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3rd totaled van in 3 years and I can't handle anymore
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Notsobusy




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Apr 08 2021, 8:37 am
amother [ Bronze ] wrote:
I did the same exact thing in NJ. Minivan lasted us many more years and we also made money off the deal. We also reinsured it with the same insurance company once we fixed it (I was surprised they were willing to insure a car they declared a total loss but ... they were).


I'm also in NJ. We also reinsured with the same company. And we also had the minivan for many more years.

OP, from what you said it doesn't sound like your husband is necessarily an unsafe driver. One accident was completely not his fault and one happened in bad weather. So only one accident was really his fault, hopefully he learned his lesson from that one. Most people, even the best drivers, have one accident that was their fault. Things happen sometimes.
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amother




OP
 

Post Thu, Apr 08 2021, 8:57 am
Maybe Hashem is sending us a message that we're not meant to have a van?

I'm just confused. I don't know what to make of it. And I'm not up for the process of shopping for a new van. Not to mention that our financial situation has changed in the past year and we won't be able to get a loan on good terms.

I'm going to look into what assistance I can get for transportation for my daughter for her therapy. The rest we will have to work around.
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amother




Burgundy
 

Post Thu, Apr 08 2021, 8:59 am
sorry you are dealing with this!

good luck!
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watergirl




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Apr 08 2021, 9:11 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Maybe Hashem is sending us a message that we're not meant to have a van?

I'm just confused. I don't know what to make of it. And I'm not up for the process of shopping for a new van. Not to mention that our financial situation has changed in the past year and we won't be able to get a loan on good terms.

I'm going to look into what assistance I can get for transportation for my daughter for her therapy. The rest we will have to work around.

Or maybe the message is that your husband should have more respect for money, property, and others and take a few more defensive driving classes and driving classes in general.
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amother




OP
 

Post Thu, Apr 08 2021, 9:15 am
watergirl wrote:
Or maybe the message is that your husband should have more respect for money, property, and others and take a few more defensive driving classes and driving classes in general.


I don't know if you realize how unhelpful it is to bash my husband in this thread.

If you are fortunate to have a responsible, dependable husband, great for you.

I'm not sure why people think it's helpful to remind people who are going through challenges about how fortunate THEY are in comparison.
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chanchy123




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Apr 08 2021, 9:45 am
Newer cars come with amazing safety features, it might be worth spending more money next time and buying a new half-autonomous car even if it is only a five seater. Also it is definitely worth it for DH to take a free advanced driving lessons. You don’t want DH losing confidence in his driving skills either.
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watergirl




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Apr 08 2021, 9:50 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
I don't know if you realize how unhelpful it is to bash my husband in this thread.

If you are fortunate to have a responsible, dependable husband, great for you.

I'm not sure why people think it's helpful to remind people who are going through challenges about how fortunate THEY are in comparison.

There was no bashing and no where did I even hint or suggest that I am more fortunate than you. I really think it would be a good idea for him to take driving courses. That's not a bash, it's a suggestion. You wondered if Hashem was telling you not to get a van and I suggested another possible message where hishtadlus could help you out.

By the way, my husband is constantly driving the car onto the curb and giving us flat tires. He is constantly driving too close to walls and our car is all scraped up. Our bumper is a long gone memory. All of our car damage is small beans compared to totaling a car, but they are all too small to qualify for an insurance claim and they go unfixed or paid for out of pocket. It really adds up to quite a lot. I told him the same thing I told you. My husband needs to slow down and take classes.
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amother




OP
 

Post Thu, Apr 08 2021, 9:54 am
watergirl wrote:
There was no bashing and no where did I even hint or suggest that I am more fortunate than you. I really think it would be a good idea for him to take driving courses. That's not a bash, it's a suggestion. You wondered if Hashem was telling you not to get a van and I suggested another possible message where hishtadlus could help you out.

By the way, my husband is constantly driving the car onto the curb and giving us flat tires. He is constantly driving too close to walls and our car is all scraped up. Our bumper is a long gone memory. All of our car damage is small beans compared to totaling a car, but they are all too small to qualify for an insurance claim and they go unfixed or paid for out of pocket. It really adds up to quite a lot. I told him the same thing I told you. My husband needs to slow down and take classes.


This is a bash:

Quote:
your husband should have more respect for money, property, and others


Suggesting that he take a defensive driving course is fair. Making judgments about his respect for money, property and others was unnecessary.
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watergirl




 
 
 
 

Post Thu, Apr 08 2021, 9:55 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Suggesting that he take a defensive driving course is fair. Making judgments about his respect for money, property and others was unnecessary.

That is not how it was intended. I am sorry.
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