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3rd totaled van in 3 years and I can't handle anymore
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amother




OP
 

Post Wed, Apr 07 2021, 5:07 pm
My husband totaled his 3rd minivan in 3 years. It's becoming an annual event.

First time was totally his fault, tried to pass someone in a no passing zone. Second time was not, driver making a turn smashed into him. Third time debatable, he headed out in bad weather and skidded.

Banging head Banging head

I just can't anymore. I can't.

Problem is one of our kids needs therapy and without a van there's no way to take her back and forth. That's the only reason I'd even consider buying another.

But how? With what money?

Can't Believe It Can't Believe It
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trixx




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Apr 07 2021, 5:32 pm
Did you share here last time he totaled it? So sorry.
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amother




Orchid
 

Post Wed, Apr 07 2021, 5:41 pm
Maybe lease, and insurance covers the damage.
It's not worth buying of you won't have it long term.
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amother




Bisque
 

Post Wed, Apr 07 2021, 8:33 pm
What’s with insurance? Our car had thousands of dollars in damages (not our fault) and it was all covered.
But if your car is totaled then you should get back it’s current value.
Or are you buying very cheap cars?
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amother




OP
 

Post Wed, Apr 07 2021, 8:37 pm
amother [ Bisque ] wrote:
What’s with insurance? Our car had thousands of dollars in damages (not our fault) and it was all covered.
But if your car is totaled then you should get back it’s current value.
Or are you buying very cheap cars?


The insurance paid out enough to cover our car loan.

The problem is our financial situation has changed a lot in the past year and I wouldn’t be able to get another loan on the same terms.

We actually bought a more expensive van last time thinking that if there was damage they’d pay to repair it instead of declaring it a total loss. But then we learned that if the cost to repair is more than 50% the value of the vehicle it’s considered a total loss.
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amother




Bisque
 

Post Wed, Apr 07 2021, 8:41 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
The insurance paid out enough to cover our car loan.

The problem is our financial situation has changed a lot in the past year and I wouldn’t be able to get another loan on the same terms.

We actually bought a more expensive van last time thinking that if there was damage they’d pay to repair it instead of declaring it a total loss. But then we learned that if the cost to repair is more than 50% the value of the vehicle it’s considered a total loss.

I hear you. That’s tough Sad
Do you need the van or can you get a smaller car?
Or do you have a rental place nearby and you can rent instead?
I only have one car right now and it’s so hard. I’m going to have to just make a decision and do something because it’s not really working anymore.
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amother




Ruby
 

Post Wed, Apr 07 2021, 9:16 pm
Put a tzedaka box and sefer in the car
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amother




OP
 

Post Wed, Apr 07 2021, 9:18 pm
amother [ Bisque ] wrote:
I hear you. That’s tough Sad
Do you need the van or can you get a smaller car?
Or do you have a rental place nearby and you can rent instead?
I only have one car right now and it’s so hard. I’m going to have to just make a decision and do something because it’s not really working anymore.


I don’t know. We probably could make do with a smaller car and take 2cars if we need to go somewhere as a family.

It’s just so hard that my husband is not a safe or reliable driver. How can I let him drive my kids around?

My daughter missed therapy today bc of lack of transportation. It just feels so unfair. 😢
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amother




OP
 

Post Wed, Apr 07 2021, 9:19 pm
amother [ Ruby ] wrote:
Put a tzedaka box and sefer in the car


Thanks for the advice.

We had one actually.
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Notsobusy




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Apr 07 2021, 10:23 pm
Did you check if it's fixable? Maybe instead of using the insurance money to pay back the loan it might be worth fixing the van.
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amother




OP
 

Post Wed, Apr 07 2021, 10:30 pm
Notsobusy wrote:
Did you check if it's fixable? Maybe instead of using the insurance money to pay back the loan it might be worth fixing the van.


It’s a total loss. The insurance decided that, not me.
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Amarante




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Apr 07 2021, 10:31 pm
Three accidents in as many years is excessive regardless of purported fault because there is such a thing as defensive driving. I was taught to drive defensively and assume that any other driver is likely to do something stupid at any point. Yes there are accidents but I have managed to go 20 years without an accident in a major metropolitan city as well as driving insane LA freeways for long commutes.

I took driver's ed but my father really was the one who taught me how to drive and I still can hear his voice in my ear admonishing caution.

I would think having your husband enroll in some kind of program that teaches safe driving and defensive driving should be done.
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Notsobusy




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Apr 07 2021, 10:56 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
It’s a total loss. The insurance decided that, not me.


I totalled my minivan, as per the insurance company. They also said it's a total loss. They sent us a check and we took it to a body shop and they fixed it for us. And we had extra money left over.
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amother




OP
 

Post Wed, Apr 07 2021, 10:58 pm
Notsobusy wrote:
I totalled my minivan, as per the insurance company. They also said it's a total loss. They sent us a check and we took it to a body shop and they fixed it for us. And we had extra money left over.


We wanted to do that but once your car is declared a total loss you can’t get a registration for it. Maybe the law is different in different states.
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mra01385




 
 
 
 

Post Wed, Apr 07 2021, 11:08 pm
I’m sorry for your car loss. I very much understand how it is to be with one car as I’ve been in that situation before for many years and relied on public transportation or rides.
In the meantime, maybe take Uber to where you need to go.
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amother




Bisque
 

Post Wed, Apr 07 2021, 11:11 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
We wanted to do that but once your car is declared a total loss you can’t get a registration for it. Maybe the law is different in different states.
It is. You can do it in Pennsylvania but not New Jersey.
I agree with amante that a defensive driving course would probably be helpful.
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amother




Teal
 

Post Wed, Apr 07 2021, 11:25 pm
My husbands car would get damaged if he didn’t put on teffilin or wasn’t passing maaser

Something is happening for a reason...
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amother




Tan
 

Post Wed, Apr 07 2021, 11:30 pm
I'd definitely check your Mezuzos and have someone make sure they're positioned properly on all the doors of your home (and garage!).

We had no car for long periods of time. It's really really hard, and Uber here is not reliable at all. We rented when we could, and just were stuck for many occasions.

Now we have one car, and rent a second whenever we need to bring the family.
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amother




Bronze
 

Post Wed, Apr 07 2021, 11:49 pm
Notsobusy wrote:
I totalled my minivan, as per the insurance company. They also said it's a total loss. They sent us a check and we took it to a body shop and they fixed it for us. And we had extra money left over.


I did the same exact thing in NJ. Minivan lasted us many more years and we also made money off the deal. We also reinsured it with the same insurance company once we fixed it (I was surprised they were willing to insure a car they declared a total loss but ... they were).
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FranticFrummie




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Apr 08 2021, 8:17 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
I don’t know. We probably could make do with a smaller car and take 2cars if we need to go somewhere as a family.

It’s just so hard that my husband is not a safe or reliable driver. How can I let him drive my kids around?

My daughter missed therapy today bc of lack of transportation. It just feels so unfair. 😢


This is the most worrying thing, even more concerning than the van, the money, and the inconvenience. Some day, DH or one of your kids may get hurt, CVS!

Does your DH seem to have ADD? If so, can you get him on meds? If he's spacy and easily distracted, he is not safe on the road! I would also insist on driver's classes before he gets behind the wheel again. Does he even admit that these accidents seem unusually frequent, or does he always blame someone else?

I can't even imagine how many points are on his license, and how high his driver's insurance is right now.
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