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amother




OP
 

Post Mon, Mar 22 2021, 7:48 pm
To all those stay at home moms that are jealous or upset they didn’t get a chance at building a career, don’t be!

Try preparing for Y”T. While working full plus overtime, taking care of kids or the house or anything for that matter...
I actually look back and think wouldn’t it have been simpler not to go down this route?!

Walk the streets, cleaning, cooking in advance and trying to dress the kids tip top. Matching socks headbands and most up to date clothes. I just wonder how much calmer life would’ve been.

Just venting. Wonder what you guys think!
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amother




Cobalt
 

Post Mon, Mar 22 2021, 7:52 pm
There’s pros and cons.
So not working comes with lack of fulfillment that’s out of the mother role. So no life besides for home life. And less money!!
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professor




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Mar 22 2021, 7:52 pm
Pesach is hard for everyone equally.
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amother




Mistyrose
 

Post Mon, Mar 22 2021, 7:53 pm
Grass is always greener. I usually work but I'm home this year and it's nothing like you described. Maybe if they were in school. I have little ones so I'm watching them all day and cleaning during nap.
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amother




Blue
 

Post Mon, Mar 22 2021, 7:56 pm
So I never built a career but I started working in a playgroup 2 years ago and want to give it up just for this. I know the money is tempting but I feel like I don’t have a life. I don’t think I’ll be bored I have 6 young children that need my attention and care.
After doing this I’ll finally appreciate being a stay at home mom.
I used to be jealous from the career women/mothers, but I see how challenging it can be when u have a family and all the responsibilities.
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amother




Hotpink
 

Post Mon, Mar 22 2021, 7:57 pm
I've been a working mom all my life (12 yrs) there's something to working out of the house, keeps your life structured, motivated and knowing that things have to get done... I now work at home, doing sales on commission based, I like it and don't like it at the same time. I really miss working out of the house, I was so much more motivated, yes, I am taking off now before pesach- I use to work until bedikas chometz.. but I did manage somehow, how I don't know, now I wonder how... but again I was sooo much more motivated, somehow when your home all day you feel like you have forever to do and accomplish.. I became lazy!! can't wait to going back into full swing after pesach iyh... I'm rethinking about working out of the house, I really miss those days... and the social bonus as well, so there is 2 sides to the coin! but for my stage in life now this is perfect...
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amother




Lavender
 

Post Mon, Mar 22 2021, 7:59 pm
I'm not jealous in the least bit.

Yes I do have some bored days and then I think maybe I should work! But it passes very quick.

But hey, you do you and I do me. Neither is right or wrong to do.

Ps I work 3 months of the year, voluntarily. And it happens so that it's the months leading up to pesach.

ETA-no year is the same like the 1 before.
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amother




Purple
 

Post Mon, Mar 22 2021, 8:00 pm
professor wrote:
Pesach is hard for everyone equally.


I definitely think it would be easier for me if I didn't work. But that's comparing myself to myself (myself as a working mom vs.myself as a theoretical SAHM). I can't compare myself to other women because I don't know their life circumstances or personalities. like maybe someone who is a SAHM has a less organized personality than me, so pesach is harder for her even though she has more free time as a sahm)

To address OP- the way to get through it is to lower your standards. No one needs to be dressed tip top. No one in my family got anything new for pesach. Whatever we wore last shabbos will work just fine for this Shabbos and next Shabbos.

Cleaning is bare bones. Just vacuuming everything and turning over the kitchen. No spring cleaning, dusting, organizing, or polishing
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amother




Lime
 

Post Mon, Mar 22 2021, 8:03 pm
Not a problem for me. Hated being a sahm, went back to full time work and I'm thrilled to do it, even at this time of year. Pesach comes every year and I have my system for managing it all.
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silverlining3




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Mar 22 2021, 8:12 pm
amother [ Lime ] wrote:
Not a problem for me. Hated being a sahm, went back to full time work and I'm thrilled to do it, even at this time of year. Pesach comes every year and I have my system for managing it all.


Pesach comes every year and I have my system for managing it all.

This is what I think.

Working moms generally have a better system.

SAHM take it more relaxed, since they have more time.

It might not be true for all but for many it is.
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amother




Scarlet
 

Post Mon, Mar 22 2021, 8:16 pm
amother [ Purple ] wrote:
I definitely think it would be easier for me if I didn't work. But that's comparing myself to myself (myself as a working mom vs.myself as a theoretical SAHM). I can't compare myself to other women because I don't know their life circumstances or personalities. like maybe someone who is a SAHM has a less organized personality than me, so pesach is harder for her even though she has more free time as a sahm)

To address OP- the way to get through it is to lower your standards. No one needs to be dressed tip top. No one in my family got anything new for pesach. Whatever we wore last shabbos will work just fine for this Shabbos and next Shabbos.

