 |
|
 |
 |
|
|
Forum
-> Fashion and Beauty
|
amother
OP
|
 Sun, Mar 21 2021, 8:42 pm
I am not sure if this is the right forum, but here it goes...
My daughter had issues with her ear piercings since we did it a year and a half ago. She's now 8. She was getting constant irritations/infections/eczema (not sure for sure whether infections or eczema, I thought infection but doctor said eczema) and I realized that part of the problem is that the earrings were tight on her. She has thicker earlobes than average. I suspected also sensitivity to non-gold materials. All background for why I told her I will buy her new gold earrings. She described the style she wanted, not studs, and I said okay.
Finally, yesterday the day came. I took her to a jewelry stand I had passed in the mall that I had previously ascertained sold 24k gold earrings. The price range they had told me was 200 to 400 shekels. I didn't think much about it. But when we described the style she wanted and started to look at those, the first thing we were shown was 580 shekel. I was taken aback and we asked to see other options... Eventually we found one that she loved that was 480 shekel ($145 equivalent). This was still a lot more than I assumed we'd pay! But then again I should have realized that non-stud options would be more than studs... I was with my baby also who was crying, and: I bought them for her. She is completely over the moon with them. They're gorgeous but like--they're real jewelry. They're something I'd buy for myself. They are not "kid earrings."
I am kicking myself for not doing more research prior. Also, for not having the presence of mind to take a step back, say we will take some time to think about it and come back another day... For not at least trying the gold-plated before believing/assuming only solid gold would do. For maybe researching the best place to buy earrings for a kid instead of just showing up at the first place I saw, pretty much.
For not just, right then, asking to take the earrings out of her ears so we could think about it... Instead the earrings stayed in her ears and somehow psychologically the only way seemed to be to go ahead and pay for them.
Afterwards, for chinuch purposes, I asked her if she wants to pay the difference between the studs and the earrings she has--and she was completely willing to. But in practice only had about 70 shekel of her own from Chanukah gelt. I told her she can contribute 60 shekel. And anyway, I played it completely wrong. Because I didn't actually have a clear sense when we went in for how much earrings SHOULD cost, or show her her options clearly. It was only afterwards that I asked if she is willing to contribute her own money. So I feel like I flubbed this.
Anyway:
Please tell me I'm not an idiot? That it makes some sense that I got these for her?
They are very good and comfortable earrings that I know she will keep in her ears for a long time now without issues. And they are gorgeous (though I'm not sure if this is a plus or not... Is it kind of crazy and ostentatious that this little kid has these gorgeous earrings?)
I don't know, someone please tell me this is normal.
We are not wealthy, but nothing bad will happen because I bought these... And I didn't spend a lot of other money recently on her clothes. I think that's part of why I have such sticker shock now--everything else I've bough her recently has been cheap.
Okay, help please!!!
| |
|
| Back to top |
 5
 0
|
|
amother
Green
|
Sun, Mar 21 2021, 8:47 pm
| amother [ OP ] wrote: | I am not sure if this is the right forum, but here it goes...
My daughter had issues with her ear piercings since we did it a year and a half ago. She's now 8. She was getting constant irritations/infections/eczema (not sure for sure whether infections or eczema, I thought infection but doctor said eczema) and I realized that part of the problem is that the earrings were tight on her. She has thicker earlobes than average. I suspected also sensitivity to non-gold materials. All background for why I told her I will buy her new gold earrings. She described the style she wanted, not studs, and I said okay.
Finally, yesterday the day came. I took her to a jewelry stand I had passed in the mall that I had previously ascertained sold 24k gold earrings. The price range they had told me was 200 to 400 shekels. I didn't think much about it. But when we described the style she wanted and started to look at those, the first thing we were shown was 580 shekel. I was taken aback and we asked to see other options... Eventually we found one that she loved that was 480 shekel ($145 equivalent). This was still a lot more than I assumed we'd pay! But then again I should have realized that non-stud options would be more than studs... I was with my baby also who was crying, and: I bought them for her. She is completely over the moon with them. They're gorgeous but like--they're real jewelry. They're something I'd buy for myself. They are not "kid earrings."
I am kicking myself for not doing more research prior. Also, for not having the presence of mind to take a step back, say we will take some time to think about it and come back another day... For not at least trying the gold-plated before believing/assuming only solid gold would do. For maybe researching the best place to buy earrings for a kid instead of just showing up at the first place I saw, pretty much.
For chinuch purposes, I asked her if she wants to pay the difference between the studs and the earrings she has--and she was completely willing to. But in practice only had about 70 shekel of her own from Chanukah gelt. I told her she can contribute 60 shekel. And anyway, I played it completely wrong. Because I didn't actually have a clear sense when we went in for how much earrings SHOULD cost, or show her her options clearly. So I feel like I flubbed this.
