I’m too overprotective of my son😩

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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Toddlers

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PeanutMama

Sat, Mar 20 2021, 6:09 pm

This shabbos day we went out for a meal
My husband took my sons hand and basically walked him an entire block and a half
I took the stroller and I did not have my eyes off my son!
My son got distracted a couple times and stopped whenever he saw someone standing in their yard to stare at them for a full minute or so or kept going to the cars parked by the sidewalk.
I was nervous and anxious the whole time!
After a block and a half from our place I just picked him up and put him in the stroller and I relaxed considerably.

It happened again at the end of the meal when we were going home. Should’ve held my son and put him in the stroller. But again I just picked my son right up and placed him in the stroller.
I think he’s too young to walk all that way. We offered our hands but he would let go or yank free after a second. Which brings me to the conclusion my almost 19 mo old son is not mature enough to walk by himself on the sidewalk

Was I overreacting?? Too overprotective??

I usually see older children walk alongside their parents holding one hand for a short distance, never a toddling baby. Except when it’s a neighbor right next door I’m okay with it. But an entire block and a half is a bit too much for me!!
My husband does not see a problem with this. He says “he needs to explore” he basically did not hear my concerns.

Just feel more comfortable with my son running around in a playground not in a place where anything could happen.
When do parents let their kids walk out of the stroller?

amother

Pink

Sat, Mar 20 2021, 6:13 pm

Walking on sidewalks? Totally fine to me. (I live in an extremely busy city) as long as they are alongside you. Running ahead is not old to me (cars go in and out of driveways etc) A block and a half may be long but that just means he’ll be tired and have a good nap after! Not you can also tell
Him if he won’t hold your hand he’ll have to go back in the stroller. He’s old enough to understand. You don’t need to do anything you’re not comfortable with

hodeez

Sat, Mar 20 2021, 6:22 pm

What's the problem with him walking beside you? If you're really worried hold his hand on the side of the sidewalk opposite the road

PeanutMama

Sat, Mar 20 2021, 6:26 pm

He wasn’t walking beside us. He kept running ahead of us. That’s what made me really nervous
Also he kept getting distracted with cars and the curb

We would hold his hand but he would yank free or let go.

ra_mom

Sat, Mar 20 2021, 6:40 pm

I used a toddler harness backpack sometimes. Or a wrist harness.

amother

Babyblue

Sat, Mar 20 2021, 6:41 pm

Hashem_n_Farfel wrote:

Very normal for this age. As they grow older, they are happier to hold parents hands while walking.

But at this age, they either like to run ahead excitedly or they like to stop and explore what's on the ground or on any walls they pass.

professor

Sat, Mar 20 2021, 6:47 pm

Hashem_n_Farfel wrote:

That's what all babies do. If you're not in a rush, just let him get distracted for a minute. As long as you follow him and make sure he doesn't go to the street. If you're in a rush, just put him in the stroller and let him run in a backyard.

Or get a harness like ra-mom said

Last edited by professor on Sat, Mar 20 2021, 6:59 pm; edited 1 time in total

amother

Saddlebrown

Sat, Mar 20 2021, 6:53 pm

You are right you need to be right next to him on busy city streets or he’s in the stroller.

amother

Aquamarine

Sat, Mar 20 2021, 7:04 pm

I don't think you're wrong. I would be the same in a busy street especially with my first. Father's have a different relationship with their kids in that they don't stress as much as mothers but that's a good thing sometimes as a mother you have to let go and say ok and other times say no this is not ok and pick them up and put then in the stroller.

amother

Wheat

Sat, Mar 20 2021, 7:14 pm

Another vote for the harness backpack. We only needed it for a month or 2 until she got used to holding hands or staying with me. We now (24 months) use it only for trips to the zoo or things like that.

amother

Maroon

Sat, Mar 20 2021, 8:16 pm

I would put my kid in stroller too if he was running ahead and or I didn't want to keep up with him. There are people pulling out of driveways that cant see a tiny baby and what if he runs into the street? Nope, I would only let him walk of he would agree to hold my hand and sound like your baby isn't interested in doing that.

lucky14

Sat, Mar 20 2021, 8:26 pm

If it's a busy street and the child wont hold hands and is too young to realize how dangerous the street and cars are then I would put the child in the stroller. Especially if they are trying to run ahead. Only way I'd let them walk if they stayed right beside me and I was the one walking closer to the street.

amother

Burgundy

Sat, Mar 20 2021, 8:47 pm

At that age most of my children did not even walk yet! For those that did there is no way I allowed them to just run ahead.

pause

Sat, Mar 20 2021, 9:04 pm

If he doesn't hold on to your hand you can
Either run along with him and stay right beside him at his pace
Or put him in the stroller

Some of my toddlers only agreed to hold on if both DH and I were holding on, one each hand.

But, no, I wouldn't let a little kid run ahead on a city street.

Regarding the "long" walk - that's not a problem. If he wouldn't have the energy to do it, he would stop or sit down or kvetch. As long as he keeps going on his own and no one is forcing him to walk, you can let him without worrying.

amother

Powderblue

Sat, Mar 20 2021, 9:09 pm

I would have put him in the stroller too.

Not a fan of a harness. Reminds me too much of a dog leash.

flowerpower

Sat, Mar 20 2021, 9:28 pm

I’d just put him in a stroller. Kids this age just run. They are not aware of safety yet.

PeanutMama

Sat, Mar 20 2021, 9:59 pm

Thanks guys! I’m gonna go with the harness backpack in the future. Any local stores sell them here in Boro park? Please let me know.

How do I *not* be so overprotective? I know it’s my first and my mum was the same way with me too (also the oldest child here) but even if we’re at a friends house I keep a really really sharp eye on my son 🙈🙈🙈

It’s not normal Sad

amother

Powderblue

Sat, Mar 20 2021, 10:01 pm

Hashem_n_Farfel wrote:

I don't think it is abnormal. Kids that age don't have much seichel. You really do need to watch them all the time (imo). As he gets older, you will be able to relax and let him explore. He will have more safety awareness and be able to listen to you if you call his name.

Einikel

Sat, Mar 20 2021, 10:01 pm

Skip hop makes them so Carter’s should have it.

amother

Wine

Sat, Mar 20 2021, 10:06 pm

I have a baby the same age and the only place I let him run around is on my front lawn. Anywhere else, he's in the stroller. He disappears in a blink, it's crazy. I wouldn't let a 19 month old run around on a busy sidewalk.

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