Cleaning is bare bones. Just vacuuming everything and turning over the kitchen. No spring cleaning, dusting, organizing, or polishing


I work full time and have an insanely hectic life. I've had to learn that I can't do it all. Pesach cleaning is really just vacuuming and floor washing this year. Clean fridge. Toivel countertops. I'm cooking everything Friday and that's it. Most meals have fresh salads and fruit. Some meats, potatoes, store bought kugels. Done. I make a big vat of chicken soup. Finished. Desert is store bought. I'm too busy and life is too hard to try and do more. If I was a SAHM, I'd miss my career and be less personally fulfilled. And more broke, too. I like money 🙈 so being a SAHM isn't a option for me.
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mig100




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Mar 22 2021, 8:26 pm
amother [ Mistyrose ] wrote:
Grass is always greener. I usually work but I'm home this year and it's nothing like you described. Maybe if they were in school. I have little ones so I'm watching them all day and cleaning during nap.


Yeah being a sahm with all kids in school vs having 2 home all day kids home is very very different.

How much peseach cleaning could you get done with a baby and toddler who empties every cabinet quicker than you can?

On the flip side if you work you can always take a day off and leave the kids by babysitter
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amother




Purple
 

Post Mon, Mar 22 2021, 8:33 pm
mig100 wrote:
Yeah being a sahm with all kids in school vs having 2 home all day kids home is very very different.

How much peseach cleaning could you get done with a baby and toddler who empties every cabinet quicker than you can?

On the flip side if you work you can always take a day off and leave the kids by babysitter


I agree with your first two statements but not the last one. Who said a working mom can just take a day off when she has to already use up a few days off for the actual holiday?
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amother




Dodgerblue
 

Post Mon, Mar 22 2021, 8:33 pm
I'm a SAHM and I literally can't do a thing till the kids are asleep. My day starts when the kids are in bed. When I was working, my day was more scheduled.
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amother




Purple
 

Post Mon, Mar 22 2021, 8:34 pm
amother [ Dodgerblue ] wrote:
I'm a SAHM and I literally can't do a thing till the kids are asleep. My day starts when the kids are in bed. When I was working, my day was more scheduled.


um I'm a working mom and my day also starts when the kids are in bed....why does working allow you to start household chores earlier in the day?
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amother




Dodgerblue
 

Post Mon, Mar 22 2021, 8:36 pm
amother [ Purple ] wrote:
um I'm a working mom and my day also starts when the kids are in bed....why does working allow you to start household chores earlier in the day?


Because I had the pressure that everything must get done so I was on a schedule. I had a schedule for cooking and laundry and everything got done. Now my days are unscheduled and I can't get much done with kids at home.
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amother




Purple
 

Post Mon, Mar 22 2021, 8:40 pm
amother [ Dodgerblue ] wrote:
Because I had the pressure that everything must get done so I was on a schedule. I had a schedule for cooking and laundry and everything got done. Now my days are unscheduled and I can't get much done with kids at home.


Sorry I'm a little confused. Youre saying that when you worked you were able to cook and do laundry when the kids were up, but now you can't do those chores until they are asleep?

And why cant you create a schedule as a sahm also. when I wasn't working for a few months last year due to covid the first thing I did was set up daily schedules and routines
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amother




Green
 

Post Mon, Mar 22 2021, 8:42 pm
I work in public school which is full time during the school year with nice breaks for winter holidays and summer. They don't coincide very well with my kids schedule but its better than nothing. I am working until my husband's business does well enough for me not to have to work... including benefits and all that.... it will probably be another few years at least.

My ideal job situation would be working 2-3 days a week, from 9:30 to 1. And make enough money that way. That way I will have something to get me out of the house/feel fullfilled but also not so much that forces me to plan the exact timing of my grocery shopping, shabbos cooking and laundry loads...

Sigh. A girl can dream, right?
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amother




Cobalt
 

Post Mon, Mar 22 2021, 8:45 pm
amother [ Green ] wrote:
I work in public school which is full time during the school year with nice breaks for winter holidays and summer. They don't coincide very well with my kids schedule but its better than nothing. I am working until my husband's business does well enough for me not to have to work... including benefits and all that.... it will probably be another few years at least.

My ideal job situation would be working 2-3 days a week, from 9:30 to 1. And make enough money that way. That way I will have something to get me out of the house/feel fullfilled but also not so much that forces me to plan the exact timing of my grocery shopping, shabbos cooking and laundry loads...

Sigh. A girl can dream, right?


I assumed this set up was everyone’s dreM lol
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amother




Dodgerblue
 

Post Mon, Mar 22 2021, 8:46 pm
amother [ Purple ] wrote:
Sorry I'm a little confused. Youre saying that when you worked you were able to cook and do laundry when the kids were up, but now you can't do those chores until they are asleep?

And why cant you create a schedule as a sahm also. when I wasn't working for a few months last year due to covid the first thing I did was set up daily schedules and routines


When I was working I did all laundry on Sunday and dinners were either in crockpot or also cooked on Sunday. It's not happening now, probably partly because my kids are older and I have more kids. My days were definitely more structured when I was working.
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