Anyway:
Please tell me I'm not an idiot? That it makes some sense that I got these for her?
They are very good and comfortable earrings that I know she will keep in her ears for a long time now without issues. And they are gorgeous (though I'm not sure if this is a plus or not... Is it kind of crazy and ostentatious that this little kid has these gorgeous earrings?)
I don't know, someone please tell me this is normal.
We are not wealthy, but nothing bad will happen because I bought these... And I didn't spend a lot of other money recently on her clothes. I think that's part of why I have such sticker shock now--everything else I've bough her recently has been cheap.
Okay, help please!!! |
I totally love you. Like really really love you.
Where I live, 6 year olds wear real gold and also small gemstones.
You had to buy your daughter real gold to avoid infections. And that indeed is what earrings can cost. Tell her not to remove them, enjoy them, and praise Hashem you were able to buy it.
I still wear my jewelry I got when I was 12. And if she doesn’t, maybe she can one day gift them to her own daughter.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
52
|
|
amother
Burgundy
|
Sun, Mar 21 2021, 8:49 pm
| amother [ OP ] wrote: | I am not sure if this is the right forum, but here it goes...
My daughter had issues with her ear piercings since we did it a year and a half ago. She's now 8. She was getting constant irritations/infections/eczema (not sure for sure whether infections or eczema, I thought infection but doctor said eczema) and I realized that part of the problem is that the earrings were tight on her. She has thicker earlobes than average. I suspected also sensitivity to non-gold materials. All background for why I told her I will buy her new gold earrings. She described the style she wanted, not studs, and I said okay.
Finally, yesterday the day came. I took her to a jewelry stand I had passed in the mall that I had previously ascertained sold 24k gold earrings. The price range they had told me was 200 to 400 shekels. I didn't think much about it. But when we described the style she wanted and started to look at those, the first thing we were shown was 580 shekel. I was taken aback and we asked to see other options... Eventually we found one that she loved that was 480 shekel ($145 equivalent). This was still a lot more than I assumed we'd pay! But then again I should have realized that non-stud options would be more than studs... I was with my baby also who was crying, and: I bought them for her. She is completely over the moon with them. They're gorgeous but like--they're real jewelry. They're something I'd buy for myself. They are not "kid earrings."
I am kicking myself for not doing more research prior. Also, for not having the presence of mind to take a step back, say we will take some time to think about it and come back another day... For not at least trying the gold-plated before believing/assuming only solid gold would do. For maybe researching the best place to buy earrings for a kid instead of just showing up at the first place I saw, pretty much.
For not just, right then, asking to take the earrings out of her ears so we could think about it... Instead the earrings stayed in her ears and somehow psychologically the only way seemed to be to go ahead and pay for no them.
Afterwards, for chinuch purposes, I asked her if she wants to pay the difference between the studs and the earrings she has--and she was completely willing to. But in practice only had about 70 shekel of her own from Chanukah gelt. I told her she can contribute 60 shekel. And anyway, I played it completely wrong. Because I didn't actually have a clear sense when we went in for how much earrings SHOULD cost, or show her her options clearly. It was only afterwards that I asked if she is willing to contribute her own money. So I feel like I flubbed this.
Anyway:
Please tell me I'm not an idiot? That it makes some sense that I got these for her?
They are very good and comfortable earrings that I know she will keep in her ears for a long time now without issues. And they are gorgeous (though I'm not sure if this is a plus or not... Is it kind of crazy and ostentatious that this little kid has these gorgeous earrings?)
I don't know, someone please tell me this is normal.
We are not wealthy, but nothing bad will happen because I bought these... And I didn't spend a lot of other money recently on her clothes. I think that's part of why I have such sticker shock now--everything else I've bough her recently has been cheap.
Okay, help please!!! |
I don’t know but I would not have asked her to contribute almost all of her money towards the purchase.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
64
|
|
amother
Lime
|
Sun, Mar 21 2021, 8:58 pm
you're very normal!!!
I'm so glad you bought them!
As I was reading your post, I was so nervous that you're baby is crying and you're going to leave them behind!
Otherwise you'd feel so sorry for leaving them in the store and someone might buy it before you get a chance to go back for it.
you'd seriously have time running around to stores this week looking for cheaper earrings? and after seeing these, you wouldn't find a cheaper one that you liked.
