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Do your children wet the bed? (age 4+)
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Poll

Do your children (4+ years) wet the bed?
Yes  
 57%  [ 30 ]
No  
 42%  [ 22 ]
Total Votes : 52


amother




OP
 

Post Fri, Mar 19 2021, 3:15 am
I've seen this issue come up before on imamother, and I'm trying to understand it better. I was incontinent until I was a teenager, but that seems to me to be more like emotional issues than genuine physical ones (weak pelvic floor doesn't explain everything in my case). Poll to put it in proportion.

If you answer yes, why do your kids wet the bed? Do they have control during the day?
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amother




Mistyrose
 

Post Fri, Mar 19 2021, 3:42 am
A few do, a few don't. I have a sibling that did until age 10 or so, it's actually pretty common, despite total control during the day.
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Iymnok




 
 
 
 

Post Fri, Mar 19 2021, 3:55 am
It’s common and hereditary. Deep sleeping is a common issue.
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amother




Brunette
 

Post Fri, Mar 19 2021, 6:25 am
After 2.5 we have 1 or 2 accidents a year until 6 or 7, which is why I don't put tzitzis on (eta for sleeping overnight) until then. I never punish for this but I had a sibling who wet the bed until she was a pre teen and I remember her being hit almost daily about this issue. None of her children wet the bed BTW although I know there is a genetic component.
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mommy3b2c




 
 
 
 

Post Fri, Mar 19 2021, 7:43 am
amother [ Brunette ] wrote:
After 2.5 we have 1 or 2 accidents a year until 6 or 7, which is why I don't put tzitzis on until then. I never punish for this but I had a sibling who wet the bed until she was a pre teen and I remember her being hit almost daily about this issue. None of her children wet the bed BTW although I know there is a genetic component.


That is so abusive and heartbreaking.

My five year old wears pull-ups to sleep because he wets the bed every night. My other kids wet the bed till ages 10 and 8. It’s completely normal, and there’s nothing to do about it. When their body is ready they outgrow it. They did not have any issues with toileting during the day.
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amother




Turquoise
 

Post Fri, Mar 19 2021, 7:59 am
My 13 yr old does at night. Never during the day. I think he toilet trained himself at 2.5.
He hates it.
We’ve done sleep tests. Removed tonsils for sleep apnea. We’ve used alarms.
I don’t believe he has any control and he would love to stop. He won’t go to camp bec of it.
We were told we have to wait for puberty for it to stop.
He does take medicine to help him at night. It works sometimes.
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amother




Peach
 

Post Fri, Mar 19 2021, 8:06 am
amother [ Turquoise ] wrote:
My 13 yr old does at night. Never during the day. I think he toilet trained himself at 2.5.
He hates it.
We’ve done sleep tests. Removed tonsils for sleep apnea. We’ve used alarms.
I don’t believe he has any control and he would love to stop. He won’t go to camp bec of it.
We were told we have to wait for puberty for it to stop.
He does take medicine to help him at night. It works sometimes.


Have him do the following exercise which worked beautifully for my son.

During the day, every time he goes to pee he should pee for 3 seconds, stop, pee for 3 seconds stop, on repeat. It exercises the muscles and gives him control. Within 2 weeks, my son was mostly dry and by 6 weeks was totally dry.
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amother




Lime
 

Post Fri, Mar 19 2021, 8:22 am
I wet my bed into my teens, and the reactions / suffering I got bec. of it probably made it worse. Not to mention, being sent to sleep away camp despite of it. None of my children wet the bed.
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amother




Lilac
 

Post Fri, Mar 19 2021, 8:26 am
amother [ Brunette ] wrote:
After 2.5 we have 1 or 2 accidents a year until 6 or 7, which is why I don't put tzitzis on until then. I never punish for this but I had a sibling who wet the bed until she was a pre teen and I remember her being hit almost daily about this issue. None of her children wet the bed BTW although I know there is a genetic component.

I really hope you asked a shaila regarding this. My son was not toilet trained by his upsherin And I was told to absolutely put tzitzis on him right away. I know many people who are given the same psak.
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amother




Brunette
 

Post Fri, Mar 19 2021, 8:37 am
amother [ Lilac ] wrote:
I really hope you asked a shaila regarding this. My son was not toilet trained by his upsherin And I was told to absolutely put tzitzis on him right away. I know many people who are given the same psak.


I'm referring to tzitzis at night.
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amother




Magenta
 

Post Fri, Mar 19 2021, 8:44 am
It runs in my family. No connection to emotional issues as far as I can't tell.

Some people take longer to gain that control.
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nchr




 
 
 
 

Post Fri, Mar 19 2021, 8:51 am
amother [ Lilac ] wrote:
I really hope you asked a shaila regarding this. My son was not toilet trained by his upsherin And I was told to absolutely put tzitzis on him right away. I know many people who are given the same psak.


Do people really put tzitzis on at night on 3 year olds? I'm pretty strict about chumros and my family definitely and we don't put tzitzis on boys at night until at least 6. I thought the halacha is that if the child can have an accident or still needs help wiping himself you don't put on tzitzis with pajamas.
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amother




Lilac
 

Post Fri, Mar 19 2021, 8:53 am
nchr wrote:
Do people really put tzitzis on at night on 3 year olds? I'm pretty strict about chumros and my family definitely and we don't put tzitzis on boys at night until at least 6. I thought the halacha is that if the child can have an accident or still needs help wiping himself you don't put on tzitzis with pajamas.


I honestly never heard of wearing tzitzis at night... Happens to be my son wears at night because he wants to, but never actually realize there was a thing to wear at night.....
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amother




Chartreuse
 

Post Fri, Mar 19 2021, 8:56 am
No one in my family ever wore tzitzis at night, neither does my husband.
I know my brothers specifically didn't so they can put on a pair in the morning and say the bracha al mitzvahs tzitzis.
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nchr




 
 
 
 

Post Fri, Mar 19 2021, 9:00 am
amother [ Lilac ] wrote:
I honestly never heard of wearing tzitzis at night... Happens to be my son wears at night because he wants to, but never actually realize there was a thing to wear at night.....


It's definitely not required it's a chumra that we do, but I never heard of anyone doing it before 6 for reasons above.
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amother




Brown
 

Post Fri, Mar 19 2021, 9:07 am
nchr wrote:
Do people really put tzitzis on at night on 3 year olds? I'm pretty strict about chumros and my family definitely and we don't put tzitzis on boys at night until at least 6. I thought the halacha is that if the child can have an accident or still needs help wiping himself you don't put on tzitzis with pajamas.

Probably chabad
We do yarmulke and tzitzis by night
Never heard of pushing it off beyond upshernish
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Cheshire cat




 
 
 
 

Post Fri, Mar 19 2021, 9:13 am
My dd did, till she was 8 or 9. It stemmed from severe constipation issues. Once we got the constipation under control, the wetting issue resolved as well.
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amother




Taupe
 

Post Fri, Mar 19 2021, 9:17 am
DC 8 was wetting the bed and underwear, day and night, until recently. We tried urologists and medication to no avail. Then recently it simply stopped and things just stayed dry since.
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thunderstorm




 
 
 
 

Post Fri, Mar 19 2021, 9:18 am
Two out of 5 did. One until 14 and one until 9. It’s very genetic in the boys on my side of the family.
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amother




Slategray
 

Post Tue, Mar 23 2021, 4:51 pm
One of my girls did until 8 or so.
I thought it was connected to her ADHD. It stopped after she finally told us she was being molested Sad Sad Sad Sad
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