Home

Am I doing something wrong?

 
Post new topic   Reply to topic    Forum -> Parenting our children


View latest: 24h 48h 72h


amother




OP
 

Post Fri, Apr 02 2021, 1:25 pm
Experienced imas I need advice! Ds (12 months) only wants to go to DH. I try to be the best mom possible. Maybe I'm on my phone too much but really try only when hes sleeping. Dh is up with him every morning since they both wake up early and they play together. By the time I wake up it's mad rush to drop off by the babysitter, run to work and then come home prepare dinner and then bedtime. Shabbos and yt I bond with him a lot. For the past few months I saw that ds prefers going to my husband over me but I didnt think too much about it reassuring myself that it's a healthy sign and when he looks at DH he sees 'fun' and I am the serious one. But now over the yt I had so much time together and he literally cries when I take him from DH. I try to tell myself that its okay hes just a baby but it's starting to really bother me. Do you think he resents me? Am I not doing a good job as a parent? Is this normal? I guess I'm just asking for reassurance... Can't Believe It
Back to top

amother




Slategray
 

Post Fri, Apr 02 2021, 1:28 pm
You are not doing anything wrong! I could've written this, my baby prefers going to my husband, I work full time and he learns and stays with him mostly.

Don't worry, use Shabbat and weekend to bond with your baby and after playing with you he'll want to go to you more.Thumbs Up
Back to top

hodeez




 
 
 
 

Post Fri, Apr 02 2021, 1:28 pm
Normal. Some kids just have their preferences. My oldest used to prefer my husband but now she's nice to both of us. They usually outgrow it. But to note, I'm the strict one and my husband is the the one who will play with them and throw them across the room and catch them midair. So I understand the appeal Smile
Back to top

amother




Denim
 

Post Fri, Apr 02 2021, 1:31 pm
I could have written this and I’m a SAHM. All my kids were like this until they get smarter lol. But my baby now is 19 months and I love him and adore him and give him all he needs. Daddy comes home and it’s ta ta and only ta. As if I didn’t manage my whole day around this little fella. I think it’s adorable. He doesn’t let me put on his shoes, socks or anything, everything is ta ta. Buttttt. Try leaving the house! He’ll holler after me. But daddy can go daven snd he’ll be perfectly fine. So the blood is there 🤪 dw about it. Take advantage while
It lasts.
Back to top

amother




Pumpkin
 

Post Fri, Apr 02 2021, 1:44 pm
There's no rhyme or reason to any of it. My husband has always worked really long hours while I've always been either a sahm or working very flexible, not so many hours a week. Some of my kids preferred me because they saw more of me, others preferred Abba because he was more of a novelty. Also, kids go through phases. An Ima phase for months suddenly switches to an Abba phase for a while, or vice versa. This is all with little kids, as they get over, it evens out unless there is a serious disparity (one parent being more difficult to get along with etc).
Back to top

amother




OP
 

Post Fri, Apr 02 2021, 1:59 pm
Thanks for all the responses! It's making me feel much better. I also started doubting myself because recently DH said something like "he doesnt have that strong connection with you because you expect too much of him and that your doubting his love ". I got so mad. First dont confuse my saying that he likes you better for a fact. Just saying it to make DH feel good. Second I dont expect nothing from my child! Hes a baby for heavens sake! And he doesnt need to love me. I'm his parent and I need and want to love him unconditionally. Now and forever. But such a statement planted seeds of doubt. like they say mothers dont need to take a vacation, since we go on a guilt trip every day Wink...
Back to top

amother




Forestgreen
 

Post Fri, Apr 02 2021, 1:59 pm
I train my kids to prefer abba! They naturally go to him at a certain age (9ish months to try and half) and then cling to me again after their daddy phase. They go back and forth alit. But when I'm pregnant I start training them again to get attached to abba as I need to focus on newborn and recovery.
Back to top

amother




OP
 

Post Fri, Apr 02 2021, 2:04 pm
amother [ Forestgreen ] wrote:
I train my kids to prefer abba! They naturally go to him at a certain age (9ish months to try and half) and then cling to me again after their daddy phase. They go back and forth alit. But when I'm pregnant I start training them again to get attached to abba as I need to focus on newborn and recovery.

Just curious how do you go about training a child to go to either parent? Its actually starting to sound appealing 😅
Back to top

amother




Lilac
 

Post Fri, Apr 02 2021, 2:28 pm
Totally normal here. My husband walks in and they run to the door “daddy!!”
Back to top

amother




Taupe
 

Post Fri, Apr 02 2021, 2:35 pm
Lucky you! Enjoy it! My kids always only want me and I’m jealous of people like you!!
Back to top
Recent Topics

Page 1 of 1 View latest: 24h 48h 72h


Post new topic   Reply to topic    Forum -> Parenting our children

Related Topics Replies Last Post
BYBP Daycare lost slots, what are you doing next year?
by amother
9 Yesterday at 8:22 pm View last post
Fellow Israeli amothers, how are you doing? 0 Yesterday at 6:43 pm View last post
Lauren Eisenberger still doing curly sheitels?
by amother
2 Tue, Apr 27 2021, 9:32 pm View last post
I thought you should know, you have it all wrong!
by amother
25 Thu, Apr 15 2021, 4:31 pm View last post
What did you end up doing today?
by amother
29 Thu, Apr 01 2021, 9:13 am View last post