You saved time and spent an extra what, $25?
regarding your chinuch question. I'll leave that to the experts.. My parents never made me pay for my stuff, especially something I needed, like earrings.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
26
|
|
amother
Coral
|
Sun, Mar 21 2021, 9:02 pm
|
If you had prepped her beforehand about chipping in money, it would be ok. After the fact, I don't think it is really fair. Jmo.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
52
|
|
amother
Rose
|
Sun, Mar 21 2021, 9:03 pm
|
BTW in the future you can try surgical steel or titanium which shouldn't be as expensive.
| |
|
| Back to top |
1
12
|
|
amother
Coral
|
Sun, Mar 21 2021, 9:08 pm
| amother [ Rose ] wrote: | | BTW in the future you can try surgical steel or titanium which shouldn't be as expensive. |
As someone with super sensitive ears, that probably won't work. If I put anything less than real gold in my ears, within 2 minute my ears start to ache, get swollen, and even if I take the earrings out asap it is too late, I will have an infection that lasts several weeks, swollen ears and pus (not to be tmi). But 10k or 14k gold is fine, and definitely cheaper than 24k.
| |
|
| Back to top |
1
12
|
healthymom1
|
Sun, Mar 21 2021, 9:23 pm
I was insanely allergic to anything less than 18k gold in my ears so I honestly think you did the right thing for her. As I’m older I can handle fake jewelry now, but as a kid it was so painful.
I don’t remember taking my earrings out so pretty sure I didn’t lose them. I also may not have asked her to pay for the difference. Could have been a pesach present or something. But if that’s what works for your family, then it works.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
7
|
DrMom
|
Sun, Mar 21 2021, 9:35 pm
| amother [ Coral ] wrote: | | If you had prepped her beforehand about chipping in money, it would be ok. After the fact, I don't think it is really fair. Jmo. |
This. It's not "for chinuch purposes" to guilt her into paying the difference between what you intended to spend and what you actually spent.
She described what she wanted and you got her something more expensive - that's not her fault. Of course the saleslady will show her something more expensive; it's your job to stick to your guns and insist on what you want if you are not ready to spend more.
Sounds like she's a good kid, and she's probably willing to hand over all her Hanukkah cash to pay for earrings she loves so much (she's only 8!), but you should not make her do that.
Now she has a gift she'll love forever. Let her enjoy them.
BTW, 24k gold? Wow. Aren't they somewhat soft?
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
28
|
|
amother
Orchid
|
Sun, Mar 21 2021, 9:39 pm
I have made lots of mistakes and my view is always changing, your human sounds like you bought your daughter gold earings snd thats the price. My daughter got her ears pierced when she wasone I was told only to use that first ear peircing pair for the fist year. she lost it 3 times I paid alot of money for the first real gold earing. I spent a ton of money on real gold studded pearls -and guess what her ear kep lt getting infected she lost one pearl and again real gold-it had to be replaces for alot of money. then the lady said maybe pearl is not real its touching her ear its casing the problem. no more pearls from now on-and now only gold hanging earings. after many many trial and error this is what I learned.
THE alergy could be caused from the fake stones that touch the ear, or fake back
Silver Is No good-even worse than fake
samen with gold plated
BUY HYPOALLERGENIC earings they are half price and amazing.
let your daughter wear it and enjoy it. but I would try a cheap pair of earings for days she goes swimming. those are the times when my kids lost their earing
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
2
|
|
amother
OP
|
Sun, Mar 21 2021, 9:42 pm
Thanks for all the responses!
I said 24k, I meant 14k. (I mean, I’m pretty sure... do they even sell 24k earrings?)
I don’t feel bad about asking her if she wants to pay part of the cost, though obviously it would have been better if I had a clearer sense of what things cost earlier on and we would have had a plan beforehand. But when I asked her we could have still gone back and looked at cheaper options. She didn’t want to. I consider this part imperfect parenting but not terrible. And I know she doesn’t mind, possibly she feels proud of herself for contributing.
| |
|
| Back to top |
1
7
|
|
amother
OP
|
Sun, Mar 21 2021, 9:50 pm
| amother [ Green ] wrote: | I totally love you. Like really really love you.
Where I live, 6 year olds wear real gold and also small gemstones.
You had to buy your daughter real gold to avoid infections. And that indeed is what earrings can cost. Tell her not to remove them, enjoy them, and praise Hashem you were able to buy it.
I still wear my jewelry I got when I was 12. And if she doesn’t, maybe she can one day gift them to her own daughter. |
This is what I need to hear. That it was a reasonable thing to do, and that is really what it costs... if that’s the price, that’s the price.
I would feel better if she was 12. Like a milestone gift. This was sort of random... we treated it more like an errand, like getting nightgowns or shoes, and that’s sort of why it felt a little off...
But she definitely appreciates and doesn’t plan to remove them for a long time.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
6
|
DrMom
|
Sun, Mar 21 2021, 9:55 pm
| amother [ OP ] wrote: | This is what I need to hear. That it was a reasonable thing to do, and that is really what it costs... if that’s the price, that’s the price.
I would feel better if she was 12. Like a milestone gift. This was sort of random... we treated it more like an errand, like getting nightgowns or shoes, and that’s sort of why it felt a little off...
