some more to get an appointment with those who can't take new clients. A nice email, bring a rabbi into the picture, I'm not even sure how, but try to get in to that overbooked therapist.

Wishing you much luck.

amother

Smokey

Mon, Apr 12 2021, 7:56 pm

On similar search for my boys , different location.
Its so so hard.
Its a given that we need therapists skilled in this area. But I havent found anyone. My therapist readily admits it isn't her area. The local clinic claims they can handle and have not helped at all.
I’m at the point of reading and listening to blogs directed at secular women. Learning some. But desperate for some support here for myself in the frum world. And help for my kids.
Came to the point that in our private forum I was ready to pm those with more experience.

I was also going to ask if theres any more peer support.
I once emailed the Jewish Press for the person who used to write articles on blended families. I spoke to her some years back and she was very helpful.
This would just be an idea for support yourself. Not for your kids.
Hatzlacha

amother

Mon, Apr 12 2021, 8:23 pm

Cnc, thank you! Will look into that. It's the warmest-sounding lead so far...

I don't think it's shayach to have someone try to push me into the one who was most well suited and also most unavailable. I did have an "in" and he also seemed very sympathetic, but simply didn't have a moment to squeeze someone in edgewise. His location wasn't great either but the recommendation was strong enough and personal enough that I would have considered traveling (at least an hour there and usually less traffic in the opposite direction...)

amother

Tue, Apr 13 2021, 12:43 am

Generally I'm not a stickler for that but in this case it would need to be someone with at least a very strong understanding of frum life and culture because both my family and the current potential other family have one parent frum and one parent not frum, and it's a significant part of the picture.

amother

Cerise

Tue, Apr 13 2021, 10:09 am

I can suggest a name of a therapist, however, she is not frum, not even jewish.
She's near Park Slope. Don't know if she's taking new clients. She's not cheap. She may be able to refer you to a colleague. She has a British accent.
If you're interested, please share an anon email address cuz I won't post her name here.
I've used her for myself, as have a few of my colleagues.

ellacoe

Tue, Apr 13 2021, 10:53 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Understood, the nuances here are fairly important then. Let me ask around and see. I have one person in mind, not sure if she is taking on private clients right now. I will do some research.

amother

Apricot

Tue, Apr 13 2021, 3:42 pm

Following...
I’m not looking for a therapist for my children right now but I’m looking for myself. I’m in a second marriage and the logistics with his kids make things complicated between us. The kids I have belong to both of us ( I don’t have kids from before)
If anyone knows of someone who specializes in second marriages...

ellacoe

Wed, Apr 14 2021, 1:53 am

Not sure if this is of interest. I am not a therapist. I am a coach and family mediator. I do work with blending of families and transitions during and post divorce. Happy to answer any questions, feel free to PM.

amother

Wed, Apr 14 2021, 12:48 pm

ellacoe wrote:

Understood, the nuances here are fairly important then. Let me ask around and see. I have one person in mind, not sure if she is taking on private clients right now. I will do some research.

Still hitting dead ends, were you able to find out more?
Thank you so much. I realize it hasn't been that long since you posted, just keeping the thread bumped up.

amother

Wed, Apr 14 2021, 12:51 pm

cnc wrote:

Susan Lamm and Sterna Lerman at Counterforce (Flatbush) specialize in blended families.

I got so optimistic based on what it said on their website, but they said they don't have anyone available... Sad

I've asked my "in" with that other person to try asking again (it's only been a couple of weeks but the first time was before I tried ten other people...) but even if that does happen, it's still about an hour away in long island...

amother

Wed, Sep 01 2021, 2:00 am

Bumping, it has been so long and I feel like waiting is hurting but I just have no luck, I kept fishing until I got another couple of recommendations and of course they are also unavailable or inaccessible.

Ellacoe were you able to find out if the person you know is taking clients? Or if any of your divorce/remarriage clients have a therapist they'd recommend?

amother

Apricot

Wed, Sep 01 2021, 9:07 am

Call relief. When I called I’ve spoken to young girls working there who would give a few names. That didn’t help me much. Recently I called and spoke to the owner, Rabbi Babad. I explained exactly what I was looking for and how sensitive the issue is that it can’t just be anyone. He came up with 2 top names. I really think you should try Rabbi Babad from relief.

amother

Wed, Sep 01 2021, 9:23 am

I did that. I got two names. Those were the ones who were extremely unavailable. Right now I'm talking to one of them who sounds like could be a good fit theoretically but the only way to get through would be to pull the kids out of school midday (mid-workday for me) and do it over zoom. I'm thinking that might be it. I haven't even asked how much that would cost yet... TMI