But she definitely appreciates and doesn’t plan to remove them for a long time. |
She'll probably remember it as a significant event, so it's a milestone for her, even if it's not a bat-mitzvah present. 
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
27
|
|
amother
OP
|
Sun, Mar 21 2021, 9:55 pm
| amother [ Orchid ] wrote: | | I have made lots of mistakes and my view is always changing, your human sounds like you bought your daughter gold earings snd thats the price. My daughter got her ears pierced when she wasone I was told only to use that first ear peircing pair for the fist year. she lost it 3 times I paid alot of money for the first real gold earing. |
Why aren’t you supposed to use the first ear piercing for more than a year?
And what are those first earrings made of? I assumed gold but now that I think about it... that obviously can’t be. And that would explain why they’re not that expensive?
[quote="amother [ Orchid ]”]THE alergy could be caused from the fake stones that touch the ear, or fake back
Silver Is No good-even worse than fake
samen with gold plated
BUY HYPOALLERGENIC earings they are half price and amazing.
let your daughter wear it and enjoy it. but I would try a cheap pair of earings for days she goes swimming. those are the times when my kids lost their earing[/quote]
You’re saying hypoallergenic would have been an option too?
Why does she have to remove these earrings at all for swimming? Will the chlorine damage them?
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
0
|
|
amother
OP
|
Sun, Mar 21 2021, 10:04 pm
| DrMom wrote: | | She'll probably remember it as a significant event, so it's a milestone for her, even if it's not a bat-mitzvah present. |
She definitely will remember it this way! And I’m pretty sure gifts is her love language so there’s that. I feel bad that it was was kind of unintentional... like not ceremonious as much as: I happen to have time right now and we’re near a store so quick let’s do it! Overtired baby and everything.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
4
|
|
amother
OP
|
Sun, Mar 21 2021, 10:06 pm
| amother [ Lime ] wrote: | you're very normal!!!
I'm so glad you bought them!
As I was reading your post, I was so nervous that you're baby is crying and you're going to leave them behind!
Otherwise you'd feel so sorry for leaving them in the store and someone might buy it before you get a chance to go back for it.
you'd seriously have time running around to stores this week looking for cheaper earrings? and after seeing these, you wouldn't find a cheaper one that you liked.
You saved time and spent an extra what, $25?
regarding your chinuch question. I'll leave that to the experts.. My parents never made me pay for my stuff, especially something I needed, like earrings. |
Thank you... rereading... it’s helping me! Def no time to go looking for cheaper, though there may have been cheaper in that store. (Other types. Not real gold, huggies, that fit her lobes.)
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
0
|
|
amother
Gold
|
Sun, Mar 21 2021, 10:14 pm
|
Maybe I'm misunderstanding what you meant, but it's a good thing you didn't tell her to take them out while you thought about what to buy. Her holes would have closed up, especially with a reaction like that. You did the right thing by not pushing it off more.
| |
|
| Back to top |
4
3
|
|
amother
OP
|
Sun, Mar 21 2021, 10:21 pm
| amother [ Gold ] wrote: | | Maybe I'm misunderstanding what you meant, but it's a good thing you didn't tell her to take them out while you thought about what to buy. Her holes would have closed up, especially with a reaction like that. You did the right thing by not pushing it off more. |
I meant just for a few minutes, and put back in the earrings she had on when we came in while we decided. It’s hard to say no when the earrings she loves are actually IN her ears!
But what do mean not pushing it off more? You mean like even a day’s delay?
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
0
|
|
amother
Taupe
|
Mon, Mar 22 2021, 1:58 am
If it makes you feel better I just spent similar for a four year old. Same issue with ear sensitivity and the backing on studs can get crusted and infected more easily so was told by her doctor to avoid.
Did you ask her to chip in after you purchased them or while you were deciding? If it was the after the fact I think that is the crazy part not the actual purchase. It does seem unfair. She got an extravagant gift but it's done with and harping on it will just take away the amazing feeling it probably gave her. Enjoy it with her, I have very nice memories of those times I got something "extra."
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
8
|
| Related Topics |
Replies |
Last Post |
|
|
[ Poll ] How do you feel about Pesach (this year)?
|
19 |
Sun, Apr 21 2024, 10:56 pm  |
|
|
Yichus thread making me feel less than
|
89 |
Mon, Apr 15 2024, 9:58 pm |
|
|
Help me- GF, no tomato, low acid and spice, no nuts, variety
|
8 |
Fri, Apr 12 2024, 9:44 am |
|
|
Taanug chocolate munch (or vanilla) - nuts???
|
0 |
Mon, Apr 08 2024, 1:52 pm |
|
|
Don’t feel like me in tichels
|
3 |
Fri, Mar 22 2024, 7:48 am |
|
|
Imamother may earn commission when you use our links to make a purchase.
© 2024 Imamother.com - All rights reserved
|  |
 |
|
 |
|
|
